Popcorn

I hope she goes out with her mates Kimber-Lee, Shardonnay and Aldee and meets a bloke she fancies and laughs sycophantically at something he says and a bubble of snot comes out of her nose.

Shardonnay, you say?

dibs.

Kelli-Ann was there, it's Kelli with a little circle over the "i" and a smiley face in the circle.

I hope she gets sniffed in the crotch by someones dog in the park and the dog owner says "he must smell your dog" and then there is an awkward silence as they both acknowledge that she doesn't own any pets and actually her shelf just smells like tasty cheese.

Shardonnay, you say?

dibs.

*shardinay

Shardinay - Oh Boy - Music Video - YouTube

nowhere near as good as the insults of 2007

I hope she browses the relevant LFGSS threads and finds that people aren't bothered enough about her to make up good insults, at least compared to those related to similar incidents in previous years.

I hope she'll be mildly disconcerted when she finds that people on LFGSS don't know the distinction between insults and ill wishes/mild curses.

I hope she finds a hair in her microwave dinner, takes it back to Tesco where the customer service staff are dismissive and unhelpful, forcing her to write a formal complaint which keeps her awake every night for 2 weeks until she gets an unhelpful reply from the store manager offering her less credit than the value of the meal.

we have a winner

...her shelf just smells like tasty cheese.

Just read this with a Sean Connery's accent.

rep for everyone.

^^ whatever makes it easier for you to reach the finish line

^^ whatever makes it easier for you to reach the finish line

There is no finish line. Not on my shift.

then stop milking it.

:(

:)

Erm, what? No one calls anyone Joshua, it's barely even a real name.

Joshua, you are joshing.

I hope she finds a hair in her microwave dinner, takes it back to Tesco where the customer service staff are dismissive and unhelpful, forcing her to write a formal complaint which keeps her awake every night for 2 weeks until she gets an unhelpful reply from the store manager offering her less credit than the value of the meal.

A horse hair?

I hope that when she removes her cuticles she cuts it a little too far and has a nice little cut running down her finger...

I hope that when she applies her fake tan that she ruins the collar on her new topshop blouse...

I hope that the attention brought by this affair has the side effect of revealing that she is having an illicit affair with Josh Venes.

I hope that when she turns up for work she has to lunch on her own as she doesn't deserve to with other humans...

I hope she has to do mandatory cycle training with Mr Scoble..

I hope that when she goes to take her evening pony, when wiping her hoop she pushes too hard and her finger goes through the paper

the old brown finger poncho?

I hope she has to do mandatory cycle training with Mr Scoble..

Ok ill-wishes are one thing but can we keep it reasonable? Not cool man.