Owning your own home

This is the original text sent at 7:50am on sat morning. Please don't quote as I may want to remove.

removed

I would say you are acting totally within your rights, but being a bit of a cunt.
If I was in your shoes, for the sake of keeping good relations with the neighbor, would let them have access, as long as i had a guarantee garden/path would be left in the same state.

I would reiterate to them that it was the assumptions made and lack of notice given that pissed you off.

I have a foot in either camp. I don't mind them having access, it was the hard sell on the doorstep. I'm thinking of going round with a list of what I would need to make a compromise. I can't help but feel that if the text was:

Hi dst, we are thinking of getting our garden done in 2 weeks and access through your garden would be a real help. Would that be something you'd consider? If so, can we discuss detail and how it'd work. If not, no problem.

I'd have gone over, sorted out the details and we'd all be happy.

You may need their goodwill at a later date- personally I'd go over with the compromises you want sorted out in your head. Talk to them with the husband there, if poss, and explain that you've real concerns about security- do they know the builders personally? will they be there to supervise?- and the infringement on your privacy- it's a private garden, and you'd like to keep it that way.

And if they give you grief, they can go to hell, padlock the gate.

It seems the reasonable thing to do. I think I'l have to just get over myself and sort it out.

i think you're being harsh. maybe the gardener could do them a good deal at short notice and they are just really keen to have it done? if you get along well with them and they said they will make sure you're not too inconvenienced and that any damage will be sorted then to me it sounds like you're just being a bit difficult. if it was my neighbour i'd let them.

I think you should let them use it as mentioned above. Perhaps just for your own piece of mind just take some pics of your garden and the passage way so if any damage is done you can ask for repair.

Better to maintain a good relationship with them, than ruin over this.

If they want access then they need to define what access is needed, I don't want 5 to 10 people trampling my garden for 7 days. I need details before I commit to anything. They also need to answer the question of who is liable if someone is injured on my land.

Agreed :)
Generally contractors are required to submit 'method statements' for works like this, which should cover all your questions.

As above. The text doesn't really read anywhere near as presumptively to me as I expected from your preamble either...

Tell me more of this method statement? I have never heard of it before.

Let them use it. Sounds like you're over thinking it a bit.

ha, I'm fully aware I've seen my arse. It's the doorstepping that has done it.

I reckon I'm thinking at the right level, if you don't define these things up front then you are leaving yourself open to real problems.

I have offered them a compromise and I don't think they are going to take me up on it. The question is do I drive the compromise or just leave them to it?

Just cross your fingers and hope that you never need their consent for anything!

get over yourself mate and give them the access. no one is going to get injured in walking across your back garden. sorry if i'm coming across blase about it all...

this part particularly made me laugh

They also need to answer the question of who is liable if someone is injured on my land.

i'm now imaging you having a big sprawling estate....

Let them do it you big meanie. Her text was quite nice I thought. Just make it clear that if they damage anything they have to pay. Maybe take some before photos.

Who knows when you might need their help...

Be nice to them and you may get a free bottle of wine. If you don't, however, you're well within your rights to shit on their lawn.

Just to recap, I would like to give them access but would like it defined what is going to happen upfront. I know how one week can turn into 2. I have said to the them if they can come back with details we can discuss it further. My aim is to maintain the relationship we have.

Also I do think that liability is an issue.

I would be more worried about damage to your garden and getting the neighbor to agree to any costs to repair damage.

I am. The liability thing was called out as being a none issue. I regard it as a small issue I'd want to discuss

I think you're being totally reasonable, unfortunately your neighbour has raised it in the wrong way so now you're on the back foot and will come across as an ass if you don't agree.

Frustrating, and not the right way for it to be handled but not your fault.

I had something similar when an upstairs neighbour had builders remove their bay window by knocking it with hammers til it all fell into our garden. Needless to say they didn't mention this would be happening. They didn't have my permission for access so they had something of a mission to clean up the mess. I guess in your case at least they've told you in advance even if its not an ideal situation. If managed right it could improve relations with the neighbours but that does need them to make the effort too. Good luck.

I'd try and keep on good terms with your neighbour, from a selfish point of view. It's not nice hating your neighbours, and them hating you.

Dig a massive hole in your garden, fill it with water and a gold fish, go on holiday for a month.

Make sure the contractor's method statement mentions a bridge and a fishing rod.