It's not just in London...

i was riding down byers road in glasgow, great for bike.. not good for cars as there are MILLIONS of pedestrians and lots of lights. red saxo flew past and threw a kebab at me.. hit the handlebars and went all over my jeans.

they did not expect me to get out the saddle and catch up with them so quickly..

got all the way to the car and started shouting and kicking the car door... till i noticed the 5 dodgy looking guys just staring at me... i shat it and cycled off into a side street! :)

bunch of cunts on a bridge dropped a cow onto me

Might be a little unwieldly but it gives me the range to knock the feckers rear windows out.

bunch of cunts on a bridge dropped a cow onto me

I got knocked off by a dead cow in Smithfield. A sort of silent film comedy moment as the meat porter stepped off the kerb and then turned 180 to talk to his mate.

Bikeradar >>>

I was riding under a crane and something went wrong and they dropped a grand piano on me. Little birdies were flying around me head and chirping.

DJ are you sure it just isn't you?

Your "riding bicycle:confrontation" ratio seems to be a bit of a ahem statistical outlier.

I was riding down the street and a fucking Ceyote with a fucking knife and fork tore past me with bloody rockets on his rollerskates! Then a fucking train just appeared out of nowhere and fucking ran him over!

If you look up now, you'll see a rabbit with an anvil.

This one time I was riding along and I saw a trail of hobnobs so I followed them eating them along the way and then that ceyote fucker was there waiting for me with a boulder in a slingshot!!! Luckily when he fired it, it got stuck in the slingshot and and bounced back and fucking smashed him against a cliff!

How do you spell ceyote?

coyote?

If you look up now, you'll see a rabbit with an anvil.

This one time, a fucking rabbit tried to drop an anvil on me! Luckily I had some ACME holes in my pocket and I threw one on the gound and rode into it. That was close.

this one time, at band camp

I was riding along and I came to a tunnel I'd never seen before. I though "bloody hell.... never seen that before" and I went to ride in, but it was fucking painted on a wall!

I hate my job :(

Coyote

Some Americans call them Cuy-oats.

Thanks...

Did I tell you about the guys with the bones through their noses who boiled me and my bike in a big pot? That shit was dire.

How about cowboys? do you have any trouble with short, redheaded cowboys?

The cowboys are fine, Its the Indians you have to worry about...

I've had a half full mcDonald's milkshake launched at me from a fully-pimped-up Nova complete with comedy exhaust and bevy of teenage oiks. Thankfully it missed me and hit my wheel.

Bottles of coke are another favourite - the majority of my commute home is on Sussex country roads and I get far more dickheads shouting / throwing things than I do on the 'urban' bits - I guess because generally there are no other cars about...

I have also had a similar experience to this in Hampshire whilst cycling home from work at night

They've got this guys with 4 arms!

Might be a little unwieldly but it gives me the range to knock the feckers rear windows out.

...fixed

Some ladies in a 4X4 offered me some dried banana once...

at adoubleflaps - major and minor

I am paranoid enough without you adding to it.

I can be atagonistic (but usually when riled) the Turners Hill incident was entirely unprovoked apart from my perfect ass in lycra is probably enough to turn a hetero yokel gay so they need to make a grab for it.