Scally Quandary

There is a large outdoor bike park at work stretching 2 sides of the main building, luck would have it I sit right next to one side; window view, ground floor, pretty shit free coffee

Behind the office is a large estate, well about 3 if I am honest.

In the last year I have been sat here I have seen 2 groups of lads (aged around 14 to 17) stroll up past the bikes and check for Quick release/poorly tied up bikes, removable parts etc – it’s once every couple of weeks and every now and again they get away with something (wheel, saddle, bike)

Security is called and they amble rounds, the kids act up and walk off. they do nothing with the CCTV and it’s “too much hassle”

Now my quandary:
These groups turn up in broad day light, in front of teams of people and act like the own the place. They don’t fear the security (they are here to check passes) the bike parts are small but they do upset the people who get he surprise when they go to leave the office.
One or two of the kids have tiny cold eyes that scowl like those of mass murderers and an arrogance that irritates me, but this could be their downfall.
Whilst jumping on and pulling at peoples bikes, employees walk past them and both groups ignore each other!!
You could get within meters of them before they even bothered to notice… and I want to…. the only thing stopping me is the career limitations that could come into place when the CCTV footage of my trying to kick a teenage kid through 4 inch toughened glass in broad day light, gets onto youtube.

Am I being unjust? Am I worrying too much about teaching these kids a lesson? Will they be thankful in time and will I be lauded a hero in the office??

You may get stabbed, fighting off a group of 5 or so kids isn't going to be fun.
Can you not rig up your own surveillance then force the cops/management to take responsibility?

you can get quite close to them you say?

Oh and some news letters around the office to get people to better secure their equipment.

That sucks. Sounds like an ideal place for a shotgun and rocking chair.

Can you not rig up your own surveillance then force the cops/management to take responsibility?

^^ That's a good idea too

Hosepipe? Bucket of water? Every time they come to nick a bike under your window, drench them.

This sounds like the perfect opportunity to get a water pistol full of wee.

Or time to booby trap a bike?

...from your window.

We should talk to the security guys about this. The chap in my building (next to Greasy's) is really friendly and helpful. he also seems to be very matey with the local PCOs who are always in reception, shooting the breeze about security related matters.

He might help?

Tackling them yourself, I suspect (regretfully) will turn out worse for you than it will for them.

Raising the awareness of your colleagues, documenting each and every incident, and reporting everything to management may well embarass on-site security into action.

If your reports fail, try phoning up your MD and saying you've just seen some little scrote keying their car...

We should talk to the security guys about this. The chap in my building (next to Greasy's) is really friendly and helpful. he also seems to be very matey with the local PCOs who are always in reception, shooting the breeze about security related matters.

He might help?

Not a bad idea, PCOs would be ones to get but they move on quickly - a kid with bolt croppers just walked off about 20 mis ago)
I might get security to put out an email explaining to people how to correctly lock up bikes.

Mask: I'd only attack if there were ~ 3 (that and the element of surprise) i might even carry out a few practice attacks on Mashton when i see him make his way into work with a coffee. get my shoalin eye in

Sadly the windows are closed shut, i could make it back out the foyet and out the doors in about 40 seconds (if they revolve in my favour and my knee isn't playing up)

It would have to be a booby trap.. an unlocked swagger bike perhaps?? or photos and time logs. not very vigilanty is it? i wanted to dress in tight outfits and kick ass!

It is difficult to know what to do. I have seen a few people nosing around the stands on Noel St in soho from time to time. I just make a show of watching them really obviously, tends to spook them. But I think in your case these guys don't give a fuck at all.

Maybe you could just throw stones at them?! No need to get up close and stabby-able.

i might even carry out a few practice attacks on Mashton. get my shoalin eye in

This doesnt read well......not well at all...

Are these bikes owned by employees of the place you work? If so I'd try talking to someone at your work and see if something could be done, maybe someone could talk to whoever is in charge of security.

Sitting at the window with a paintball/pellet/shotgun is another option.

We have a similar problem at our work, with a bunch of scallys - who have definitely been responsible for thefts, they are kids, so they are hard to tackle physically, we have a small but determind group of colleagues who keep watch when they can, we've gone down the path of warning other riders to lock up their bikes properly (signs etc) taking photos of them (they hate that) and getting the local police involved - they eventually took interest - but it took some badgering of the local estate landlords before, this is also one of the reasons I got my Xena alarm lock so I could make the little fuckers ears bleed and draw as much attention to them as possible.

This doesnt read well......not well at all...

ha ha ha good spot. thats a little more than Mashton needed to wake him up in the morning

It is difficult to know what to do. I have seen a few people nosing around the stands on Noel St in soho from time to time. I just make a show of watching them really obviously, tends to spook them. But I think in your case these guys don't give a fuck at all.

Maybe you could just throw stones at them?! No need to get up close and stabby-able.

the old "I am watching you" stare works but when they do get the wheel OR the saddle the smugness gets my goat.
as for stones.. with my arm... the bikes wouldn't me in much of a decent state

like villa-ru's idea......get some big paint balls, or if you are felling really badass, some large steel bearings...... what, they going to report you ? ( maybe just chuck a brick thru works window, or lie in wait for you one dark evening.

true, i am out of this place in 2 months... working notice is a death by 1,000 cuts, it needs spicing up - if it does fail i might resort to assulting mashton in the mornings.

Off to bigger and better things? Company with secure bike parking?

I blame the parent(s)

Well I think you should maybe try to out-mad them. Just run at them gibbering, preferably with your top off and a chewbacca mask on. No-one's as scared of a mad person as much as an school-dodging reebok wearer who's high on skunk.

take photos of them and inform the local police about it, people nowadays have camera that have a decent zoom (not digital zoom).

use those photos in your 'letter', pointing out that these children *will *nick part of your bikes or possible the bike itself, etc.

Or for best result, take photos, put them in a poster, and post it near bike lock, the kids will notice that their faces is plastered on a poster and realise someone is watching them.

probably won't deterred them, but worth trying.