Epic win

Putting the bins out this morning, find a £5 note on the floor.

Close the thread.

#fingerthingmeansmoney

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WfZuNceFDM&t=1s

my mum found a £50 note walking the dog at the park last week.

given the sketchiness of the park after dark there's like a 95% chance it's someone drug deal money.

Nice, hope she spent it on a little toot herself.

once I was late for an important meetup as I'd been swimming with my cousins at the pool and lost track of time, I was running to the bus stop which would have got me there but about 30 minutes late with a good chance the person i was meeting having left by then and this being pre-mobile era for most people no way of letting them know.

out of the corner of my eye i saw a flash of purple so turned around and saw it was a £20. this meant i could get a taxi and be there bang on time, so i went into a shop to treat myself to a can of coke and some sweets on the way to the cab rank.

I arrive on time, pay the taxi and meet the person as planned, I proceed to tell them about my excellent luck and reach in my pocket to find the remaining tenner from my haul only to realise it had fallen out of my pocket in the taxi.

a better man than I might have seen this as the universe making sure I got what i needed to be where i was supposed to be. personally I'm still fucking livid that I lost a tenner 26 odd years later.

"found it"

Clearly, your mum's dealing.

“Erm mum, where did you get all this cash?”

“found it in the park...”

as a bipolar bear with addictive personality she's much more likely to have been the buyer than the seller so it'd be more like "lost another £50 down the park".

You could make up a story about that tenner, the bloke who found it on the way to the hospital to visit his mum and used it to buy her some flowers and the fiver change he dropped in the hospital car park, which was found by a nurse on their way home after a long day who treated herself to a ready meal rather than having to cook, but dropped a quid change on the way out of the supermarket, which was found by a kid who used it to buy their younger sibling a chocolate bar by way of an apology for getting them in trouble, but dropped 1p change on the floor, which was pointed out by a parent to a stroppy toddler who happily clutched it all day because it brought them luck.

all i'm getting from that is I'm out one bunch of flowers, a ready meal, more chocolate and i could have thrown a penny at a small child who was being annoying.

lol

I think the Conservative party are advertising for a new Puppy-kicker-in-chief if you're looking for work.

hey the only puppy i kick is my benny and that's because the little dickhead likes to sneak up on the bed when i'm asleep and lay right next to my foot so everytime i move a muscle he gets donked.

I was on a walk with my dad once in Devon I think, and I found a few quid and bits of change on the floor. I was thrilled. Then I found some more and I thought it was christmas. Then I found a fiver and shit went through the roof. I was 6 maybe, this was lots of sweet. I was now running ahead on the path with eyes fixed down, determined to find some more. Low and fucking behold there was £10! I'm basically uncontrollably excited. So many sweets. Keep going - £20!!!! This is the best day of my life. My Dad starts to look a bit uncomfortable. Can I really be allowed to keep all of this? Anyway, I'm screeching along the path looking for more treasure. Only to find a lady's purse. Clearly it had been half falling from her bag, leaving a trail of money and then finally the purse itself hopped out. I have never known a sadness like my Dad telling me we had to put all the money back in the purse and hand it in to the police. Tears for days and I'm not sure I've really got over the grieving for those sweets...

my uncle (by marriage not blood) was the tightest arsehole you could ever meet, when i was about 10 i sold him my NES and games because I was getting a mega drive and he was too tight to buy my cousins a new console. he paid me a tenner at a time every time i saw him until there was about £40 owing and the cunt magically never had any money on him or would say "well i buy you sweets sometimes don't i" when i told him he owed me money.

anyways he like a ramble (because walking = free) and once while walking along a canal with my two young cousins one of them needed a piss so stepped off the path and found a carrier bag full of rolled up bank notes easily worth a couple of grand.

the kids can't believe their luck. all the shit they've been told they could never afford is actually in reach, but the dad insists they hand it into the police and takes it off them.

apparently "handing it into the police" means spending the entire lot down the pub over the next couple of months, not one penny went into the household nor did my cousins even get a treat out of it.

Fuck. You're telling me my Dad drank that lady's money, cloned her bankcard and bought his fancy lady stockings aren't you?

There's a murder ballad in that. :)

bought his fancy lady stockings aren't you?

Do you mean he bought stockings for his fancy lady, or that the fancy lady stockings were his?

No judgement either way, obvs (assuming the fancy lady is your ma).

Lol

Hundreds of years ago I did a bike trip from Hampshire to Essex with a mate. I only had a weekend job and went to collect my money from work a few days before. On the 6 mile ride home my slippery wage packet threw itself out my jeans pocket so I had next to no cash for the bike trip.
Ffwd to the trip and we are riding through Epping Forest and I spy a wallet on the road. Inside was no ID but about the same amount of money I had lost from work.
Well, what would you do?

Throw it up in the air.
If it comes down it’s yours, if it doesn’t it never was.

my wife found a £5k watch once, handed it into the police and they told her to keep it as they don't accept lost property that isn't easily traceable. that's a proper win

I once found a penny on the floor

See a penny... Pick it up...

...get run over by a bus.

Sounds like a lazy police officer/front desk staff. They don't do any tracing, they hold it for 4 weeks to see if anyone claims it, then it's yours. Which would have likely happened anyway, so still a win.