Crap 'Buzzwords'

Fail, those are forks not stays.

And that's a squirrel, not a cat.

More of a Forksquirrelion, which doesn't mean anything and does roll off the tongue like cheesy allegorical babbling so even more fail.

You really are useless at this. You need to initiate moving the metaphor over the perception horizon.

Look at this funny picture I found of a cat trapped in some forks:

Some phrases that used to drive me crazy when i worked for Bupa

'to be honest"
"in all fairness"
"low hanging fruit"
"one to one meeting"
"moving forward"
"key performance indicators"
"gather"

close to the classic premiership player post-match interview response...

'to be fair'

fucking lemmings

maybe we should 'take that offline'?

eugghhhhh!

"game of football"

"plate of food"

Geezer in my office just came out with this little nugget. Anyone get any clues as to its meaning?

***INTERROGATE THE BRAND UNTIL IT CONFESSES

---

he was off to pray with the purple pope?

not heard them...what context are they used in as crap buzzwords?

"game of football"

"plate of food"

I don't like people saying "Tuna fish"

well of course it's a fucking fish, you don't go round asking for a leg of "Lamb mammal" or a kilo of "apple fruits"

Ha haha

"game of sport"

"what it is is..."

"there isn't no record of that..."

"there's something wrong with their reflescent lights?...."

not really buzzwords but still...

fncking simpletons

'carbon'

'toe overlap'

shufflegod (though actually, i like this one)

'after the jump'

ergh.

'carbon'

'toe overlap'

so could that become toe-verlap or is it already?

"see you on the flipside"

(ARRRRRRRGH)

I absolutely adore obscure jargon and use it as much as I possibly can, but you have to do it right. Many of the buzzwords above are the result of people trying to appear clever by reducing complex things to simple expressions. There are often images or emotional aspects that don't do what they're talking about justice.

What I don't like about these is when one of them appears in the media, soon everyone will be using it. I do realise that that's what a shared culture does, but it so often has an air of desperation about it.

worst one i heard lately is yarden...as in growing plants in a yard

Yarden's vegan dips are ace.

http://www.yardengb.ltd.uk/

Back when Costa introduced their renamed coffee sizes the baristas around the corner from where I worked were near militant with the customers about trying to "rebrand" them. Typical daily conversation.

"How can I serve you" not exactly a good start on their part
"A small black coffee please"
"Is that the Primo or the Medio?"
"I don't know really, I'll just have whichever one is the small one"

• Pointing at cups* "This is the Primo, this is the Medio and this is the Grande"
  "Just give me a black coffee in the smallest cup"
  "Would you like any pastries or a biscotti with that?"
  "Not anymore"
  
  

I really don't like the word 'barista'.

Also, 'biscotti' is the plural of 'biscotto'.

Nevermind.. I couldn't find it either.. I think it was this thread.. "figures of speech". It just rang a bell..
http://www.londonfgss.com/thread26188.html

That thread was the dog's bollocks and the cat's whiskers, put pitched at a different demographic and a more grown-up target group. More A1 than B4. It really bucked the trend and phoned for help.

That thread was the dog's bollocks and the cat's whiskers, put pitched at a different demographic and a more grown-up target group. More A1 than B4. It really bucked the trend and phoned for help.

Cream of the crop or scraping the barrel, you decide?

"streamlined our operations"

Crap buzzmorphology: I've said it before, but the indiscriminate use of the present progressive/continuous for stative verbs.

Rather than get into another socio-psycholinguistic rant on the subject, let's just say I'm still not liking it.

Presumably it means someone who runs around waving his arms over his head making lots of wind and noise, has a short range and who crashes with monotonous frequency and generally fatal consequences.

We have lots of people like that where I work.

They need more fibre in their diet.