10 rules to (sic) riding a fixie

1. Ride like a fucking monger cunt.
   
2. Sit on your bike like a constipated wanker.
   
3. Wear an iPod, close your eyes, and proceed to switch lanes quickly like a fucktard.
   
4. Just be a fucktard in general.
   
5. Make your bike look as fucking stupid as your hair.
   
6. Be a consummate cunt.
   
7. Create the appearance of speed whilst being slow to the power of [joey face].
   
8. Blame every other road user for the failings of your motor cortex.
   
9. Never behave in the way you want other road users to behave around you.
   
10. Fuck off and die.
    

someone cut you up today then?

To be fair, I had 6 down long before I knew what a 'fixie' was.

BMMF I am fed up with your hippy dippy lovey attitude to fellow riders

1. Ride like a fucking monger cunt.
   
2. Sit on your bike like a constipated wanker.
   
3. Wear an iPod, close your eyes, and proceed to switch lanes quickly like a fucktard.
   
4. Just be a fucktard in general.
   
5. Make your bike look as fucking stupid as your hair.
   
6. Be a consummate cunt.
   
7. Create the appearance of speed whilst being slow to the power of [joey face].
   
8. Blame every other road user for the failings of your motor cortex.
   
9. Never behave in the way you want other road users to behave around you.
   
10. Fuck off and die.
    
    

BMMF for God/Prime Minister/Local school council representative.

1. tell everyone it's really cool as everyone else is doing it.
   

hehe. palpable fury. i like it.

Yes. Good. +1 etc

number 7, made me lol.

to the power of [joey face]

hahah

1. Remove your brakes because it's 'cool' - Your hipsterness will serve as a retardant force.
   

'retard' being the operative verb-as-noun, there^

1. Start threads with 'fixie' in the title and scratch your head when Velocio changes them to 'fixie-skidder'.
   

this is london my friend

BTW, I haven't been out of the flat yet today. Ranting at entire groups of road users is fucking stupid. I was satirising, init.

I thought this was going to be about sick riding skills, like skids and stuff.. gutted! i'll have to start my own thread!

If your going to obey the rules of the road, get a car. bike riding should be freedom. sans ipod.

I can dig every item on that list.

1. nod at those who dont nod, and feel like a twat
   
2. dont nod at those who nod, and feel like a c/nt
   

number 7, made me lol.

to the power of [joey face]

hahah

if you can remember Joey Deacon whilst at school that was the best generation to start riding fixed, all the others are pretenders, mmmmeeeeeeeeeeer, (spastic wasnt a bad word then either)

clrly ne rles abt fxys shd b in txt.

By far the worst thing about this item is the phrase "second season".
Fucking remedial TV planners.

BMMF for God/Prime Minister/Local school council representative.

BMMF for Tynan

clrly ne rles abt fxys shd b in txt.
2hrs 2 thnk bout dat?

^the new king of scopers [says "how're *you *doin'" in Deaconspeak]

2hrs 2 thnk bout dat?

Took me that long to have my thoughts translated into text and equally long to comprehend your response.