Anyone know any good dating agencies?

tut tut tut balki, i thought you had some standards!!! Werent it you telling me the other night at norths you'd settle for a 20 rock and a can of tennants?

We've got to assume atleast 70% of the posters here are on the tramp juice and /or high as a kite.

haha! Dicki!

Every time she's on telly she's got one in the oven?! Yet she's about 45!!

She must have atleast 6 kids now...?

the last 2 must have walked out

• noise from JAWS starts in the back ground *
  
  

watch out kattiep

What's tramp juice?

piss

anything over 10%

.. Piss

Cider

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tramp%20juice

Juice for tramps *

which pub which pub ?

i haz felafels

haha. great post.

Why don't I listen to Teenslain? Drunken posting makes for apologies and deep deep reflection the morning after.

Only wanted a hand job.

I'm off to the pub to **try my hand **(yet again) there - wish me luck...

job done

^ And THAT's Streetmate!!

Bloody pitiful program that.

what is it? i haven't seen it

Some blonde bird with big knockers runs up to blokes in the street and says "that chick over there pointed you out and wants to go on a date, what do you reckon?" then the bloke looks at her boobs for a bit and hten they go out and it doesnt work out and they show you his mum who lives in Reading.

^ Nutshell!

That 'blonde bird with big knockers'(Holly Willoughby)loves her cocks too

+1 your all a bunch of sad sacks.

I meet all my birds here,

Naturally:

she has more than one cock?

More helmets than Nigel Mansell

more pricks than kerplunk

This sounds like the first line of a limerick.

Where's Balki?

I met a girl from Zoosk.

I went on a few gumtree dates a couple of years ago.... no luck as such but I'll summarise some of 'em and you can make your own judgements as to whether its worth your time.
1) I got left in a kebab shop; 2) asked if I'd go home with said date 'not for sex but so he could smell me' (he meant my neck, but it was still weird AND it was his first week off hard drugs); 3) I got a contact if I ever needed/wanted a firearm or a passport; 4) I got my hand set on fire cause the twit knocked a lit shot of sambucca onto my hand; 5) I got a really good mate out of it whom now subsequently dates one of my mates.... So I reckon it was worth it - not for me, but for them... they're blissfully happy now.
Oh I also reckon I got enough material to write a pretty funny book....

did he leave you in a kebab shop or swap you for a kebab?

at least he didn't stab you in the kebab.