Crap 'Buzzwords'

Yeah it's still awful.

I just picked up an email assuring me that "this white paper will be a lead magnet educating our top-of-funnel-traffic"

u wot mate?

This thread cracks me up, and also gives me hope that someday I might get paid a lot of money to have a weird title and spout jargon at sharply-dressed colleagues

Apologies if a re: http://www.cityam.com/274856/no-youre-not-innovative-youre-lazy

Stolen to make myself look good in a meeting in 10 mins.

Any vacancies?
I'ld love to learn of the technology that can make Lead magnetic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcAqR-Hs9II

"in traffic"...

Used to describe a high stress, high pace, client facing work.

"She would be good for this project because she performs well in traffic."

That's a bit vom.

An agency I work for seems to have latched onto the term 'all up' meaning 'an overview'.

I'm also reminded of the hideous 'one sheet' - a PDF often containing more that one page.

I think the analogy of work superiors putting project teams at risk of physical and mental trauma is quite apt.

yes. sorry for delay in reply

'binge-worthy'

Sort of buzzwords. Deserves to be ridiculed in any case.

https://www.linkedin.com/jobs/view/make-it-rain-cloud-consultant-platform-architect-at-mongoose-gray-622156586/

We’ve got laptops and a Starbucks next door We’re a global technology consulting firm, growing rapidly. We can’t remember what sleep is like It’s a fast-paced environment that’s challenging but rewarding. Our boss is one of the guys except he can fire you We’ve got a startup-style flat hierarchy Lose the ’tude so need someone who’s low on ego and high on can-do...

etc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8uIFwNVB2g

We’ve got laptops and a Starbucks next door

Woah man, sign me up.

Pretty bad.

It seems to be the work of the recruitment consultant, they're all like that:

Why this Operational Excellence Business Analyst role is like reading the Bible.

…the Earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind swept over the face of the waters. God said, ‘It’s too windy and I can’t see what I’m doing.’ So he said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. And God said, ‘Let there be a dome in the midst of the waters.’ And guys came with clipboards and said, ‘You can’t put that dome there.’ And God said, ‘I filed the paperwork,’ and the guys said, ‘We didn’t get it,’ and God realised he needed some help and he hadn’t even invented Excel yet.

https://www.linkedin.com/company/mongoose-gray-technology/jobs/

I couldn't help overhearing a woman on her phone today. She was in HR and everyone she mentioned that could do some job or other had the "bandwidth" to do it.
Twat.

Sales guys and management always use the term 'reach out' when talking about contacting someone, creeps most of us out a little.

"freedom gas"

.

"freedom gas"

It wasn't a joke. Never forget.

‘multi-hyphenate creative‘

This is actually a handy indicator to immediately stop reading about the person.

@Heldring

This really isn't in any way appropriate as joke material. I'd welcome it if you could edit your posts.

Broga®