Personal question

My father's motto was 'Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow' which could explain a lot....

One thing he suggested to me once or twice was a career in the RAF. Sometimes I wish I'd listened to him together with the guy from Barclays who came to my school on a recruitment drive. Deja Vue - bloody marvelous invention!

I joined the RAF. Got through the tests, the physicalss, etc... got accepted and right up to the contract point, and then I didn't sign. 9 years they wanted. I was going to go in for photography and intelligence work, mostly examining photos and identifying suspect things. Unfortunately they count it as being highly skilled, so expect a full career with them and not just a 5 year thing. Oh well.

Makes me go all Ben Folds... I thought about the army.

^ Presumably your dad said, son, you're fucking high?

Also, my father knew how to pick locks. Learning that would have been useful.

Google up "the MIT guide to lockpicking" - it's pretty bloody good. I never got too far into the study of it, but when I was in my teens I could do standard Yale door locks and standard padlocks no problem.

Ha, all my regrets are all my doing too. 100% me.

My mother's a fluent Italian speaker - I wish I'd had a bit of that drilled into me. As it is, I can pretty much order a meal and extract some of the sense from a newspaper in Italian and that's it :-(

That's more than I can manage with an English newspaper most days...

Music, definitely.

I wish my mum didn't push me so much! She was bi-polar so she wanted me to have a busy routine so I wouldn't see her in her mania phases. However I can speak French & Cantonese, play Piano & Guitar and was quite good at most sports (I was a member of every school sports team).

i really wish i lerned to spell and punctuate properly its something that really annoys others and im really gutted about that as it effects my everyday life in so many ways i cant begin to describe.

^reped

I wish I had drilled my mother.

Sorry, what was the question?

my parents tried repeatedly to make me play piano, i'd love a job now playing jazz piano in a bar in new york...

My Dad was a brilliant pianist, he played with a certain Englebert Humperdink when he was still Arnold Dorsey, we had a piano in the house and yet I never had any lessons.....I wish I'd been forced into piano slavery from an early age.....

Gerry Dorsey...

Self discipline, wasted university opportunities. Such is life.

my mother spoke to me in french when i was a kid so that's how i learnt it.

i've got quite a good ear for music so i wish i'd learnt how to play more instruments.

As a relatively new parent, myself and my partner (German) are going for bi-lingualnessness...plus swimming and then cycling, in that order-ish.

yeah, definitely talk to your kids in your native language .. they'll thank you for it when they're older.

Lying, Magic tricks, Licking my own balls, Forgery, Fraud, Misdirection of foul gases, Pick-pocketing and General gypsy skills.

yeah, definitely talk to your kids in your native language .. they'll thank you for it when they're older.

. . . when they are in the mental institute because they don't know who they are.

Lying, Magic tricks, Licking my own balls, Forgery, Misdirection of foul gases, Fraud, Pick-pocketing and General gypsy skills.

I'm running a course in licking your own balls for beginners. You're never too old to learn.

You're never too old to learn.

This is true, I shouldn't give up on my dreams, I will get them balls in my pie hole one day, I have promised myself that.

I will get them balls in my pie hole one day, I have promised myself that.

Easily done.

Directions for placing your testicles in your mouth

You will need:

Testicles
A sharp knife
An open mouth

First cut testicles off body. Retrieve once consciousness is recovered. Place gently in mouth.
**
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN NUTS**

Apparently if you can convince a friend to put their testicles in an empty marmite jar, they will find them very difficult to remove without using a hammer.

Good luck in all your endeavours.

Gerry Dorsey...

Yep. Arnold by birth