What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?

moved to London and bought a house with the GF

why what went wrong? genuine question.

moved to London and bought a house with the GF

A woman I loved did this... :(

You sick bastard.

Ha! You made I lol :-)

A woman I loved did this... :(

haha (nearly a lol)

Ok a real list of stupid things that spring to mind:

1. Fired an air-rifle through my sister's bedroom door, while she was in the room
   
2. Accidentally set fire to my windowsill with a chemistry set
   
3. Used to tamper with the hinge on my sister's folding bike, so it'd start folding up on her as she went downhill
   
4. When about 12 discovered super-glue and me and some friends then went about sticking different parts of our bodies to themselves (you can stick your top lip to the tip of your nose, and ears fold over...)
   
5. Gave my cat some moon-dust wrapped in bacon, he nearly hit the kitchen ceiling
   
6. Decided to repray some bicycle parts but used the bonnet of my dad's car as a work-bench
   
   
   
   

I'm getting bored now that covers up to about 12/13.

Your #2 reminds me - I set fire to my parents house on boxing day. I had received some toy (I forget what) in a big cardboard box. My dad told me to put it on the fire when the flames died down. Not realising I should tear the box up, or at least jump on it, I placed it neatly in the middle of the fire, and it promplty rolled out into the middle of the room setting fire to the carpet and walls. I literally shat myself.

One lazy morning i treated my girlfriend to a massage...i spent ages gently massaging lotion into her skin...sliding my hands up and down her back...across her shoulders...down the sides of her neck...dragging my fingertips down her spine...massged her tired legs...up her calves and along her thighs...gentle sighs of pleasure as i eased away all her tensions and sent her mind into a beautiful, relaxed state....then i picked up her cat off the bed and threw it at her back, where it landed with all four paws worth of claws fully exposed.
I mean, what the fuck was i thinking? I thought it would be funny at the time to lower the little feline gently onto her back and make her jump a bit...only it all went wrong when the cat panicked and dived out of my hands like it had just seen a fucking field mouse run across the sheets.
My girlfriend then proceeded to let out a scream, and roll over to see what the fuck happened...when she rolled back there was, err, blood...on the sheets...from the two big gashes across the back of both her thighs.
To say i felt really bad is a slight understatement... :(

Doing barefoot trackstands, somehow caught my big toenail on a mudguard rod. My toenails are big thick & strong, but the rod went right under and tore the whole nail off as well as gouging into the flesh below. That was nearly a year ago and it hasnt grown back properly yet.

Slipping in the bath and fracturing my wrist a few weeks ago, ohhh the shame.

Getting expelled from school.

Stupid things when I was younger with friends, seeing who can be the bravest. Remember hanging off a motorway bridge and trying to edge my way across the whole thing being pretty stupid.

Slipping in the bath

yeah, that's the normal answer to "and how did you manage to get that up there?"

Getting expelled from school.

What'd you do

Doing barefoot trackstands, somehow caught my big toenail on a mudguard rod. My toenails are big thick & strong, but the rod went right under and tore the whole nail off as well as gouging into the flesh below. That was nearly a year ago and it hasnt grown back properly yet.

xD
this is almost the same as what happened to me, but I was mounting a rescue attempt to help my sister locked in a bedroom by a backdraft of air (wedging it shut tight).
I decided to kick it down but as I slammed my foot into the door, my big toenail caught the door handle and I watched in horror as it flew off.
I grabbed the nail, ran into the bathroom and slammed it back into place over a bloody, slippy, oozing mess!
..the pain....AGAIN, THE PAIN =[

~ Contracted cerebral maleria by accidently skipping my daily dosage of Advacor and Paludrin over a weekend. Luckily no drain bamage even tho I was in and out of a coma for 2weeks. On the plus side I lost **shitloads **of weight and could fit into size 32 jeans (from 38) once back home! that’s when women first started to notice me, so it turned out swell.

and lastly
~ as a child of 11 I dissasembled a plug so I could get at all three pins, insert them into a live socket. Never felt a vibration quite like it. I didnt die, just came away with a weird smell and taste in my mouth.

Slipping in the bath and fracturing my wrist a few weeks ago, ohhh the shame.

And you probably landed with your bum directly onto a banana which just happen to lie there? Yeah, I know that story.

And you probably landed with your bum directly onto a banana which just happen to lie there? Yeah, I know that story.

I heard Richard Gere had a similarly embarassing incident with a hamster......allegedly.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1876886.ece

One lazy morning i treated my girlfriend to a massage...i spent ages gently massaging lotion into her skin...sliding my hands up and down her back...across her shoulders...down the sides of her neck...dragging my fingertips down her spine...massged her tired legs...up her calves and along her thighs...gentle sighs of pleasure as i eased away all her tensions and sent her mind into a beautiful, relaxed state....then i picked up her cat off the bed and threw it at her back, where it landed with all four paws worth of claws fully exposed.
I mean, what the fuck was i thinking? I thought it would be funny at the time to lower the little feline gently onto her back and make her jump a bit...only it all went wrong when the cat panicked and dived out of my hands like it had just seen a fucking field mouse run across the sheets.
My girlfriend then proceeded to let out a scream, and roll over to see what the fuck happened...when she rolled back there was, err, blood...on the sheets...from the two big gashes across the back of both her thighs.
To say i felt really bad is a slight understatement... :(

Just read this, Scott.... that is possibly one of the funniest stories I have ever heard!

One lazy morning i treated my girlfriend to a massage...i spent ages gently massaging lotion into her skin...sliding my hands up and down her back...across her shoulders...down the sides of her neck...dragging my fingertips down her spine...massged her tired legs...up her calves and along her thighs...gentle sighs of pleasure as i eased away all her tensions and sent her mind into a beautiful, relaxed state....then i picked up her cat off the bed and threw it at her back, where it landed with all four paws worth of claws fully exposed.
I mean, what the fuck was i thinking? I thought it would be funny at the time to lower the little feline gently onto her back and make her jump a bit...only it all went wrong when the cat panicked and dived out of my hands like it had just seen a fucking field mouse run across the sheets.
My girlfriend then proceeded to let out a scream, and roll over to see what the fuck happened...when she rolled back there was, err, blood...on the sheets...from the two big gashes across the back of both her thighs.
To say i felt really bad is a slight understatement... :(
I've only just read this, cheers for cheering me up this morning by making me laugh.

I threw one of my mates cats out of his (2nd storey) bedroom window once. The cat sat on my hand and all of sudden bit my finger. I whiped my hand up in shock, sending the cat over my shoulder and out of the open window. My mate heard the screetch and asked what had happened to his cat. All I could say was "erm.... I think I just threw it out the window...oops".

The stupidest thing has to be this though...

In a night club in Oslo with my girlfriends friends, it became obvious to me that one of the guys I knew was about to start a fight (long story). I told my girlfriend and said That I would keep an eye on him. I also saw that the bouncers had noticed.
Now, I've had some bad experiances with bouncers so I start getting paranoid (and more drunk), as the hours pass. I keep drinking and keep thinking bad things. Untill the point when said friend finally kicks off, and the bouncer makes a bee line for him. I scream like a banshee, build up to a full sprint over the meters between me and the bouncer, and pile drive him into the back wall. This hurt like feck as it turns out the bouncer is wearing a stab proof vest. This sobers me up somewhat, as its now pretty obvious That a 5'7" pissed idiot is not going to worry him. At that moment, standing there pinning a guy too big to get my arms around to a wall and with my head barely high enough to reach his chest. I remember thinking.

Now that was stupid!

1) Caught shoplifting a twin pack of Pork Pies aged 14
2) Nearly electrocuting myself whilst at work one day, bored in the stock room, tried to rig up some halogen bulbs direct to mains.....
3) Buying 'sensi' from a man on a bridge at Glastonbury (fish food)

When I were a lad 8 or around that; I learned this neat trick at school. I went home and showed my dad, I stood in front of him and held his hands; "hi nick how's your dick" I then kicked him in the balls!!!!
I then proceeded to fly across the room from his kick, is was a big room, I must of travelled 5 meters!

"Karma"

Maybe a year or two later, on a holiday resort in Co. Kerry I was swinging on the money bars with my holiday friends, having lots of fun. While swinging I missed the next bar and released my trailing hand, my knackers where then acquanted with the foot bar running undernieth. My balls were black and blue and the pain was unbelievable, I screemed like a whaling banshe. I still feel weak thinking about it now.

Talking of bouncers; I was in Sahgaluf for a friends stag do in '07. Got a bit larry after abit of strong nose power and lots of free shots and starting dancing on this 'Restricted' stage. So the bouncer comes over (turns out he calls himself african rhino) tells me to "eh, get off de stage", I then told him to fuck off or i'll blind him. So insuded a benny hill style chase around the club for a minute before all the other gladiators picked me up and threw me outside!

I have many stories about those wimp bouncers.

I shot my girlfriend in the head with one of those 'gat' pellet guns from less than ten feet away, it was cocked and I thought it wasn't loaded, turns out it was. oopsy. She wasn't even mad! Possibly because of all the grovelling.

Ha!

Did you read the article about the german bloke this week who put a gun down his pants and pulled the trigger blowing his knob off? He thought the safety was on and was showing off in front of his mates.

Anyway, the authorities are charging him for breaching Germanys tight new anti-gun laws. Thats a tad harsh, I reckon.

Dusty Hill out of ZZ Top once managed to shoot himself in the arse with a gun he kept in his boot IIRC.