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• #126
Sumo
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Found a massive wolf spider as big as a large free range egg tonight. It was sat on the pavement underneath a streetlight. I stopped and looked closely at it. I don't know why, they're terrifying. It didn't move. I touched it very gently with the edge of my shoe. It didn't move. It arched its body a bit. It had fangs! I touched it again with my shoe and it jumped on top of my foot. I screamed and shook my leg and flicked it up in the air but didn't see where it went, and fearing it might land on my head I had to scuttle backwards still screaming whilst covering my head with my hands.
ha ha!
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This is better though!
http://www.firebox.com/product/2638/Gyro-Flyer-R-C-Helicopter#yourvideos
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We once had a real problem with crows, they were starting to colonise a beech tree near our garden and were savaging the smaller birds, eating goldfish from the pond and generally being a murderous menace. Dad instructed me to try and shoot one of them as a deterrent. I took my air rifle and crawled along the edge of a field near their beech tree. They're incredibly sharp. They knew I was there. Every time one settled nearby, at the moment I started to slowly lift the gun to my shoulder they would spot it and take off.
After maybe an hour of lying in the bush barely moving, a big lazy crow landed on the phone line that crossed the field. It hadn't seen me, so I slowly slowly raised the gun, lined the bird up in the sights and squeezed the trigger. It was a good shot. I aimed high and right to compensate for the wind and the angle, and I could hardly believe the dull smacking sound the pellet made when it hit the bird's neck. It took off from the line for a second, but then fell straight down into the long grass with its useless wings outstretched. I lowered the gun, watching.
Suddenly the sky above the dead bird was full of crows, maybe fifty of them. They were circling madly and swooping at the body and screaming out. It was terrible and crazy and weird and full of grief, like a voodoo funeral. It went on for twenty minutes and then they disbanded slowly and left. And they never came back to the tree. The crow remains the only animal I ever shot.
Then a wasp stung me on the balls and I went home.
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Serves you fucking right. Crows are brilliant.
Bollocks.
Crows are just a Netto raven.
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We once had a real problem with crows, they were starting to colonise a beech tree near our garden and were savaging the smaller birds, eating goldfish from the pond and generally being a murderous menace. Dad instructed me to try and shoot one of them as a deterrent. I took my air rifle and crawled along the edge of a field near their beech tree. They're incredibly sharp. They knew I was there. Every time one settled nearby, at the moment I started to slowly lift the gun to my shoulder they would spot it and take off.
After maybe an hour of lying in the bush barely moving, a big lazy crow landed on the phone line that crossed the field. It hadn't seen me, so I slowly slowly raised the gun, lined the bird up in the sights and squeezed the trigger. It was a good shot. I aimed high and right to compensate for the wind and the angle, and I could hardly believe the dull smacking sound the pellet made when it hit the bird's neck. It took off from the line for a second, but then fell straight down into the long grass with its useless wings outstretched. I lowered the gun, watching.
Suddenly the sky above the dead bird was full of crows, maybe fifty of them. They were circling madly and swooping at the body and screaming out. It was terrible and crazy and weird and full of grief, like a voodoo funeral. It went on for twenty minutes and then they disbanded slowly and left. And they never came back to the tree. The crow remains the only animal I ever shot.
Then a wasp stung me on the balls and I went home.
Ace story.
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wasps - it was a sunny summer's day and me, being a little nippkes and chained to my desk at school, was up and out when the teacher announced that schools finished for today due to the heat.
i ran out the door among the first and down the stairs and out, across the school yeard. i was first by that time and we where screaming for joy "yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah!" running down to the gates.it was a little blackish insect that flew into my mouth. i suddenly stopped, coughing, spitting and i almost choked but managed to spit the fucker out. there it lay, a wasp. noone was screaming now and my freinds looked at me unsure of what just happend. i felt intense heat in my throat and soon had problems breathing. i am on the ground and everyone was looking concerned. i remember bright blue summer sky behind them and though that it is a dam' inconvenient time to be in trouble already as i just got out of school early.
my memory set in a day later - i am in a hospital, every one around seemed rather happy to see me, and i got ice cream - a lot of ice cream, as much as i wanted :] for two or three days!
that summer, i usually kept my mouth shut while running - i still do.
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wasps - it was a sunny summer's day and me, being a little nippkes and chained to my desk at school, was up and out when the teacher announced that schools finished for today due to the heat.
i ran out the door among the first and down the stairs and out, across the school yeard. i was first by that time and we where screaming for joy "yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah!" running down to the gates.it was a little blackish insect that flew into my mouth. i suddenly stopped, coughing, spitting and i almost choked but managed to spit the fucker out. there it lay, a wasp. noone was screaming now and my freinds looked at me unsure of what just happend. i felt intense heat in my throat and soon had problems breathing. i am on the ground and everyone was looking concerned. i remember bright blue summer sky behind them and though that it is a dam' inconvenient time to be in trouble already as i just got out of school early.
my memory set in a day later - i am in a hospital, every one around seemed rather happy to see me, and i got ice cream - a lot of ice cream, as much as i wanted :] for two or three days!
that summer, i usually kept my mouth shut while running - i still do.
And then a wasp stung you on the balls and you went home?
DFP
EEI
EB
31trum
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Balki
Crumb
neu
General_Lucifer
reeen
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