Mince Pie Appreciation

have you seen the awful looking factory in Eastleigh where they turn out that crap? Don't be convinced by the homey-cooky packaging and the glib advertising. It's processed food on an industrial scale.

Nonsense. I know for a fact that Mr Kipling home bakes all his cakes especially his Bakewell tarts.

I fucking love mince pies.
I reckon I could eat twelve or thirteen or seventeen at a sitting.
Mince pies and a big mug of tea.
Ace.

I've read about mince pies that include meat.
Proper meat, like beef or something.
Perversely, i really fancy giving that a go.
Apparently that's how they were traditionally made, donkey's years ago.
Maybe it was donkey meat.
I don't know.

Best mince pies I ever had are made by my mates wife.
She's a great cook.
After they're cooked and cooled she lifts off the lid and puts a spoonful of brandy butter inside, then keeps them in the fridge.
When you want one, she pops them in the microwave, melting the butter and warming them through.
Magic.
I once saw her fanny after she'd been to the gym.
It really got me fizzy.
I wonder if the thought of her fanny improves the taste of her mince pies?

MrsO makes the country's best mince pies.

No further debate necessary.

Are you friends with Lucifer (this is not a joke about lawyers)?

Morrsions are doing 3 for the price of 1 on mr kiplings mince pies. I'm not really a fan of me kipling stuff, but just incase.

OK its in the daily mail....... but
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1096764/Crumbs-A-single-mince-pie-takes-mile-slog-burn-off.html

Daily Mail "So, to work off a pie containing 360 calories she will need to walk 6.2km (3.8miles), claimed the scientists, from the Queensland University of Technology in Brisbane, Australia"

Can we not forget the same woman needs to consume about 2000 calories a day just to stay alive, which means she can eat her lovely mince pie and still need to gather a further 1640 calories just to maintain her core temperature and what not. I hate it when people whine about how many miles you have to walk to burn off the calories you just drank/ate. It's the stupidest argument. That's why it was in the DM, the home of stupid arguments.

Nonsense. I know for a fact that Mr Kipling home bakes all his cakes especially his Bakewell tarts.

That ain't a fookin' Bakewell Tart. That's the lamest excuse for a Bakewell tart I ever laid my eyes on. When I wore a lad, me an' me brother used to cycle to Bakewell (sometimes) and get the proper ones from the real Bakery where the mistake first happened (apparently, the baker was late for his night ride to Matlock and back and in his rush forgot to put in the raising agent (or was that how they discovered penecillin? WTF...)).
So I have had the real thing and I know every other Bakewell tart in the world is worse than hopeless.

And besides it's a Bakewell Pudding. If you'd seen a tart in Bakewell, you'd probably notice the difference. One burns calories, the other doesn't...

What would the Drunken Bakers do?

I know it doesn't look much, but let's face it, things that look great don't always deliver do they?

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Are you friends with Lucifer (this is not a joke about lawyers)?

I doubt that MrsO has ever been near Leeds let alone flashed her ladyparts in a gym there.

I know it doesn't look much, but let's face it, things that look great don't always deliver do they?

Looks like it was made in kindergarten art class

From the Mail Comments "I have a weight problem. and have tried many diets over the years,
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1096764/Crumbs-A-single-mince-pie-takes-mile-slog-burn-off.html#ixzz0YiZSu6a1"

Probably best if you lay off the pies, just a thought.

have you seen the awful looking factory in Eastleigh where they turn out that crap? Don't be convinced by the homey-cooky packaging and the glib advertising. It's processed food on an industrial scale.

I don't think i've ever been to eastleigh, am i missing out on much?

Unfortunately most food manufacturers are the same, for example if you buy hummus from a large supermarket, it all comes from the same factory, no matter what label they put on it. I prefer the ignorance however and believe that mince pies are farmed in a wonkeresque factory by little men with mince beards and foil shoes.

I have a mate who had a summer job in a Coleslaw factory in Lincolnshire. On the night shift they'd get bored and put stuff in it that really REALLY wasn't supposed to go in it. He's not eaten coleslaw for forty years.
Processed food is just part of an industrialised globalised capitalist conspiracy; Think global, by local.

Made real meat mincepies the year before last, they went down really well. Used HFW's recipe, and served hot with home-made vanilla icecream, washed down with Whiskey Mac's all round.

"Hugh’s Real Meat Mincemeat
This is a recipe from the good old days, when mincemeat was what it said it was a highly spiced condiment containing meat. This makes some people squeamish, but really there is nothing to fear. The meat is ‘invisible’. But its inclusion means that mince pies made from this mincemeat are less sweet and sickly than the usual fare, and have more body and substance. I guarantee you will love them.
The quality of the beef is important: it should be lean and free from tough sinews. I like to buy braising or chuck steak and trim and mince it myself. Make the mincemeat at least a week, ideally a month, before you use it. It also makes a great stuffing for a loin of pork.
Ingredients:
Makes 5-6 jam jars of mincemeat
500g finely minced lean beef
250g beef suet
250g currants
250g raisins
250g tart eating apples, peeled, cored and finely chopped
125g soft brown sugar
125g ground almonds
100g preserved ginger in syrup, finely chopped, plus 4 tablespoons syrup from the jar
100g mixed candied peel, finely chopped
grated zest and juice of 1 lemon
grated zest and juice of 1 orange
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
2 teaspoons ground mixed spice
250ml rum, brandy or Calvados
Put everything in a large bowl and mix thoroughly, ideally with your hands. Keep in sealed jars in a cool place for up to a month before using. Make into mince pies using your favourite sweet pastry recipe, or a bought pastry, and serve piping hot with either brandy butter or a rich egg custard laced with Calvados, rum or brandy."

I just went to Greggs (a habit I picked up while living in Newcastle) and their Viennese mince pies actually do taste bloody great.

i was up early this morning and in an unusual fit of seasonal spirit i bought 30 tesco finest mince pies for my collegues... along with two lots of brandy cream.

In the hours that have followed I have received no fewer than 3 christmas cards, all of which I can only assume have come straight from the emergency stock of blank cards that all middle-aged women carry with them at this time of year.

I confess that I want to try a McDonalds 'Festive Pie'.

Festive pie ride!

i just had some m&s pies, theyre shit, i wish kwiky was still open they used to do boss ones for 20p a pack

"They have Father Christmas in Japan?"
"Yes, except he's called "Annual Gift Man" and he lives on the Moon"

OK its in the daily mail....... but
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1096764/Crumbs-A-single-mince-pie-takes-mile-slog-burn-off.html

i couldn't believe that each mince pie i ate the other day had over 1000 kJ or 250 kcal per pie. my god, the 3 i ate is almost half my daily energy intake :O

m&s pies, theyre shit

lies!

"They have Father Christmas in Japan?"
"Yes, except he's called "Annual Gift Man" and he lives on the Moon"

Does he wear a cape? Anyone with "Man" at the end of their title must have a cape.

lies!

nope almost as shit as the odd spanish things my dads just given me
i might make my own cos ive not found any good ones this year

i have to agree the mark's ones are shit. best i found so far have been pret's. disturbing as its a faux french maccy d's

dont have things like that up north :-(
greggs, sayers waterfields etc all gone shit, used to be a boss little place by mine but its shut down
xmas is fail round here by the looks of it

tesco puff pastry ones (from the bakery, 4 for a quid rather than the boxed ones) heated up in the oven

8/10