"Oh Shit" moments...

Normally I'm quite good at restisting your/you're pedantry, but this one is pushing the envelope.

sorry my written English is poor.

It's easy as hell!
Use 'you're' and not 'your' where you could have also used you are.

If in doubt say it aloud before typing it.

If in doubt say it aloud before typing it.

My daughter keeps asking me what cunt means now.

sorry my written English is poor.

There's nothing to apologise for, your meaning was clear, but from the way the words happened to fall together I now have an image in my head of cyclist looking over his shoulder and seeing his own bottom unfolding. Perhaps after a strong curry.

It's really my mind that's the problem here, more than your written English.

If in doubt say it aloud before typing it.

That doesn't apply to must of/must've

That's also easy. You would say "I have gone to ..." rather than "I of gone to ..." and similarly it's "I must have gone to ..." not "I must of gone to ..."

My daughter keeps asking me what cunt means now.

Luckily all four of my children are well aware of that word as their father is a devout one.

There's nothing to apologise for, your meaning was clear, but from the way the words happened to fall together I now have an image in my head of cyclist looking over his shoulder and seeing his own bottom unfolding. Perhaps after a strong curry.

It's really my mind that's the problem here, more than your written English.

hmmm, i have read it back and I see what you meant now . made me chuckle.

Nearest near-miss I've had in a while this morning - riding along Kennington Road, at the junction with Kennington Lane/the Imperial War Museum. I'm in the centre lane going straight over towards Waterloo, with a green light. I see a white van man about to turn right across my path, so feather my brakes slightly to avoid him. Didn't count on the fact that there'd be an Audi tailgaiting him about to t-bone me. Shouted loudly and swerved and then rode slowly to work with adrenaline shakes. I can't even rant about it on twitter because my mum follows me and it'd just upset her...

^ Dang, I'm glad you escaped that one.

I had a similar near-miss when heading straight across a roundabout on my old commute, which was just horrible riding on my part. I assumed the two cars approaching the roundabout at the exit on my right would turn left (i.e. onto my road) so I entered the roundabout at pace. They were actually flying straight over and therefore right across my path (with right of way). By chance I slipped into the small gap between them and, miraculously, appeared the other side without collision. I rode philosophically for the rest of the day.

I rode philosophically for the rest of the day.

.

Was riding east from battersea on the north side of the river. Some idiot decides she doesnt have to queue with the other cars and jumps into the bike lane last minute and nearly hits me. She carried on behind us so I stopped, shouted a bit at her and forced her to rejoin the queue with the other cars. Idiot

Yesterday evening, cycling up the middle, just coming up to the junction by Euston station (south side), two pedestrians dart out from traffic, both heads turned to the other way. Shouted and they nearly got out the way, but smashed my shoulder into one of them pretty hard, still sore today.

If I'd come off the bike, would have ended up faceplanting a bus, but still felt bad for the ped, suppose it's hardly second nature for most people to check oncoming traffic up the middle - although there was enough space for motorbikes to come up and past...

My daughter keeps asking me what cunt means now.

lol

That doesn't apply to must of/must've

The rest of what I said does.

That's also easy. You would say "I have gone to ..." rather than "I of gone to ..." and similarly it's "I must have gone to ..." not "I must of gone to ..."

This.

Riding Cable Street mid-afternoon yesterday... so many attempted pedestrian suicides

Coming through the middle of Chester yesterday afternoon past the Grosvenor Museum from the roundabout.

Not going that fast to be honest; guy steams up to this give way on this side road, doesn't bother to look right when pulling out, narrowly misses a Transit van slowing down for the lights who has no other option but to swerve onto the curb leaving me to slam straight into the side of him.

I caught up with this idiot later on when he was trying to reverse parallel park into a space which blatantly wasn't big enough for his car and gave him a short lesson on using his eyes.

I might add that about 30 seconds after this incident took place, a Police car came up the other way through the lights, having missed the entire thing... bloody typical!

"Steaming guy" sounds like a cnut. But so does "Transit man" - he did have an option other than swerving into the curb without being aware what he'd be crushing - he should have barrelled into "Steaming guy" and allowed evolution to take it's course.

Riding Cable Street mid-afternoon yesterday... so many attempted pedestrian suicides

I hated that road and the hazards so much I started using the A13

Last week was "fun". I was cycling on my new fixed on a bicycle path towards the pub when suddenly someone else on a bicycle came out of an alley on the bicycle path but went on my side of the road. I just finished putting it together and the chain tension was just a bit too loose. I tried to skid while going 55KM/h on my GPS (34MPh for you people from the island) and my chain went off my front chainring and instantly got stuck on my cog. my rear wheel blocked and I had no alternative but hope and pray. next to me cars were driving by and I managed to stay on the big while passing the guy driving towards my on my side of the road with a gap between me and the cars with only 5cm (about 2 inches) between me and the cyclist and the same width between me and the car that was coming towards me. I managed to stay on the bicycle. there is a flat piece on my bicycle but that is all.

On the way back from the pub I was driving slower. I had to do a 90 degrees turn to go into a tunnel. I'm still missing a part but suddenly I was laying on the ground. My jacket is ruined, I have bruises all over my body and I was bleeding on both my legs, my arms, my belly, shoulders and other places. And worst of all, my watch got ruined!

I'm off now, I was just informed that my helmet got delivered to the shop.

I hated that road and the hazards so much I started using the A13

There's no excuse for cycling on Cable Street if you are part was competent / confident.

Except for the massive cunt on the Pearson Touche.

"What Cat racer are you? I've been racing for years, I know how to cycle safely."

Shit munching putrescing cock dribble.

I tried to skid while going 55KM/h on my GPS (34MPh for you people from the island) and my chain went off my front chainring and instantly got stuck on my cog.

Everyone knows you need to be going at least 35mph so that doesn't happen.

Cruising with the top down on the low-low.

Dropped a penny from my baggy pants.
Momentary lapse of concentration, pulled the emergency brake, did a barrel roll.

Ghanaian women scream "LORD MERCY BE CAREFUL CHIL'"

I say "I'm no child, i'm a grown man!" pick up penny, roll off on the pavement.

You look like a child.

On the way back from the pub I was driving

There's your problem.