Bodeans BBQ forum nosh-up

Posted on
Page
of 153
  • scene:

    [INDENT][Ford] sat down.

    The waiter approached.

    "Would you like to see the menu?" he said, "or would you like meet the Dish of the Day?"

    "Huh?" said Ford.

    "Huh?" said Arthur.

    "Huh?" said Trillian.

    "That's cool," said Zaphod, "we'll meet the meat."

    ...

    A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox's table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips.

    "Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in the parts of my body?"

    It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters in to a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.

    Its gaze was met by looks of startled bewilderment from Arthur and Trillian, a resigned shrug from Ford Prefect and naked hunger from Zaphod Beeblebrox.

    "Something off the shoulder perhaps?" suggested the animal, "braised in a white wine sauce?"

    "Er, your shoulder?" said Arthur in a horrified whisper.

    "But naturally my shoulder, sir," mooed the animal contentedly, "nobody else's is mine to offer."

    Zaphod leapt to his feet and started prodding and feeling the animal's shoulder appreciatively.

    "Or the rump is very good," murmured the animal. "I've been exercising it and eating plenty of grain, so there's a lot of good meat there."

    It gave a mellow grunt, gurgled again and started to chew the cud. It swallowed the cud again.

    "Or a casserole of me perhaps?" it added.

    "You mean this animal actually wants us to eat it?" whispered Trillian to Ford.

    "Me?" said Ford, with a glazed look in his eyes, "I don't mean anything."

    "That's absolutely horrible," exclaimed Arthur, "the most revolting thing I've ever heard."

    "What's the problem Earthman?" said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to the animal's enormous rump.

    "I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing there inviting me to," said Arthur, "It's heartless."

    "Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten," said Zaphod.

    "That's not the point," Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't care, I'm not going to think about it now. I'll just... er [...] I think I'll just have a green salad," he muttered.

    "May I urge you to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "it must be very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for months."

    "A green salad," said Arthur emphatically.

    "A green salad?" said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur.

    "Are you going to tell me," said Arthur, "that I shouldn't have green salad?"

    "Well," said the animal, "I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am."

    It managed a very slight bow.

    "Glass of water please," said Arthur.

    "Look," said Zaphod, "we want to eat, we don't want to make a meal of the issues. Four rare steaks please, and hurry. We haven't eaten in five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years."

    The animal staggered to its feet. It gave a mellow gurgle. "A very wise choice, sir, if I may say so. Very good," it said, "I'll just nip off and shoot myself."

    He turned and gave a friendly wink to Arthur. "Don't worry, sir," he said, "I'll be very humane."

    It waddled unhurriedly off to the kitchen.
    [/INDENT]

  • In other news, I rode past some people having a BBQ in their front garden last night around 8pm. I was starving hungry :/

  • has this been resolved yet? or is a humongous flounce about to happen?

  • I'm out, used up two passes this week, tomorrow night & Friday

  • wetlip

  • Thursday March 22nd, Soho Bodeans, 7.30pm


    1. Tender 'pork' loin
    2. Cleaver Pun
    3. Chuckaroo Steak
      5.

    I suspect this thread being so quiet means this probably ain't happening, but either way life has caught up with me and I'm out.

  • Yep used my passes up this week also... :( Out

  • Just to interupt, I cannot recommend this place highly enough: http://www.bigeasy.co.uk/v1/menus/index.aspx

    Monday night = all you can eat ribs and chicken with a beer for £14.99. Ribs better than Bodeans too AND 2 for 1 on frozen margaritas. Admittedly you do have to put up with the King's Road but it is well worth it.

  • We should do this as a vegan night, just to be inclusive.

    #Pisti suggested it

  • Reported

  • HA, can't stop and argue, got threads to troll.

  • Mmmmm, vegan burnt ends!

  • Too much chilli, presumably?

  • Had my 26th birthday at the big easy. It's good. They also do a lobster deal.

  • Neither of those people is me, btw

  • those are really big tongs

  • Zoidberg?

  • It's been a while since I've had the meat sweats. I say it's time for another forum sit down...

    Platter for two anyone? Date TBC.. But soon

    1. Brave
    2. Mrs Brave
  • Platter for two anyone? Date TBC.. But soon

    1. Brave
    2. Mrs Brave
    3. b&d

    In!

  • Platter for two anyone? Date TBC.. But soon

    1. Brave
    2. Mrs Brave
    3. b&d
    4. TW2plates of meat
  • Had lunch from there today. It's difficult not to when you can see down Poland St from your office window :(

  • I'm in, i'll be up this weekend if its a good time for people

    1. Brave
    2. Mrs Brave
    3. b&d
    4. TW2plates of meat
    5. spotter
    1. Brave
    2. Mrs Brave
    3. b&d
    4. TW2plates of meat
    5. spotter
    6. Clever Pt
    1. Brave
    2. Mrs Brave
    3. b&d
    4. TW2plates of meat
    5. spotter
    6. Clever Pt
    7. Sumo
  • Post a reply
    • Bold
    • Italics
    • Link
    • Image
    • List
    • Quote
    • code
    • Preview
About

Bodeans BBQ forum nosh-up

Posted by Avatar for Pistanator @Pistanator

Actions