Sort-of memes that are cracking you up at the moment

Had a head of sixth form that used to let the girls smoke in his office many times on his lap whilst he also smoked large cigars.

Was keen to always hear our answer to “ if you could fuck a teacher who would it be?”

Alcoholic Maths teacher that on a school trip we had to remove from a nightclub in Barcelona as he was squaring up to some locals threatening “I’m from south London, I’ll tear your fucking eyes out”.

Found out our social studies teacher was shagging our history teacher, asked her in the pub if was true she said “yeah cos he has a big dick” he was a sound Rasta that also taught us how to hide weed if stopped by the police.

English teacher that showed all us lads photos of her on holiday wearing just bottle caps on her nipples.

Used to drink every Friday from the age of 16 with them in the same pub. Which many would buy beers for us.

God bless north London comps

Well school before my time sounds fucking grim

Friend went to a prep school where all school and inter school swimming galas were done naked .

This has all gone horribly off topic though .
However it does show how long a good or bad teacher can linger in the memory

Our classics teacher was the dad of a boy in my year/form. In Greece we dared him to max out the speedo past 160km/hr on the minibus - took him four attempts as the first three we nearly crashed. Dared him to overtake on the mountain road up to Delphi, lost a wheel off the unpaved area on the side of the road and a hub cap went flying off. He got a bollocking from the head of languages for overtaking his minibus too. Oh and he shredded a tyre U-turning over exposed roadworks. He often supervised girls’ sports lessons. He was ‘asked to leave’ after years of complaints.

Another teacher was called Mr (Chris) Hunt, and left after a year of torment.

One of the crazy butch ex-army type Biology teachers pumped out his own blood for one of our experiments in class.

I was responsible for at least two teachers nearly having breakdowns, too easily manipulated into being the class clown. Felt so bad I apologised to both. One of the oooold history teachers had complaints against her cos books came back reeking of cigarettes. She had the huskiest cough I’d ever heard.

Watched a kid’s nose explode with blood after a stray cricket ball. He turned out to be a dick anyway.

One guy brought in hash brownies one day and all the boys who ate them ended up missing class from being sick. I had to say to the teacher it must have been food at lunch. That same guy got kicked out a year later for offering his French exchange person a joint, who untypical of French kids freaked out and reported him.

One of the few overtly gay guys stole a minibus and took it for a joyride and returned it undamaged, got a short suspension. Seemed to act like a badass after.

Had to cover for someone after the fad of ‘bush jumping’ - jumping out the class window into the bushes outside - when he gashed his forearm wide open.

Man I fucking hated school.

This shit needs a new thread.

Seems that way. I'm genuinely surprised by some of these reports, and the number of them.

Usual mix at my school - permadrunk maths teacher who kept a bottle of whisky in his desk, chemistry teacher who got arrested for stealing a tin of pineapple chunks from the Spar, craft and design teacher called Mr Pollock who pronounced the ‘P’ in his name as a ‘B’, head of music was a horrible old witch who crushed any joy anyone might have in her subject, maths teacher who asked the girls inappropriate questions and once spent an entire lesson setting out his foolproof plan for robbing a Securicor van.

Oh, and this chap was one of my friends, and I didn’t realise he was twice my age until the Daily Mail came knocking at my door to ask questions about him.

This reminds me of the time our otherwise decent PE teacher insisted that the severely haemophiliac kid keep wicket when we were playing with the proper Dukes ball and wore one to the face. Nobody saw that kid until the next academic year

Adding to the tally of alcoholic teachers with whiskey in their top drawer. Also had a PE teacher whose professional football career was ended by a groin injury and had the name Haycock so that was always funny. Head of year was "ex-Army" and used to bark orders at us. He looked a bit like Johnny Depp playing Hunter S Thompson, but without the drugs. We discovered later he was in the TA as a nurse. The whole science department were mental, either having actual affairs with students, or having strokes and coming back to work with almost no control over their bodies let alone the class. One of them very nearly burnt the school down after deciding that making rocket fuel was a good idea as a lesson. A maths teacher who slammed a door on a kids arm and broke it. He was fired instantly but was working at another school down the road within a fortnight. And finally my old history teacher, who seemed to model himself on the Nazi guy from Indiana Jones, who learned of a rival school heading to ours for a pre-arranged fight and went to greet them at the driveway, only to have his face smashed up with a baseball bat and was surprised by those actions.

We had husband and wife teachers (latin and music). He was utterly unable to control the class so when the noise got to a certain level his battleaxe wife would come in from the next classroom and bollock us and we all shut up very quickly. She would then berate him in front of the class for being a wimp. Other than that a lot of stuff that would be classed as child abuse these days.

We had the geography teacher who was obsessed with telling everyone that we'd be better off if we'd lost WWII (based on the West German economic miracle). Also the RE teacher who joined in a great fanfare having trained at the Vatican and quickly rose to be head of RE and was then sacked when it came out that he was a complete chancer with no qualifications. He was very fond of throwing bibles at kids.

We came into school one day to find the press outside the gates because the headmasters office stash of gay porn and sex toys was strewn across the place.

His son was in the year above, poor fucker.

But yes also drinkers, shaggers, sadists and a raft of those who were in the wrong gig.

A rugby teacher who threw a kid into the scrum like a rugby ball and made the scrum repeatedly stomp him until he had a broken leg. Typical behaviour for him, not a word of censure.

Otherwise, just the usual mob of drunks, paedos and shaggers.

All my teachers were basically lesser versions of these, rumours of affairs etc but nothing solid. It was just us kids that were the horrors, locking the latin teacher in a cupboard, moving desks around every time the maths teacher looked around etc. That's until I moved to a quaker school and everyone was really nice and I had a great time.

We were cunts in my form... Mr Gay got a terrible time from us, well, from everyone really... Poor fella...

My mate, Jake, found a spread in one of his porn mags (inherited from his older brother, Jake was 12) featuring one of our supply teachers... She was naked, standing behind a golden throne cupping the breast of the model sitting on the throne... Pretty harmless stuff really...

He made a bunch of photocopies and handed them out at school, she was barely recognisable, but... Supply teacher was never seen at school again... We were little cunts...

Most of mine at both senior and junior school were alcoholics on some scale and having affairs with each other.

Sadly two teachers at my junior school (CoE) were forced out due to being gay. One of them died of AIDS relatively soon after...feels like something from a film to show the historical context of the decade.

Senior school was utter carnage. One of the less dark stories was from Mr. Headbutt who always commanded authority and routinely had to control the foreign students' English class "taught" by Mr. R. One day Mr Headbutt heard music coming from the other room, went in, and the students had squashed Mr. R behind his desk and a pile of theirs while two kids had a breakdancing battle.

Mr. Headbutt so called because at one of the leaving ball/prom-type things a 6th former drunkenly went up to him and his wife and mouthed off, say "you can't do anything now I'm leaving". He headbutted him and broke his nose.

TBH overall really enjoyed school (well as much as a teenager enjoys anything).

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4950838.stm

One of the UK's top head teachers has been sacked for "gross
misconduct". Tim Dingle of the Royal Grammar School in High Wycombe,
Bucks, was at the centre of allegations of womanising and drug misuse
in a tabloid newspaper.

Good times, good times.

While my school wasn't that bad, I've got a few friends that went to Ampleforth College.
https://www.google.com/search?q=ampleforth+college+abuse&rlz=1C5CHFA_enGB858GB858&source=lnms&tbm=nws&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi0k_HDnLXnAhUGCsAKHSbNCJwQ_AUoAXoECAwQAw&biw=1440&bih=798

Notice the multiple different dates of the articles, because it kept happening.

went to school. one day didn't have to go anymore, so stopped going.

Mate, that was a weekend.

You remember school! But did you remember to post memes? No.

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Christ - the school stories in here are extreme.

I thought our PE teacher checking everyone out of the showers after Rugby to make sure they were clean enough was bad enough but it doesn't come close!

Minor misdemeanour compared to my school:

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/pervert-priest-jailed-968872

.

Typical 80/90s private all boys school experience for me. Rife with bullying and a weird apathy from management towards the paedophiles on their payroll. Some of whom have now done bird for doing boys.

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