Ways not to lock your bike

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  • Was it a shit area?

  • Current suggestion is to buy a replacement lock, cut this one off, lock up the other bike with the new lock and take the key leaving a note to not lock other people's bikes up.

    And smear a bit of poo on the handlebars, obviously?

    Bit late I know but if that happened to me I would just cut the lock and if I was feeling generous (unlikely given what has happened) I would try to arrange the cut lock so that it looked like the bike was still locked. If I was in a really shitty mood (much more likely) I would leave the bike blatantly unlocked with a note on it that said "for free".

  • This happened to me and a friend last night on Hackney Road. Stupid woman eventually came back. It turns out she knew exactly what she'd done before leaving her bike, but was "only going to be 15 minutes". I stamped on her dog.

  • That woman's bike is still in Covent Garden according to twitter.

  • At least it hasn't been stolen yet.

  • There's a bike on Northcote road, with two locks and a note saying something like, "This bike was stolen from me. I've put my lock on it so you can't take it away. Please remove your lock and I won't ask any questions".

    Unfortunately, the bike, note and locks have evidently been there for a long time and the wheels have been tacoed.

  • Axle grinder and take it back I would have said to the owner. Hopefully the bike thief was badly equipped with locks.

  • ANGLE grinder and take it back I would have said to the owner. Hopefully the bike thief was badly equipped with locks.

    FTFY

    Don't want to grind your axle off.

  • Ah vocabulary fail. Cheers. Depends which axl we are talking about though

  • I arrived at work and found this in the middle of the road.

    At first I assumed that the bike stands had been crashed into and the bike must have been locked to the stands. On closer inspection the bike isn't locked and there isn't any sign of a broken lock. There's also a helmet, I'm not sure who this belongs to.

    I hope that the bike hasn't been involved in an accident with a vehicle and the bike stands as if this is the case it looks pretty nasty.

    Anyone know more?

  • Right, a bit of detective work from the photos, I hope that I'm right, but I might be wrong.

    1. There's not blood on the ground. Sad as it is, the emergency services aren't always great about cleaning up blood, and even if it is cleaned, it leaves a nasty stain that takes a while to wash out. I therefore suspect that the bike was parked.

    2. Looking as closely as I can at the blue chain in the photos, it looks like its snapped away (this can be seen clearest in the first photo). I suspect that both the bike and helmet were locked together to the bike stands, which seems quite common with some people.

    3. Whatever hit that hit it with some force and speed, I suspect that the bike would have travelled forward onto the front bike rack, maybe over it, and has been pulled back again as the vehicle was recovered.

    4. From the bits of vehicle that are left on the pavement (the brown bits) I suspect that it was a white van, but it might have been a lorry.

    I'm sure that more can be worked out from those photos, but I feel really sorry for whoevers bike that is, they may well have a hard time finding out who trashed their bike. :(

  • Imagine locking your bike overnight and coming back to that! Almost worse than coming back to it not being there.

    Not that I'd lock my bike overnight anywhere public.

  • What is it that attracts white vans to trash pink bikes?

  • Saw this classic near Waterloo last week:

  • Just walked past this.

    :(

  • Ooo free panniers

  • Free Cateye too.

  • The company I work for used to sell those cufflink locks. Nice joke product, but no way near strong enough for London use, or use as a primary lock!

  • free bike minus frame! Genius.

  • ^^ Especially not on a £1700 IF frame with Chris King headset, carbon Chorus levers etc...

  • If someone wanted to be cunty they could just hit the iron railings with a big hammer and take the whole thing.

  • A hundred quid and I'll tell you where it is.

  • Already been. Left it there because the colour's all wrong.

    Decent selection of bash-mags in the panniers though.

  • This happened to me and a friend last night on Hackney Road. Stupid woman eventually came back. It turns out she knew exactly what she'd done before leaving her bike, but was "only going to be 15 minutes". I stamped on her dog.

    stamp duty rep. genuine lol here.

  • As promised, ways to not lock your portable traffic light.....

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Ways not to lock your bike

Posted by Avatar for illbill @illbill

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