Stopped by Police?

Got down the length of Tottenham Court Road once, with a wagon blaring after me.
But i was totally oblivious to the fact they were after me, y'know large headphones and the incredible need to go to the toilet are enough to deafen any man.

Being sprawled out on the pavement with a knee on your back is hallarious BTW

Or perhaps put a newspaper up in front of your face with two eye-holes cut out?

ha.

Got down the length of Tottenham Court Road once, with a wagon blaring after me.
But i was totally oblivious to the fact they were after me, y'know large headphones and the incredible need to go to the toilet are enough to deafen any man.

Being sprawled out on the pavement with a knee on your back is hallarious BTW

great satisfaction doesn't come easy

So I get my bike from BC after not having ridden for 7 years. On my very first commute I jump a red light coming out of chandos between trafalgar sq and leicester sq. I did check there was no cars anywhere, but I didn't see the police woman standing in my path. So yes, first day commute, got stopped straight away. She gave me a lecture ending with "don't do it again" and let me go.

i'm suprised the po-po caught up with lpg he's fast dam fast

haha, what a brilliant thread, i will be sure to add to this if i ever get caught!

i got pulled over once for running a red. i heard the sirens and thought, "naw that can't be for me, what cop would bother pulling over a bike?" so i ignored and rode on. the cop car then cut in front of me and parked. i jumped the curb and thought, "geeze, that guy could have hit me. they should be more careful when they're parking!" and rode on. a few minutes later they pulled diagnoally in front of me again and opened the door so they were blocking the pavement, too. i then realised, "oh. shit. that's all been for me" so i stopped.

i got a nice little lecture from the cop, which ended with, "if you're going to run a red light, at least don't do it in front of a police car." and they let me go with no fines. never one to disobey authority, i now look for cops before i run reds.

there are a few threads on this i think, but this actually happened to me today and the cop asked me if i wanted him to "scrape my remains off the road with a fork and mail them to my parents." i managed not to talk back.. but what a weirdo. a fork?

A fork? I would have thought some kind of wallpaper scraper might be more practical. Or a sheet of scrap metal or something.

@supersim65 - do you not want to tell your running a red light and getting chased by the police story? ;-)

the fork is to hurt you even more ... real torture methods here in britain, innit?

@supersim65 - do you not want to tell your running a red light and getting chased by the police story? ;-)

Instant classic.

can someone post a picture of this?

Meh.....I run reds every single day on the way to work, if you're paying so little attention that you can't make out a bright fucking police car in the middle of traffic, then you're probably not paying enough attention to safely jump the red. I got pulled once in the middle of the crap xmas alleycat last year, I saw them and thought fuck it, i'm going too fast to not jump the red now as it was close, me an my race partner thought we had got away with it but they came flying up to him and pulled him over, bollocking him for about 5 minutes, I got away with a sarcastic comment along the lines of "you're not gonna live long doing that mate" I just nodded and carried on, I think we finished 8th or 9th out of 40 or so people, I was quite happy with that :)

the fork is to hurt you even more ... real torture methods here in britain, innit?

Instant classic.

can someone post a picture of this?

It's not the best photo ever...

1 Attachment

Meh.....I run reds every single day on the way to work, if you're paying so little attention that you can't make out a bright fucking police car in the middle of traffic, then you're probably not paying enough attention to safely jump the red.

A friend of mine was once arrested in the city for jumping a red by a foot officer who basically commandeered a van and told the driver to chase down the bike.
It's not just the cars you need to watch out for.

they shine red? since when?

i don't get this fork thing, typical police making the job harder than it is

Overtime innit. If they used a shovel it'd take them 10 mins max to scrape you off the road. Using a fork means it takes hours and they can all claim for the overtime.

I thought it would be with a spoon. Why with a spoon? Ask Alan Rickman.

I managed to outrun a couple in the city once. I jumped a red they were on the opposite side. They turned round after me. Sirens out, pedaling with their fat little legs. Couple of turns down a one way, down an alleyway and I was off. Not sure what they thought they were going to achieve. They were never going to catch me. I was lucky it was the city as I knew exactly where to go to get away from them. Would love to be chased through the West End by some on pushbikes. But nowadays, with their death squad like tactics, it could be a little risky

A friend of mine was once arrested in the city for jumping a red by a foot officer who basically commandeered a van and told the driver to chase down the bike.
It's not just the cars you need to watch out for.

Cars, bikes, vans etc.....you just need to be aware really.

there are a few threads on this i think, but this actually happened to me today and the cop asked me if i wanted him to "scrape my remains off the road with a fork and mail them to my parents." i managed not to talk back.. but what a weirdo. a fork?

This really winds me up!
Its "with a spatula" any self repesting bully knows that expression "they'll have to scrape you off the floor with a spatula". They let anyone into the force these days :(

I've been stopped once by a motorcycle policeman. He did the whole siren and flashing lights and then gave me the lecture - starting with "what are those funny lollypop-like light shaped things back there?" and ending with the spatula question. He was v.narky but didn't give me a ticket as I did the whole "yes-hociffer,no-hociffer,three-bags-full hoccifer spiel" like a good citizen.

A couple of days later I went through the same lights and then hit a pothole, then the kerb and landed flat on my face on the pavement in front of a pair of bobbies on the beat. Cue laughter and "that'll serve you right, you tit" from the oldest...

This really winds me up!
Its "with a spatula" any self repesting bully knows that expression "they'll have to scrape you off the floor with a spatula". They let anyone into the force these days :(

hahaha, 'any self respecting bully'! hahah

one time was rolling slowly on my bike between people down the Bow Lane, a small shopping pedestriants-only alley just off Cheapside, during a busy lunch time only because I thought that Ill take less space on the bike than if I walk and push my bike on my side and suddenly one gentlemen, who was walking from in front, pulled out a police badge from behind his suite jacket and said to me calmly "don't cycle on the pavement"... so I just dismounted kindly and walked on
he took me by suprise in other words..
The other time I was cycling down the Bishopsgate throught the junction with Liverpool Rd and I was pretty much sure I had green, then suddenly one copper who was waiting at the crossing started walking onto the road trying to cut me of, pointing the finger at me and shouting something.. something that I couldnt hear cos I had my headphones on.. so I started slowing down, and suddenly he just walked back to the pavement without saying anything.. seeing what I assumed he mistaken something and realized that i PROBABLY had green and I drove off with fast heartbeat... mysterious to me cos I didnt know what was he on about... hmm