Crap 'Buzzwords'

I think a staycation is where you stay at home and go for days out etc rather than just an english holiday like camping or b&b. best done if you tell everyone you are going away so no one phones or comes round...

@mikec I would have charged across the battlefield and bayonetted that c*nt.

Some marketing God recently moved into our office and the other day he was on the phone and he uttered the phrase

'run this one up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes it'

I put my headphones on after hearing that and haven't removed them since. I was mortified

You should have suggested it may be better to wrap it around the bogroll and see if anyone wipes their arse with it.

Deplane. The act of exiting an aircraft.

"Television"

The word is half Latin and half Greek. Total nonsense.

That's terrible MikeC... was it the guy with the Lambo?! In London there is so much of this shit.

'Rip-off Britain'

Deplane. The act of exiting an aircraft.

Utterly ridiculous. Where may I ask did you hear this?

The terms "debus" and "detrain" are military in origin and have been around for yonks. "Deplane" is just a modern version.

I dunno, if it means chucking someone off a plane I might like it. Like 'defenestrate'.

Can I recommend signing on for the daily cartoon from Dilbert? A surreal and evil slice of modern day corporate existence posted into your inbox for free.

Many many LOLs:

http://www.dilbert.com/

"there's no I in team"

Most recently responded to with "are you trying to say I am not a team worker". The facial gurning in response kept me amused for a couple of minutes.

i hate chillax with a passion.

Knock yourselves out: :-)

http://www.buzzwhack.com/

I think that we need to exert some thought leadership on this issue.

adminisphere: The upper levels of management where big, impractical, and counterproductive decisions are made

Tossers!

You should have suggested it may be better to wrap it around the bogroll and see if anyone wipes their arse with it.

Fantastic retort, if only I was that witty!

That's terrible MikeC... was it the guy with the Lambo?! In London there is so much of this shit.

Way too much. You never know who you are dealing with though until they utter them. Then its too late. The damage has been done and you want to kill them, or cut off your own ears

What really fucks with their heads is to embrace the jargon and embellish it. Then they don't know if you're taking the piss or not.

My favourite along the one uttered by Mike's colleague was 'let's pop this in the mental microwave and see if it defrosts'.

I am likely to lose it if another person in this office requests that I "flick" them something.

Flick me the V's please Balki.

Thank you.

Slightly off topic, but I just saw the chap next to me drinking from the taps in the toilet.

He looks like C3PO.

EDIT: Whats the "V's"?

Boy, am I happy I work in IT. All my colleagues talk about is Star Trek.

outsourcing
downsizing
new career opportunity

I also work in IT ;o((( fucking shit...............

"Ducks in a row"
"Singing from the same hymn sheet"
Core competency
No brainer
Matrix Management
Mindset
You can’t boil the ocean
Walk the talk

Etc etc.. I loathe pricks who use these.. it’s a way to cover a complete lack of ability but a need to sound like you have half a clue.
People get paid to come up with these concepts.. sell books and managers buy in on it. I can’t watch that “your fired” program for fear of an aneurism, brought on by rage at these half wit estate agents giving it the “I AM”.. if you were you'd be fucking doing it and not on the telly box!
These people should be beat within an inch of their lives with a enormous steal pole shaped to spell “Incentivise”

For Balki. Flicking the Vs is the act of doing the v sign at someone.

I like to mix my buzzword mashups.

downsourcing
outsizing
lets put that on the blue shelf
singing from the same skywriting

Our bookings girls noun adjectives like "Have you actioned this yet" I say, "no I haven't, dimlow. I have done my job with minimum fuss and without the use of your useless office lexicon"