Pedants corner

For fuck's sake, it's "cash machine".

I always thought that it was a cash point?

It's a hole in the wall...ooh no sorry Barclays have put a trademark on that.

So, no contractions yet you use abbreviations such as 'eg'?

Hypocrite.

;-/

Damn your eyes!

Exposed again...

Pigeon instead of pedant. Apropos instead of apostrophe. Latent instead of Latin. Compost instead of Repost. Build instead of sad and lonely. Current Project instead of dialing the Samaritans. Cardington St instead of Eversholt St. Shop 14 instead of Evans. Evans instead of Halfords. Halfords instead of investing in a decent pair of boltcutters. Friend request instead of Matchmaker.com.

Pow! Take that internet forum based fakenger culture!

Will, do you need a hug?

this enraged me so much when I was a bar man

'No dickhead, I will get it' I wanted to say

you guys crack me up for real. I want to go back to waitering now, so when punters say 'can I get' I can reply 'sure, carry on tosspot'

Some people say bscetti instead of spagetti. It doesn't piss me off or anything, just makes me laugh inside.

From a radio ad: 'Every day, people like you and I have accidents in the workplace'.

Does nobody actually check the scripts before they hire some dolt to talk nonsense on the radio?

'For God sakes'

'Expresso'

'your' when it should be 'you're'

'Expresso'

That's correct pronunciation actually... It translates to "Quickly Alfredo, bring me a tiny coffee!"

Very unique.

Its even better when they say bscetti.

Its even betterer when they're adults telling their kids to eat up their bsetti before it gets cold.

'Expresso'

I hate that!

I think the one that annoys me the most is when people type "I'll defiantly do that"...Will you? Or will you DEFINITELY do it?

The most annoying part is upon correcting them is when they tell you "it doesn't matter!"

"pelanty"

Surely they're just typos though?

I was all like

Surely they're just typos though?

No, defiantly isn't a typo of definitely - they're not anywhere close to being the same word!

tpyo is a typo!

could be an autocorrect issue

People who use would of instead of would have.

Just dipping back nearly four years here, to add this example.

could be an autocorrect issue

Excuses, excuses...annoys the shit out of me!

People/sites that think Northern Ireland is in Ireland when you need to select a country.

No it's in Northern Ireland, Ireland is an island, not a country/state. Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland take your pick. Not Ireland.

Oatmeal: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/literally

could be an autocorrect issue
Only if you're the kind of cunt who thinks there should be a letter "a" in definitely.
In which case, you don't deserve to have access to any manner of technology that provides autocorrect.
Or oxygen.