Draw your own collisions

Indeed I have, prior case of road-rash which turned me into the omni-hipster, "too hip by a half" according to esquire magazine.

Nice work!!

Bloomin' gravel.

1 Attachment

Clever poo placement.

Also accurate.

As this is a photo of the Police statement I'm not allowed to put a turd in it, so here is another one...

If you had slipped a turd in it, you would win all the internet.

Good drawing. Shade in the cycle lane if you can

^^this, surely you could have snuck a cheeky squiggle in somewhere.

Now with turd and cycle lane...

Picked myself up from under a car, this morning.

So I'm riding down the right hand side of a stationery line of cars when one driver decides that a) he's bored of waiting and b) he's in a Smart car, so can get out easily. Unfortunately, he doesn't bother signalling or checking his wing mirror (I'd have been the only thing in it, if he'd looked). Because I spotted his movement and did my best to dodge, he only clipped my rear wheel. As I began yelling at the idiot, I was relieved to find myself still upright. Briefly. He didn't stop. I find myself off my bike and under his car. He still doesn't stop. He only stops when I, having scrambled out of the way of the tire that was going to crush my arm, stand up and pull his door open. At which point he has a panic attack. But at least he stops pushing my bike down the road.

All made more fun by the motorist from a few cars back who comes running up saying "Bloody cyclist pulled out of nowhere, it's not your fault, mate" and offering his details. How I managed to pull out of a solid line of cars, I don't know. Chummy, the right hand side of your car isn't nowhere - it's where you look before turning right.

From what I could gather, the driver was on medication for anxiety (hence the panic attack but probably also the reason for failing to stop, having hit somebody). Shouldn't have been driving at all, then. But my fault, obviously.

Still, a nice girl came out from the flats opposite and gave me a bag of mini chocolate eggs, so the experience wasn't a total waste.

Picture to follow soon. Meanwhile here is a shot of the eggs:

Drawing now done

Christ. Glad you're ok. It's a lot of hassle for a bag of mini-eggs. How is the bike, did the guy wait for the police or was he too fragile and anxious?

Sounds like too fragile to be in the real world that guy! Unlike those eggs, which you should have eaten by now.

"Bloody cyclist pulled out of nowhere, it's not your fault, mate"

I would really have struggled to keep my hair on at this point. Chapeau.

Bike is OK - only had to readjust the saddle. Driver was escorted to his destination by a protective fellow motorist. I have some road rash.

So it's basically a hit and run?!

I would really have struggled to keep my hair on at this point. Chapeau.

With eggs on. Glad you're ok homes

I would really have struggled to keep my hair on at this point. Chapeau.

not cool dude, he still has a surprising amount left for someone his age.

What, is Bruce is as old as Slain?

Pictures of the nice girl?

She was in her pyjamas. Wouldn't be cool.

Implying that you did take some of her but won't post?

So it's basically a hit and run?!

This.

Police should've been called and attended at the scene of collision.

Glad you are ok Bruce. All of a sudden I want some mini eggs too.

has this been redrawn yet?