So, like, can you help me pump up my tyres, baby?

This is how you bike flirt.

This story was written about me after a recent trip to the the big apple.

http://www.londonfgss.com/thread6331.html

from skimming over the thread, I saw someone comment on the old urban myth of using a condom to fix an inner tube .... first saw that one in a 1997 issue of MBUK.

What about the guys that are just nice people stopping to see if you need to borrow any tools or something? I'd never be so rude as to walk up to someone
(male or female) and take a spanner out of their hand!
But if someone offers help/tools are you really going to react in such an angry manner, i've stopped plenty of times and asked people if they need a hand or any tools when I see a cyclist at the side of the road experiencing mechanical issues, not "to pull" but just cos I like to help my fellow cyclists out where possible.

Not the sort of thing a real "crazyjames' would do. A real crazy would climb on top of them whilst they're bending over struggling with their bike and make antelope noises with your genitals proudly on show.

Tsk tsk.

No, CrazyJames is perfectly safe when he rolls up offering help with repairs. Just don't let him test-ride the bike when the repair is completed. ;)

that article is about the stupidest thing i've ever read. note to self; never ever go to that bike shop if in new york city.

What about the guys that are just nice people stopping to see if you need to borrow any tools or something? I'd never be so rude as to walk up to someone
(male or female) and take a spanner out of their hand!

okay i am a total shit mechanic, and there's a lot of stuff i am bad at/can't do that people on here have helped me with and i am glad to ask for help when i need it and i definitely appreciate it - but i have had a spanner, or pump, or whatever, literally taken out my hand a couple times when it was a job that i could do and that is really, really frustrating! cause how else am i ever gonna learn?

that said, i think tomorrow i'll go down to clerkenwell road around 5 o'clock and let the air outta my tires if any of you ladies out there wanna join me? i think i'll bring a bowl of grapes too.

that said, i think tomorrow i'll go down to the Ku'damm around 5 o'clock and let the air outta my tyres if any of you ladies out there wanna join me? i think i'll bring a bowl of grapes too.

Fixed.

Or are you back in London?

Not the sort of thing a real "crazyjames' would do. A real crazy would climb on top of them whilst they're bending over struggling with their bike and make antelope noises with your genitals proudly on show.

Tsk tsk.

Well with Charlotte being a keen archer, and an avid contributor to the knife appreciation thread....You'd have to be crazier than me to even contemplate that!

heh oliver, you're right, i am in berlin. but i was just kidding anyway ;)

Kattt I have your T-shirt- want me to post it to you?

I can include some tyre levers to keep this thread on topic?

What are tyre levers??

men stop to help me all the time, whats that all about?

Pip is a confuser.

he is a trap

What are tyre levers??

They're levers made out of recycled old tyres.

talking of helping random strangeners, I was riding home along clerkenwell, and saw some dude with a nice old 10 speed walking his bike, I assumed he had a puncture, but on slowing down to offer a pump up, I saw his rear derailleur jammed into the spokes, preventing the wheel from turning at all. Without a adjustable spanner (I usually only carry a hex) I managed to get his wheel unstuck by hand but with chain hanging down with the derailleur still attached, he could now coast, so I towed him (he grabbing the webbing straps of my bag) home to Bethnal Green - we must have been a weird sight.

That reminds me of being dragged along, by a bmx, on a skate board. we went all the way from stockwell skate park to camberwell. It was very fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I66aySW4le8

I like JayGee's idea. Sends his missus off on a cycle maintenance course while he goes to the track.

All things being equal a bird who knows one end of a tyre lever from the other has got to be a better bet.

Now if the bint knows cycle maintenance and massage, she's deffo a keeper.

Clive said "bint"... he he

I appear to be all tight on my drive side

talking of helping random strangeners, I was riding home along clerkenwell, and saw some dude with a nice old 10 speed walking his bike, I assumed he had a puncture, but on slowing down to offer a pump up, I saw his rear derailleur jammed into the spokes, preventing the wheel from turning at all. Without a adjustable spanner (I usually only carry a hex) I managed to get his wheel unstuck by hand but with chain hanging down with the derailleur still attached, he could now coast, so I towed him (he grabbing the webbing straps of my bag) home to Bethnal Green - we must have been a weird sight.

It's early in the morning, granted, but that is the best thing I've read all day long.

"Madam, I did not stop to help you because you are a woman. I did it because I am a gentleman."

What are tyre levers??

They're levers made out of recycled old tyres.

he's lying again. they are the name given to people who dump old tyres on streets.

that said, i think tomorrow i'll go down to Ku'damm around 5 o'clock and let the air outta my tires if any of you ladies out there wanna join me? i think i'll bring a bowl of sauerkraut
too.

Passend Fixed.

I like JayGee's idea. Sends his missus off on a cycle maintenance course while he goes to the track.

All things being equal a bird who knows one end of a tyre lever from the other has got to be a better bet.

Now if the bint knows cycle maintenance and massage, she's deffo a keeper.

Men are devious and foolishly use WD40 on their bikes and GT85 on the bearings. Ladies, run away!

(my course was really good by the way. Funny to see the guys booked themselves straight into the intermediate course but didn't know half of what was covered in the basic one, oh and arrived 1h30 late...)

As if by some coincidence, there was a woman in the industrial estate that I ride through every morning who looked like she was having trouble with her front wheel. I nearly rode on as per usual but then became paranoid that one of you sods was out to stitch me up so I stopped and offered assistance.

It turns out that the woman was had the mechanical aptitude to patch a puncture but was having trouble with her pump. It turns out that she only had a Schraeder fitting pump and Presta valves and was grateful of the loan. She denied any knowledge of being the minion of a London hipster overlord sent to test me but I will find out who it was and then people will be made to pay.