Daily Mail in cycling shocker!

I hope one day he pulls up next to a number 13 bus stuck in traffic on the Finchley Road, in his convertible and there is some little school kid who pours McDonalds strawberry milkshake onto his head from said upper deck. :)

I hope he trots off for a nice relaxing poo with a copy of the Daily Mail to remind himself how witty he is and runs out of loo roll.

...and I hope his finger goes through the last sheet

If you mean the 'cock' bit that was me, I didn't do anything else though. I was hoping nobody would notice as it was such a small change, but sadly it has been fixed already!

Ok who has 'updated' his wiki entry?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JamesMartin(chef)

Is this actually him? Does this mean I made wiggo write the word cock?

yeah - wiggo is joining in the cock-baiting :)

http://twitter.com/bradwiggins

I hope he gets the same birthday present from two different people.

I hope he gets the same birthday present from two different people.

Whoa, steady on now, there is no need for that level of abuse

I hope he involuntarily cries when plucking a nose-hair.

Whoa, steady on now, there is no need for that level of abuse

He deserved having to go back to the shop and exchange one of them. That'll teach him.

I hope he gets a gift from a loved one, then finds out that they would have bought him the more expensive version of the gift, but decided not to.

I hope he gets his foreskin caught in his fly.

He would feel no pain, it's so tiny it fits between the teeth of his zip

In that case, I hope he gets a very painful boil instead.

I hope he goes to the supermarket to buy a packet of eggs without having a look inside and then at home he notices that one of them is cracked open.

I hope his arsehole is afflicted with acne

I hope he does that weird turning left-right-left thing when walking towards another pedestrian down the street where they both try to avoid each other by turning the same way at the same time. And that they don't recognise that he's a 'famous' person.

I hope his dog runs off to live with someone else...just down the road

I hope he gets a verruca. And athletes foot. Although seemingly not much chance of the latter.

I hope cats turn away from him.

I hope he decides to have KFC after a night out on the piss and then has a bad tummy the next morning.

^ you make I larf!

Fairly soon he will eat enough to ensure that he will only be able to test Range Rovers and other large vehicles, as he will be unable to fit into sports cars.

He has cursed himself, no need for us to do it.

I hope he gets cramp whilst trying to be 'sensational' in bed.

I hope he accidentally reads the whole of this thread... realises what a cock he is but is unable to do anything about it

I hope he eats a wafer thin mint.