Owning your own home

No evidence of any dpc

Ground levels at rear are less than 150mm below assumed dpc height "ground levels should be lowered accordingly and this can be achieved by excavating a trench and backfilling with shingle" - wtf does that mean, I need to move the floor!?

Lower the level outside / dig a French drain.

His old is the property?

Nothing there seems too bad, and a lot will be fixed by the same things.

Internally, chimney stacks have no ventilation

Blocked fireplaces? Reinstate them.

Leaking gutter joints

Standard.

Rotting timber behind gutters

Caused by above.

Splits to flashing above porch

Bit of mastic might sort that until you can get it redone.

Possibility missing planning permission and certificates to an internal chimney stack removal

I would be concerned about this if there are unsupported chimney stacks above.

No evidence of any dpc

There may not be one.

Ground levels at rear are less than 150mm below assumed dpc height "ground levels should be lowered accordingly and this can be achieved by excavating a trench and backfilling with shingle" - wtf does that mean, I need to move the floor!?

No, lower the ground outside the house by digging a trench. Of course if there is no DPC then this is needless.

Rendering extends below dpc level and should be cut back above dpc level

Is this why they can't find a DPC or isn't there one? If there isn't one this will achieve nothing.

No extractor fans in either bathrooms or kitchen

You need something in the bathroom. And a cooker hood in the kitchen.

No trickle vents in 2/3 bedrooms

Are these double glazed? is there damp? if so fit some. If not, don't bother.

Condensation noted around windows indicated cold bridging is occuring
Windows do this.

No sub floor ventilation at rear

An air brick below the floor level will fix this.

Some rot on timber sub frames of windows

If it's not too bad it can be cut out and replaced, or even stabilised with epoxy and filled

Something about open hopper heads and how they are bad and should be replaced with sealed fittings

I don't have a clue what this is.

Something about iron soil and vent pipes and they need a cowl

Not really sure why

The garage has fucked roof and the door and windows need replacing, gutters too

Standard. It's probably fine for a year or two.

Fences on side and back are fucked and need replacing

Not a problem unless you don't own them and the owners don't want to fix them.

Driveway paving is cracked and missing in places

OH JESUS NO! RUN AWAY!

If it's any consolation we need to replace all the windows on our 30s gaff as well. Maybe get a damp expert in for a 2nd opinion. Either way I'd seriously consider dropping your offer all things considered.

No, lower the ground outside the house by digging a trench. Of course if there is no DPC then this is needless.

Oh I really am an idiot. I thought it was suggesting raise the floor inside the house.

I'll grab my coat.

A lot of that is just old house shit

The DPC stuff is bollox, mainly unless there is evidence of damp but that could be explained by...

If they’ve fitted modern glazing without trickle vents it’s no surprise there is condensation

Have fun :)

some pigeons are roosting on adjoining properties roof.

That's a thorough survey.

Will someone like Collier Stevens be more thorough than Halifax on a Homebuyers survey for a ex-council leasehold flat?

Yes...but it’s a flat. They aren’t going to find structural issues, it will return fiddly little things that a close inspection by yourself will flag up.

Pro tip - find out when the last time the block underwent major works.

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Ha! They are pretty thorough! Wonder why they mention that? Maybe because someone is feeding them and food on ground and rats mice etc? Pigeon shit on the roof? Smell?

I think the surveyor just has a deep deep hatred of pigeons.

Needs turning into a meme. I reckon they're right to flag though, pigeons can actually be quite noisy when they roost and shit everywhere. I would be trying to work out why they are there.

Yeah they are already annoying me and I'm not even there yet.

I wonder how they might react to their new neighbour turning up and sniping them off with an air rifle.

(Not actually being serious)

Mail redirects, worth it? Looking at £130 for a year for gf & I.

Three months, worth it. Just remember to update your details for the mail that is being redirected.

Why not, pan fried pigeon breast is delicious.

Yeah, just 3 months. The odd monthly statement will slip through the net and you'll pick up any quarterly statements you forgot all about

If you were married, it would cost half as much :)
Definitely worth it if only to receive pension statements from jobs you'd long since forgotten about!

I've no idea if they're normally good but we're still getting lots of post for the people we bought our house from even though they've paid for redirection.

Had same on house we get keys of on Friday. Sounded like it was basically held up with dust. Roof fucked, damp everywhere, probably lead piping, rotten floors, lead in paint work, aspestos? Yeah why not?

Taken the opinion that some might be true, likely most not.

Guess I’ll find out on Friday..or in 30 years with chest problems

Need to update my will, if I can find it, and GF needs to sort one out for the first time.
Any recommendations for where/who can do this?

That's something a parent should know. Have you tried asking in there?

Chimney breast removal and building regs sign off. The house we are purchasing has had one of the chimney breast from the ground floor to 1st floor only removed (on party wall). This was done as part of a bigger job where they also knocked down a load bearing wall and put in supporting steels to open out the living space. My surveyor recommended I get the build reg certificates for both those jobs, however the chimney breast removal doesn't have one unfortunately.

What's my best course of action now, I asked the EA to ask sellers how the breast (if at all) has been supported etc. I've also asked my solicitor to formally ask for regs sign off (but I know it doesn't exist). Do I try and get them to do a retrospective sign off? Or if it is a cowboy job, get quote for putting it right and negotiate that off the price and then doing the job myself? How much trouble am I asking for? I'm guessing it has been supported properly as they bothered to do the load bearing wall properly and signed off. Just seems a bit odd they didn't sign off the chimney too.

Anyone using Engie for gas & elec? Coming out £15/month cheaper than Ovo with 100% renewable energy for us via USwitch and I just want to check if anyone's had any bad experiences, online it seems like they're doing OK.