Any question answered...

Can anyone remember/have a link to that marriage advice joke where the guy's car doesn't start and he finds out his wife is having an affair but instead of asking what he should do about his marriage he asks what to do about his car not starting?

I can't remember the exact joke.

http://imgur.com/6icZ3
maybe?

I was thinking of the car variant of:

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Thanks, Stuart

Yeah that's the one, cheers Sanddancer. Thanks for the effort 6pt.

Ahh did not know of that other one.

Would these work with a 7 speed friction set-up?
I am aware they are 5 speed, but if they just work as friction, it should be ok... right?

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Sturmey-Archer-5-Speed-Bar-End-Gear-Shifter-/190550506375?pt=UK_sportsleisure_cycling_bikeparts_SR&hash=item2c5db1fb87#ht_500wt_1048

Where do I stand with regards to getting money back on an item which was damaged when flying?

We went abroad and on the way home our cases were soaked (from being left out on the runway) they didn't look too bad but once we got home we realised that everything was ringing wet - on our gifts all the packaging had to be binned and my wifes hair stuff was broken in the process. Normally I wouldn't bother but the straighteners cost £140 alone.

I've emailed them and just get a generic response.

Is there advice on the internet anywhere about this kind of thing?

I have an old ish Campag front hub that I need to order bearings for asap.
Any idea what the bearings might be and the best place to get them?

Where do I stand with regards to getting money back on an item which was damaged when flying?

We went abroad and on the way home our cases were soaked (from being left out on the runway) they didn't look too bad but once we got home we realised that everything was ringing wet - on our gifts all the packaging had to be binned and my wifes hair stuff was broken in the process. Normally I wouldn't bother but the straighteners cost £140 alone.

I've emailed them and just get a generic response.

Is there advice on the internet anywhere about this kind of thing?

I had a bike damaged on a flight and got nowhere with the airline. Travel insurance would be your best if you have it (I didn't).

Had insurance ... provided by the travel company we went with!

Then use it Spenceey!

is there any point in having 2 pairs of clipless shoes?

I have 4

If you have 4 feet.

8 feet?

I have an old ish Campag front hub that I need to order bearings for asap.
Any idea what the bearings might be and the best place to get them?

most old cup and cone front hubs take ten 3/16" size bearings on each side.

I get my bearings from https://simplybearings.co.uk, and use the loose Grade 10 Hardened AISI 52100 Chrome Steel Ball Bearings for repacking my hubs.

There's info on the site regarding bearing grades - roundness, hardness corossion ressistance and magnetism - under "loose ball dearings" link > "ball grades" tab. So you can make a decision on what you need if you want to choose a different type to the ones I use.

is there any point in having 2 pairs of clipless shoes?

No, that's nowhere near enough.

Where can I buy good quality discounted easter eggs? I want some fucking chocolate. None of this Snickers or Maltesers stuff - I'm talking that good shit from Bettys.

Creame eggs not good enough for you?

Walking in here like he owns the place, demanding chocolate, I don't know, the cheek of some people.

I'm just going to leave this here:

What can I use instead of bacon to give a smoky flavour for a veggie disk?

^^^ Frankly, no.

I've had about 7 hours sleep since Saturday night. I had a costa sandwich for lunch on Sunday in between work, the same on Monday. Today and yesterday I stayed home as I didn't have time to travel TO work so I had toast and coffee. Now I want some chocolate more than I've wanted anything. Ever. And a massive roast dinner.

And some skittles.

What can I use instead of bacon to give a smoky flavour for a veggie disk?

I dunno what a veggie disk is but the answer is probably smoked paprika.

What can I use instead of bacon to give a smoky flavour for a veggie disk?

Smoke.