Today I...

Was parking the car in a tight space, I'm not the worlds best parallel parker as it is. I very gently bumped the car behind me, a woman across the road starts scowling at me. I finish parking all the while holding her gaze and thinking 'fuck off you twat'. I open my door to get out...

The whole fucking thing rips off as a black cab hits it. The cab smashes in to a traffic island.

Still the woman scowls at me.

Car is fucked.

Cab is fucked.

Dov is twat.

HA HA HA

what car do you have?

Insurance Premium Goes Up.........

HA HA HA

what car did you have?

XX

Ouch.. does that mean you can claim your parking fuckup was actually caused by the cab?

I'm not sure I should be on a bike while this many fuckheads are skating across roads willy nilly..

I nearly lost my fucking arm.

Still a bit 'shaky'

Ouch.. does that mean you can claim your parking fuckup was actually caused by the cab?

Not really if you opened your door then 30 seconds later the cab driver ripped off your door then that could be down to driving without due care and attention against the cab driver, if you opened your door cab ripped it off crashed into island and can't work then your insurance will be butt fucked massively even more if he claims he can't work. Where did this happen?

I nearly lost my fucking arm.

Still a bit 'shaky'

What car do you drive? errrr used to drive?

it was her fault for giving you evils, the cow

did you dress up as a pig?

it was her fault for giving you evils, the cow

This is exactly what I think. The silly old cunt.

I am selling car doors.

It's your fault for driving in London. Who's a naughty boy then? Who's a naughty boy then?

What car do you drive? errrr used to drive?

One of these:

Still a bit 'shaky'

Aren't we all?

A Ford, the cab driver did you a favour lol

I nearly lost my fucking arm.

Still a bit 'shaky'

shit man, I'm glad you are ok
the car will be fine, you are!

If you still have your Rolex then not all is lost.

A Ford, the cab driver did you a favour lol

Neg repped.

hahah
sorry for your loss - better a cab than a cyclist though

Imagine it had've been David Cameron, on a bike, that would've been fantastic.

Imagine it had've been Kylie Minogue, on a bike, that would've been tragic.

and I would hunt you down and tear you limb for limb, once I had been down the gym for a few months..... sozz

Before collision:

After collision:

thank you Dov - i really needed a good laugh :)))

Dov you idiot, that black cab could have been a cyclist.

Sorry about the car though.