Reprographics - The repro man blog

Really sorry for no new post today.
I'm on a secret mission.
I can say no more.

#vaguebooking

I'm often too specific.
This week I am obtuse.

Finally! A new post!
https://generallucifer.wordpress.com/2015/10/23/164-the-man-who-is-going-to-die/

Brilliant as ever GL. An excellent character study, and just the right amount of morbidity for a Friday morning! Just two little corrections:

In the Blue Eyes para, 'complement' should be 'compliment'.

And in the Torture Pictures para, 'asked him what the fuck' should be 'asked him why the fuck'.

I asked him what the fuck he had such horrible photographs.

Either a why or a for.

Also my eyes are hurting from wincing and my hand hurts from the rigid dread of scrolling down the page but I can't stop myself.

I think if I'd saved this for a shitbreak this story could have turned a 7 coffee vindaloo shitriver into 10 scotch egg bowling ball constipation.

10/10 with extra credit for visceral dread.

A bit close to home this week (went to a funeral) but excellent story!

I' do corrections soon - I had to hurry coz the missus wanted to drag me to IKEA! Cheers for all edits & appreciation!

Fills me with a dreadfully inevitable feeling of mortality. Excellent.

I had to hurry coz the missus wanted to drag me to IKEA!

So apt. My condolences.

I survived IKEA.
I did not get a hot dog.
I did not by something plastic called NAKKAKRAKKA.
I saw a couch I quite liked.

Cheers, @The_Seldom_Killer, sir - I almost want to publish your descriptions of what my stories put you through!

TIDAFORS - the king of IKEA sofas.

Also, sounds a bit like "'tato force", which in my accent works well.

Thank you luci. Partly inspired by you I have recently tried talcum powder application for the first time ever. Baby powder in fact.

It's a revelation.

Lovely work. I missed it on Friday due to no work so I'm hoping for two in two days.....

Yup, talced testicles are pure joy, @mashton. Mine, yours, anyone's. Like good bread dough.

I'll see what I can do, @Thoma!

Its FRIDAY!

New post day.

Here's Tufty Club.

Hope you like.

Get 'your' own...

;)

Sigh

Great read.

I had to kill a sparrow on Sunday. The kids cat had injured it. I'd literally just woken up too.

I figured it would be quick and humane to lob its head off With a Sharp hand Axe. Except both its body and head twitched and moved around for ages, after theyd been separated. Which alerted the cat. Who sees the sparrow head as the bestest toy ever. I'm in a shitty mood, and apalled at the cat. So start flicking it away from the corpse With the blunt end of the Axe. Then the kids come out.

'DAD, DONT CHOP ROCKY'S HEAD OFF!'

I can't help but think that at some point you missed your calling Lucy. You should have become a poultry farmer instead. You seem to have this uncanny ability for having all your chickens coming home to roost.

You should have chopped Rocky's head off.

That'd learn 'em.

I recently split up With the kids mum. So the neighbours get noisey when then see me pop around.

With any Luck the noisey bastards think I popped over on a Sunday morning.
Chopped the ex's cats head off.
Then casually drove off to 'play festival' With the kids.

Awesome. Thanks Luci!

Now, if we could just make it daily, that would be great.