Owning your own home

Comment about kids wasn't entirely flippant. Unless there is lots of common land, being in a small village with kids would feel oppressive imo.

Why, out of interest? My concern is we'd get bored, but that a bawling infant would mean we'd be too tired to be bored.

i grew up in the sticks and always resented not being able to walk to a shop. luckily there was a walkable train into manchester, but the service was shit. by the time your kid's 10, you'll end up being a taxi

Will you be able to meet other newb parents locally?

As with @fizzy.bleach my concern would be as the kid growing up there.

There's a cultural reference I wasn't expecting to see on this forum...

Is zeros still going, I wonder? Not that I'd like to relive my youth by going

I can happily state that I have no idea - It's decades since I went, and about as long ago that I lived in a small village with a pub and no shop, 10 minutes from Hertford.

I'll probably wait until the kids are older before living somewhere like that again.

Having lots of activities and things we can do within a walkable distance in London is good. Parks, playgrounds, libraries, swimming pool, soft play, book shops, toy shops, friends houses etc. It may be that you can drive to do all those things very easily. Getting out of the house easily without the need for a car journey feels crucial for my sanity with kids.

I think living in a village that is walkable with a buggy, has nice amenities, has some swings and a playground, a stream to paddle in, lots of footpaths, nice woodland, would be great. I lived in a village like that until I was five or six.

Visiting where both sets of grandparents now live (one small town, one very remote village), I feel like we run out of things to do with kids very quickly and would go mad after more than a week there.

One last thought - my impression of a lot of small villages is that their population is more elderly retirees. I would also want other kids and parents around.

btw I'd avoid Smeg as a brand. Maybe their fridges are ok but what I've seen if their other stuff doesn't warrant the cost.

Yes. Why do you want to move?

I like the idea of it, and not many other houses around here are appealing.

Everything t-v said.

At least if you have older kids you just have to drive them to friends houses/local town centre and they can entertain themselves on their phone the rest of the time so you don't always have to listen to them bitch about living in the middle of nowhere.

Ymmv but mini-H was a nightmare infant and just having a park and decent size tesco within walking distance helped keep my OH semi-sane. Had we been in the middle of nowhere I dread to think how appalling life would have been. Until you have a baby it's hard to understand how crushingly lonely it can be sometimes.

Where we live is pretty clicky / people have poor social skills and TBH in the early days I wondered if living somewhere like St Albans would have been better as there are SO MANY families which means there are multiple baby classes pretty much every hour of every day, which would have made making baby friends that much easier.

Imo you go to live in those sorts of places many to get away from people. Fully detached. Space to work on your cars, motorbikes, model train set, etc. You can always move if your circumstances change.

tl;dr babies are dicks

There must be advantages of being a kid out in the sticks. As a city kid I always envy.

Personally i will never leave a city so sadly my kid is stuck with it too.

Well as someone who grew up in the sticks and have returned here with one, there are definite advantages.

My 4 year spends her time wandering around the fields, often just with her dogs for company, this week she is spending a week camping in the field next door with all her cousins. She has a pretty good life I think, and loves to explore and also mess around in the garden. There is no way she would have such an outdoor life if we still lived in the city.

You do have to get used to the fact that you have to travel to do things, but that just takes a little more planning, and makes things more of an event when she does go out places.

You can get a better T-shaped extractor (but black-fronted), induction hob and equivalent oven for MUCH less money at Howdens.

You have your own farm don't you, with lots of land? I think that would be a very different experience.

There must be advantages of being a kid out in the sticks.

There are, obviously. But there are also many negatives. There is a much smaller chance of finding someone your own age that you get on with. And those that are around, you're lumped with anyway, regardless of how much of a dick/bully they are (ask me about my many internalised issues - link in bio). So, unless you massively luck out with BFFs, you/your kids need to be good at entertaining yourself. In the proper sticks, that's not too bad as you can fuck off into the woods/fields for hours with minimal risk. Suburbia/village/town life, you still have stranger danger, traffic etc. to worry about.

thanks for all the replies all i just mainly wondering as this is the house we are looking at buying so wanted to know a bit more, rather than wanting to buy similar

We do, so yes that certainly helps.

However when I grew up we didn't, I lived in a small hamlet, 20 houses, 2 pubs, no shops. There were plenty of frustrating moments when I couldn't do what I wanted, but there were also some great experiences which I wouldn't have got otherwise.

In the country, when they get to teenage there's a reliable source of ket from the vets. Probably.

Decided to take the plunge into home ownership. We have put in an offer for a place in Forest Hill. Can anyone recommend a decent surveyor in the area?
Also perhaps a noob question but the EA has asked for an AIP to qualify our offer. While we have an AIP, it is for an amount almost as high as our offer so the other side can easily see that we could go higher. Should I just get a new AIP or is it worth showing that you some room to go higher (we went in a bit less than 5% below asking so expect to be told to go higher)?

As was mentioned to me above, the AIP might show you could afford more, but how that's the seller's business I don't know.

If I was buying a second hand car, for £500, and the seller said, "nah, £750, I know you have more than £500". I'd tell them to get fucked.

To me, being able to afford more doesn't mean you should pay more. Offer what you are willing to pay/what you think it is worth. Having a larger AIP should just make you more "proceedable"as buyers.

agree with stevo, we showed our AIP to the place we offered on and we can borrow more than the full listing price i think thats just smart spending..?

Same - don’t worry about the aip amount - actually good to have lots of room as to the seller it makes you a strong bet.