Tell us about your weekend ride

johnnyhotdog repped.

Thats some ride. The profile looks insane.

It really was great.

Here's some photographs now they've been sorted through:

I was still buzzing from the Savannah Classic just 6 days previous so I was keen for more racing. I certainly got some!

**Hazardous Highlights
**- My friend Stevo went to hospital after a crash at the finish

• A mate smashed a £1000 carbon wheel after just 10 minutes
  
• A rider was waving at the camera, rode into the back at me and took out another rider as he hit the deck
  
• A petrol truck forced me off the road and onto the rocky verge
  
• Nearly flattened a stray dog
  
• Near head-on collision with another lorry at a big junction
  
  

Numbers
Distance was apparently 104km [64.6 miles] and 335m ascent, I finished 13th in 03:10:00 for an average of 32.8kph [20.4mph]. Well I didn't actually finish 13th, but a few riders were disqualified for U-turning early and for holding onto pickup trucks. Drafting trucks was implicitly allowed - it is de rigueur for Kenyan racers.

Start
It took 8km of navigating Nairobi's toxic sprawl to get from my white-man's-castle to Dandora, conditions deteriorating both on the roads and in the skies. An omen of the tough race ahead! Dandora is a part of Nairobi known for its colossal mountain of trash and its thugs [see Britain's finest ambassador]. The race started a full 150 minutes late, proper Kenyan styley.

**0-50km
**The obligatory clandestine flag poked out of a vehicle to tell the bunch it's race o'clock and the flagpole almost jousted me. The bunch picked up pace and I clung on for about 50km of cracked pavement, surprise pot-holes and regular shouts of SPEED BUMPS - bunny-hoppable at 40kph if you see them in time.

After 15 minutes fellow mzungu Kieron hit a pothole and punctured, see you later! Then as a cameraman leant out of a car window to film us I felt my rear wheel drift a little. My rear tyre was singing the tune of ZZZZZZZZZ-SSSSSSHHIPP, until the unmistakable sound of aluminium & limbs on tarmac made the penny drop - someone was looking at the camera, got too friendly with my rear wheel and hit the deck along with another rider. I must track down this video.

Bunch riding was not without anxiety. There was lots of jockeying for position and no proactive cooperation between riders. I clung the to back, got dropped during climbs and then caught up on each descent. Three times I thought "You'll never pull this one back, Ndeipi", but closed the gap each time. The fourth big gap felt like game over until Kieron appeared miraculously like a knight in shining armour and nursed me back to rejoin the group just as a breakaway started, so the whole group accelerated and I was insta-dropped AGAIN. I'd lost the peleton forever. Figsticks.

**50-90km
**The race route was out-and-return, so at around 1-2km before halfway I was descending a hill whilst the leading bunch were ascending back towards the start/finish. I will forever remember the gritted teeth on the leader's face, two other riders nipping at his rear wheel. Powering up the ramp, they pushed so hard over speed bumps I thought they'd leave 23mm grooves straight through them.

Initially alone on the return leg, I remember catching up to one powerful Kenyan rider who'd punctured out of the leading group. He attacked me like crazy but wasn't particularly slick - he would drift right to leave me in the wind, CLICK CLACK CLICK up the gears, stand and then sprint. He tried weaving right-left-right-left, inviting me to copy to stick to his wheel. I laughed because I felt like Sep Vanmarck chasing Cancellara in the 2013 Paris Roubaix, then screamed repeatedly "FANYA KAZI KWA MOJA" [work together], as this proved successful historically. He chilled out and asked me for a banana. "If I give you this banana will you work with me or just leave?" "I'll work with you." "Promise?" "Yes!" After a couple of turns each I was only able to cling to him for about 15 minutes until he blurted 'YOU'RE NOT WORKING. If you don't work I'll just go." I explained my lack-of-legs situation, sheepishly took a weak turn on the front, clung onto him for five minutes and was summarily dropped. Regardless, I feel I got value from my banana.

I caught another rider who'd managed to stay ahead of me on a MTB. A cocking MTB, for christ's sake! Races in Kenya only attract riders if they have prize money. The prize for winning the road category was about £120, but for MTB it was about £135 so riders were chasing the cash, fair play in a country where minimum wage is like 25p/hr (which explains the cheating, more later). This MTB rider was in his thirties and I valued his maturity in comparison to the uncooperative, attacking teenagers. We made a good team as I, heavier & more aero, could lead downhill whilst his lower weight helped us both fly uphill. At a junction with a highway an oncoming truck failed to yield, instead it turned across us and I had one of those awkward moments we've all had walking on pavements, i.e. "I'll go to the left - oh no you've gone left too - fine I'll go right - DON'T GO RIGHT AS WELL! AAARGH". The truck's brakes squealed as we stopped nose-to-nose. Oh the calamity.

**90-104km
**The congested, undulating road climbed back to the finish at Dandora, seemingly packed with every heavy goods vehicle in East Africa. My MTB chum ran out of puff, leaving me with a 14km solo effort to the finish. I was suffering but perversely enjoyed the stinging. I found a comfy, dark corner in my pain cave and didn't stop pushing. I flew. I was forced off the road by a petrol tanker as it tried to overtake and then veered left till I dropped off the jagged tarmac cliff-edge. I hopped straight back on and pushed hard again, overtaking rider after rider, using a year's experience of Nairobi-traffic-dodging to keep the pace high. The trick is to scare oncoming vehicles into giving you some wiggle room for overtaking slow cars at speed bumps. A man standing in the middle of the road held a sign (scrawled in biro) "FINISH 200m". Ahead I could see another rider moving slowly towards the finish, so I shifted up four gears and sprinted. The other rider saw me and tried to accelerate, but I was moving twice as fast and just caught him at the finish line, beating him by half a bike length. As I pulled over to the side of the busy road I noticed it was James Karanja, the 15 year old kid who beat me in the Savannah Classic. He reluctantly shook my hand but I could tell he wasn't happy! I'm sure if he was 25 like me then I'd have lost that sprint, but I'll take these victories where I can get them. I was so short of breath that I must have appeared mid asthma attack - I couldn't gasp the air in fast enough. I was dizzy and could see whirling shapes when I shut my eyes. I then saw my friend Stevo, covered in scrapes, being helping into an ambulance. Apparently there had been a crash at the finish.

So overall a dangerous, painful, exhilarating race. Kieron summed it up well: "A stupid place to put a race. I smashed a carbon front wheel, but someone could have been killed."

Nearest pub?

Lovely report Ndeipi, really appreciated the reading.

Isn't there a ride on Saturday mornings that leaves from somewhere near Clapton/Lea Bridge Road?
Can't for the life of me remember which forum I found it on.

EDIT:
Here we go.
http://www.rollapaluza.cc/forum/comments.php?DiscussionID=439&page=1

I won't get to join their forum by tomorrow morning - my application pending. So what do you guys reckon? Will there be people on the corner of Lea Bridge Road and Chatsworth Rd tomorrow morning? At 8am? And will they do mean things to me if I am a not on their forum? And on a fixed gear?

Had a good spin around Epping way this morning. Lots of headwinds on the way out and tailwinds on the way home. The big man upstairs was smiling on me in that respect.

Was minding my own business going down London Rd near Toot Hill when all of a sudden I was swamped by a load of Hackney CC riders blasting along, so I joined them for 20 mins or so. I would have stuck with them longer as they seemed happy for me to tag along and were pushing a good pace, but they were heading home earlier that I had planned.

There was one guy riding fixed who was super powerful, putting all the geared riders to shame on the long draggy climbs - if you're reading this say hi, and chapeau to you sir! I was the guy in a red wapha with a tatt on my calf.

It was a timely intervention by Hackney CC as I've been wanting to join a club for ages. Does anyone here ride with them, and if so, reveal all.... what are the club runs like? Are there generally a few options for distance etc? Am very keen.

Link for no one to look at: http://app.strava.com/activities/85700501

Join CCH. It's a great club.

Join CCH. It's a great club.

I really like the vibe about them, very grassroots with a few things going on (track, road, cyclocross etc) and the emphasis on encouraging youf riders is ace. Plus super-local.

I want to find a club where there's a good group of strong riders who can push my performance up (want to start racing), and the bunch I joined today seemed like they'd do that. Friendly too which is great.

They tick all the boxes for you except for riding much in Kent. :)

^ Yeh, there is that minor issue. I am very bored of Essex and absolutely love Kent. But I don't particularly fancy riding all the way to Crystal Palace before a club run to join Dunwich / Brixton et al, and I guess it's all very different when you're in a group.

Maybe will save Kent for special occasions. Y'know, birthdays, weddings etc.

Monsieur 7ven, did you do a tandem ride with the nipper on the back baout 3 weeks ago with a stop at Tanhouse?. If so you did a pretty awesome job of hauling that bike any your daughter up that dirty climb after BoxHill train station

Great account Ndeipi, sums up my feelings exactly. See, I told you I had a user account here!

Monsieur 7ven, did you do a tandem ride with the nipper on the back baout 3 weeks ago with a stop at Tanhouse?. If so you did a pretty awesome job of hauling that bike any your daughter up that dirty climb after BoxHill train station

Not me Sir as at that stage, I was waiting for 2 x 151mm cottered axles to arrive from the good ol' US of A/new cups to arrive as this summers tandem activities had taken its toll on the drive train (2 x L2B rides, Whitstable, Cambridge and some hilly Kent action). I have this compulsion to keep old stuff going....

Planning on getting the train out of London to Bexleyheath on Sunday for a 65ish miler to Dover. Anyone got any must-sees or must-ride roads on the way? I know a lot of you guys ride in Kent.

Took a lovely spin around Essex today in search of hills. I found about five in the space of 53km, two of them somewhat serious. Also, with a strong tailwind, I managed a minute at 50kph on the flat. Glorious.

Also I popped into a sheltered side-road to have a wee and sadly, because I have the squits, felt a a tiny unintended emergence. I scrambled up the mossy verge into the bushes to correct the situation - which turned out to be a false alarm. A van swung into the sheltered road and stopped suddenly next to my bike. The driver looked at it for a couple of seconds, looked up the road, looked down the road and started taking off his seatbelt. I shouted "YO!", which startled him and he shouted "Yo!" back. So then we both lied to each other:
Me: "I was just having a piss",
Him: "Oh ok, I was just wondering whose bike this was"
Me: "Ok mate no worries". Off he drove, and out of the bushes I clambered.

So grey today it beautied the world!

Where's this?

Where's this?

Here https://maps.google.dk/?ll=55.587592,12.55644&spn=0.004469,0.010321&t=h&z=17

Family ride to the cafe 'n back on the tandem & yepp mini. Was awesome as that's the first time we did owt like that since baby rhb arrived.

^ p.s. repaired the slack chain (caused by slipping wheel in dropouts) before we headed back, had brought my workshop tools just incase thankfully 2 spanners sorted it.

Did the Wiggle New Forest Sportive but was geared not Fixed and also slow too

https://www.strava.com/activities/87275667

Had a nice 60 mile ride in the new forest yesterday , did see a lot of people doing the wiggle ride ... I was on a geared steel bike
https://www.strava.com/activities/87006023

Viking challenge in Leicestershire today. 50km in 2hrs 09 mins. Pleased with that. Nice spread at the end.

Went for a challenging but beautiful couple of days in the Peak District. Train out to Sheffield, cycle up some bastard hills, stay in a remote youth hostel and eat enormous meals for dinner and breakfast, then another day of slightly less bastard hills. Wonderful way to spend a weekend, and I managed to make it up Winnats Pass and Snake Pass without giving up at any point. Although I probably recorded the slowest ever ascent times on both of these. Great stuff, and nice gently achey legs this morning.

For people who are interested in routes etc.

Day 1: Sheffield to YHA Gradbach, via Hope Valley / Winnats Pass
http://www.strava.com/activities/87413557
Day 2: YHA Gradbach to Sheffield, via Glossop and then Snake Pass
http://www.strava.com/activities/87413542