Owning your own home

After 5yrs of failure I sacked mine off.

See above ^

Seriously don't bother. This isn't hyperbole, you're just going to waste your time. You could always try out those wild. Seed mats. More expensive than seeds, but less than turf.

Personally I would choose a mix of those lawn substitutes like Irish moss.

I still can't let go of the fact that my neighbour cut down an amazing blossoming Cherry and burnt it, still damp, in their fucking wood burner just to spite us

You could always try out those wild. Seed mats.

That's what I did, still failed. The lettuce came in the mat. This stuff:
https://www.turfonline.co.uk/product/birds-and-bees/

The lettuce wasn't really the problem though, a lot of the grass died and the flowers didn't really appear to the degree expected. I think shade might have been an issue as it was worse in the shady bits of the garden.

@Grumpy_Git if I was doing it again I would just let grass grow long from turf or seed then use plug plants to populate it with more variety. But that's quite a lot of work.

Given your limited budget I'd look at a nice selection of indigenous grasses as seed then let it grow.

Pure cuntery

Any recommendations for a company selling "Perfect Fit" blinds or are they all just the same product?

At one point it grew a lettuce.

10/10

I don't really like this tree, but I like the house whose garden it's at the bottom of.

Generally I love trees and I would un-pave the front garden and plant a hedge and some grass in it.

But would it make me a terrible person to get rid of this giant tree which blocks the sun and would stop me building a shed at the bottom of the garden?

And would I be allowed to chop it down if I bought the house? There's no TPO and it's not in a conservation area.

Chop it down, cut it up, soak it in varnish, give it a lick of paint and then chuck it in your wood burner. Job done.

Must be like 50+ years old? Would a trim not suffice?

There's no TPO and it's not in a conservation area.

Other than the scorn of neighbours and online buddies you're free to do as you wish with that tree.

Isn’t it just a fuck off big conifer? Cut it down and plant something nice like an acer/maple.doubt that tree is doing all that much good to anyone

My Local Council are doing a free thermal imaging scheme, got someone booked to come round next week and tell us how shit our old house is.

I wonder what neighbours would think? We'd definitely want to talk to them first and sound it out.

But as @Tenderloin says, it's just a conifer I think.

Yeah what tenderloin said. There are very few situations where you should keep a conifer.

Would a trim not suffice?

That's the problem isn't it. If you leave them, they get too big. If you touch them, they look shit.

I'd probably plant a couple of smaller trees - one of which would be a nice apple tree.

Conifers are horrible things that strip all nutrients from the soil and make it difficult to get anything else growing. That said, it's a pretty majestic specimen that probably has plenty of birds nests in it. Maybe put the shed against the left hand fence?

https://wildseed.co.uk/

I’d be careful canvassing too much opinion, if people tell you they love it and then you chop it down how will that be received?

Probably better to lead with ‘im chopping it down for these reasons and here’s why the alternative will be better’ if that involves planting more trees and greenery can’t see why that would be taken badly

Also idk how big of a shed you're building, but from the photo it looks like the garden is West facing. So if there is space keeping the shed on the north side will leave a better bed on the south side. Blueberries like acid soil so they might be able to grow where the conifer has been.

I would un-pave the front garden

I desperately want to do this; previous owners block paved front and backyard, your garden looks decent, have you left East Ham?

Just packed the car and heading back to London to move into our same (new) house

conifers and leylandi don’t like being cut back hard. So take it out.

Neighbours will be mostly happy, just don’t put something shitter there

We're leaving - moving to Oxford.

It's not our garden yet so I can't do too much to it yet without raising suspicion. We will probably view the house and make an offer before we start telling neighbours about what we're going to do.

But yes I'd definitely be more keen on some fruit or blossomy trees. Maybe not apple because they make mowing the lawn a nightmare.

Nice! Will feel great to be able to be back in. Is the work officially finished or still some way to go + snagging?

Plant apple trees but tarmac lawn? Problem solved?

IME, most neighbours are happy to see the back of leylandii. Total light blocker all year round, can't be trimmed (easily or extensively), drop their needles leaving a brown matt of crap all year, nothing else can grow under them. Get rid. It's only going to get bigger and be even more of a problem in future.

You'd have about 30% more sky in that picture.