Dave Yates framebuilding course

Of course you could offer her a choice.
a) you go on a 5 day frame building course
b) you kill her parents, chop them up and bake them in a pie, then make her eat the pie, singing this.

You don't have a wife and children.

well naturally!

Thought it sound like a 9 to 5 course, the website didn't says how many hours a day so I can't really tell, I'm always talking bollocks.

£900 is a lots, you could easily take the missus out on a weekend holiday for that much, like Coopenhagen for instance.

Hmm, (without knowing your Mrs, or the dynamics of your relationship, etc.) I'd approach this sensitively. If she really doesn't like the idea of you doing the course, then no amount of contrary logic, and people telling her it's 'not really a big deal' is going to change that, and a lot of the arguments people have put forth will come across as sidestepping her feelings, and suggesting that they don't really matter.

My only suggestion (as ever) is that you compromise somehow - maybe make this a long-term rather than a short-term goal; i.e. save up for the course over a couple of years (don't they have a waiting list anyway?), and give yourself time to schedule it so that it coincides with your kid going off to camp, or stay with grandparents, and your partner going off to do something she likes, so that you all get a bit of 'me' time.

The way you put it, it sounds like you'll be disappointed if you don't go on the course, and she'll be disappointed if you do, so the best you can hope for is some sort of splitting-the-difference arrangement, where you're both only a little bit disappointed - and hopefully this will be offset by the warm glow of successful negotiation.

The way you put it, it sounds like you'll be disappointed if you don't go on the course, and she'll be disappointed if you do, so the best you can hope for is some sort of splitting-the-difference arrangement, where you're both only a little bit disappointed
Happiness is realising the full potential of the moments between your previous disappoinment and the one which is sure to follow it further down the road.

Emilia
Yes there is indeed a (long) waiting list... its a way off but i need to decide whether I take the place offered ...

Your assessment is great: I like the sound of the 'warm glow of successful negotiation'. I'll keep that goal in mind and tread carefully.

Thanks.

Woah! No-one said anything about pithy gobbets of philosophy. And I like it, Em.

Come to souths again this week. Both you Ems.

Compromise....hmmm...

How about getting Dave Yates to build the frame for you (defeats the purpose of the thread but that's compromise for you)? You get the frame. Wife and kids get your time and attention. Money left over gets spent on wife and kids and family activities/sending the missus away doing what she wants to do whilst you babysit?

Have you contacted in frame builders in the London area? If you're gonna take time off work to do it at least you could go home in the evenings and resume normal parental duties?

Come to souths again this week. Both you Ems.

I wasn't going to, but last Monday, and yesterday's cake thing, have reminded me how much I miss the C&H. I'll take very little persuasion.

Woah! No-one said anything about pithy gobbets of philosophy. And I like it, Em.
I aim to displease.

No can do tonight though dude (No coin and even less time) I should be along in a week or two.

I think Emilia is on the money. Not wishing to generalise, but I suspect your wife would, above all things, appreciate being drawn into the decision making process. It sounds all macho to say "just do it" but you will have to live with the consequences. Also, maybe you can offer either the spa break with her friends, or equally a trip away as a family? The spa break may be just the ticket, but it could be construed as you being reluctant to spend time with her. Maybe emphasise how proud you are of your family, and how you want to head away as a team, for some quality time.

Good luck, and well done for being brave enough as to ask for advice.

£900 is a lots, you could easily take the missus out on a weekend holiday for that much, like Coopenhagen for instance.

Pah, it doesn't even get you a grand-a-night hooker.
Well, not for a whole night at any rate.

just tell her you are going to work.....in your ' post' production job....think about it....technically you arent lying....

do it.

get a new misses, sorted

Pah, it doesn't even get you a grand-a-night hooker.
Well, not for a whole night at any rate.

What do you reckon she's charging for, oooo, say three and a half minutes?

Me, I'd go for the frame. It'll be like herpes... I mean, that's gonna stay with you for life.

But you aren't getting a place until 2011 anyway - 2010 is fully booked up. You got LOADSA time to suck up to the good lady.

I REALLY want to do a course like this. I'm with you building the bike. It's not like one week away from the family TWO years from now, makes you a bad husband/father.

My missus doesn't do any of that shit. She just works like a dawg.

You've just hit the nail on the head. She also needs to get out and do stuff that's arbitrary to another, just for the hell of it. Be creative, indulge in a break, do something that takes her away from the grind. Isn't this partially why you want to do the DY course? Talk to her more about the importance of enjoying yourself as an individual within a relationship, it's healthy, healthy for the long-term prospects of the relationship because ultimately it gives the individual a greater understanding of themselves and thus gives them more sensitivity toward their partner. Do the DY course just because you want to fella. And encourage her to do something for herself.

Hope it works out positively :)

There is your answer Skully, tell her Ed thinks it is not too much of a problem, Ed can tell your other half what is and what isn't a problem.

Made me laugh out loud.

I'm always talking bollocks.

Also worth quoting for posterity. :)

He has some odd ideas about the relative merits of different tubing mind you.

Never mind Steff. It has to be Campagnolo. Don't listen to him and get that Shimano stuff.

Second having a look around for similar classes nearer to home (local builder / night school?). I do an acoustic guitar building course evening classes which ends up being about £10 a week (plus materials). I find it incredibly relaxing, you spend a few hours with non of the usual problems / thoughts going through your head - very cleansing.

From what I remember the Dave Yates is pretty expensive - you'll get the bike quicker (five days) because of his experience and jigs - but it won't be a Dave Yates frame, yet will cost more.

Your brazes are not going to be any better because it's Dave teaching you as opposed to a metalwork tutor - and I'm sure you could do a good job on your own for less money or spreading it out, also a couple of hours once a week is an easy sell.

I know that most people don't build more than one bike, but I'd always think of Dave's course as an introduction into how you'll be able to eventually build you own bike totally from scratch - why not just do that?

£900 is a lots, you could easily take the missus out on a weekend holiday for that much, like Coopenhagen for instance.

Why Coopenhagen Ed? What about Bruges, or malmö or even Bilbaooo?

It's just an example of going somewhere really nice without paying top dollas, although I do rate Bruges highly.

What have you done to your avatar?!?! Bring back the old one!

You talkin' to me?!