Reprographics - The repro man blog

Well that's ok then. As long as the family aren't left wanting at the weekends.
I'm adding bits all the time to the little lump of earwax next to the bed. Such is the limit of my creativity...

Ha! Sculpt it into something lovely, like a giant earwax glitter ball!

Anyone up for a bit of Fucking Amazing Dave?

https://generallucifer.wordpress.com/2015/06/12/154-shorn-shank-redemption/

That had me giggling uncontrollably in the office. He's a thinker is Dave.

I want him to do a series like 'Idiot Abroad'.

Telly Gold.

I see this champion swordsman giving it to this lass big style

love that!

One typo..."at waste height"

The picture at the bottom was quite a shock as I was just scrolling as I read!!

I think part of the enjoyment of your stories is reading them at my desk and giggling like a nutter to myself!

"My cock and bollocks looked like a homeless Brian May" is one of the best things I've ever heard.

Brilliant!
'They can keep their brass' tho....

Brilliant, love that one.

A few typos:

"They can keep they’re brass" - should be "their".
"i look around, hope no-one is watching." - capitalise the "i"
"Alls well that ends well, eh" - needs an apostrophe in "Alls"

I love the idea that he has a finger tip reserved specifically for clicking on big arses. Gold.

Doh! That's what I get for rushing...

I'll go clean up. Cheers folks!

Sorted! (For now)

I'm in tears. Mrs b&d has just asked what's wrong with me (she actually asked if West Ham had signed someone terrible).

I just said "Lucifer..." and carried on weeping.

She groaned.

Don't blame me, blame Dave!

Truck full of tree cunts sniggering at 'champion swordsman' right now..

Are you back on the trees?? What happened to glitter balls?

I have the attention span of a 6week old labradoodle....
Being self-employed allows me to flit between trees and sparkly things as I see fit. Both have seasonal highs and lows so to keep the diary full all year I gotta do whatever.

More funny fuckers on the trees as well which can brighten my day.

Crying in the office..!

Oh dear, did you have the chicken for lunch?

“Right. Imagine you’re in the park an’ Brian May comes up beggin’ for a quid for a cuppa but he were really gonna spend it on Spesh Brew, yeah?”
“Where are we going with this, Dave?”
“Well, my cock and bollocks looked like a homeless Brian May.”
“Oh.”

cracking !!!

very very funny.....always get excited to hear about fucking amazing dave

I'm going to have to read this one to the other half tonight. Left me in bits reading it myself.

I wish I could tell the lad how much he's appreciated. That's what's hardest - only three workmates know about these stories. Bernie, Tommy and a lad called Neil. Can't risk telling anyone else!

Rude. Always good. Does ian mac millen read your filth Luci? I wanna hear you doing the whole range of the printroom crowd on bbc radio 3 the verb.
Be amazing. Let's get it sorted via twatter

@generallucifer Fuck me the more I think It over the better it gets. You and ian in Yorkie accent voicing say a mini story of intense ginger bloke amazing dave with soulless boss done by some soft southern shite

I've had the tiniest corespondence with Ian McMillan - nowt of note! He's bigger than folk give credit for, that rare thing, a career poet. I really want to move into spoken word and I get a lot of support that I should go that way. I'll work on it, but i've got a lot of personal crap going on, stuff I might cover in later posts. I'd really love to do an Edinburgh Fringe, spoken stories, but I'll have to see.
Cheers for reading!