Sort-of memes that are cracking you up at the moment

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I wasn't prepared for that to be real...

Why the campaign against tall men? My experience of digital dating suggests that quite the opposite position is more usually taken...

I wasn't prepared for anything on Goop to be that reasonably priced - I'm going all in on this stuff.

Vintage selfie stick:

• or proof of time travelling...
  

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Made me lol

Goop is Gwyneth Paltrow’s shop so of course it sells crystal healing shit.

Fucking UGH, the main girl is part of the tax payers alliance and very pro brexit, even though she's AUSTRALIAN

I let that Gwyneth Paltrow in her 4WD out of a side road while on a sportive in Surrey. True story.

while on a sportive

Brave

Not only that, it was some over-priced, over-sponsored David Millar/Maserati one.

Turns out she has a whole Etsy shop full of "Vibrational healing through stones, scent and sound."

yeah that's because she's a fucking idiot.

The reviews are amazing. The vampire spray gets a solid 5/5, I suppose no one has been bitten yet so how could they score it any lower.

@itsbruce This has made my day, ta.

To be fair you get a lot for your money:

Ingredients: Sonically tuned water, rosewater, grain alcohol, sea salt, colloidal silver, therapeutic grade oils of: rosemary, juniper and lavender; a unique and complex blend of gem elixirs, including but not limited to: black tourmaline, lapis lazuli, ruby, labradorite, bloodstone, aqua aura, black onyx, garnet, pyrite and nuummite; reiki, sound waves, moonlight, love, reiki charged crystals

Also, I think a 'psychic vampire' is anyone you find draining. And they might get the message if you keep spraying them with water when they approach you.

I also liked the directions for use for Everlasting love : "Spray this wonderful spray around your aura and environment to encourage romance to flow into your life. Also helps to reignite love in an existing relationship, and to promote self love." (InB4 fap jokes).

I imagine someone running after someone spraying them begging them not to go.

Also, I think a 'psychic vampire' is anyone you find draining

So you spray it in their eyes? Is 'sonically tuned water' as good as mace?

Materials: Love, Sonically Tuned Reverse Osmosis Water, Rose Water, Salt, Lavender Essential Oil, Rose Quartz, Aventurine, Pink Tourmaline, Selenite, Watermelon Tourmaline, Emerald, Reiki, Reiki Charged Crystal Chips

How many of those ingredients are even actual things?

the list i posted a few up also includes 'moonlight' and 'sound waves'.