"Oh Shit" moments...

I've come close to sheep (boom tish) a few times.. Devil Ride doing 70kph+ and one decided to run across the road rather than away from the road.. that was a clenching moment.

A young lad sprinted into the road in front of me, trying to catch his bus. I hit him hard at 20mph or so, he went flying, and I went sliding down the road on my elbow and hip. FUcking bloody and painful. Kid was fine though. Just bounced up onto his feet, apologized and ran after his bus!

Large alsatian jumping out of a hedge at me and Sparky on an otherwise peaceful ride on country roads. Chased us for maybe 100 yards before getting bored and turning back. Dogs are fast! I maintain it just wanted to play but at the time I was shitting it that it was going to take a running jump at my wheels or something..

Not so much an OHSHIT! moment but an ohh, *shit *moment last night.
I was waiting at the lights at Clapham North on the way home and this big guy pulls up next to me on a hybrid, with nice wheels and stuff, which I start idly checking out (habit, I need to get out more). I notice something weird - his bars are cut down, but only the right one, and it's only about 4 inches long, with a bell and cyclecomputer on it. It may seem obvious to you why this was, and it did to me approximately three seconds after I opened my fat gob and said "dude, what happened to your handlebars?!". Staring straight ahead, he said "I've only got one", and thankfully before I said "yer but why" I realised that he in fact only had one arm, necessitating only one handlebar. His right arm was missing, a fact I did not ascertain at first because he was side on to me. I opened my mouth to jabber an apology but the only word "dude" fell shakily out again, as I turned to beetroot; the lights changed and he pumped off. I am very sorry Mr Man With One Arm. I'm a hopelessly inquisitive cunt who opens his mouth when he really should be minding his own business.

Watch out for the "Man With One Arm"..

Not so much an OHSHIT! moment but an ohh, *shit *moment last night.
I was waiting at the lights at Clapham North on the way home and this big guy pulls up next to me on a hybrid, with nice wheels and stuff, which I start idly checking out (habit, I need to get out more). I notice something weird - his bars are cut down, but only the right one, and it's only about 4 inches long, with a** bell** and cyclecomputer on it. It may seem obvious to you why this was, and it did to me approximately three seconds after I opened my fat gob and said "dude, what happened to your handlebars?!". Staring straight ahead, he said "I've only got one", and thankfully before I said "yer but why" I realised that he in fact only had one arm, necessitating only one handlebar. His right arm was missing, a fact I did not ascertain at first because he was side on to me. I opened my mouth to jabber an apology but the only word "dude" fell shakily out again, as I turned to beetroot; the lights changed and he pumped off. I am very sorry Mr Man With One Arm. I'm a hopelessly inquisitive c*nt who opens his mouth when he really should be minding his own business.

So how was he planning on ringing the bell?

Egg-fuckin-sactly. No wonder I was confused. Perhaps he is dead good at none handed.

Egg-f*ckin-sactly. No wonder I was confused. Perhaps he is dead good at none handed.

You should have asked him. In for a penny and all that.....

That one arm looked powerful. I already felt I was overdue a knuckle sandwich...

HAAA! That's amazing

Very quick 'oh shit' moment before it ended in me coming off. Last night on my way home i was going down a short but seriously steep hill (brakeless, coz i'm cool) i some how managed to get my foot in between the fork and front wheel, which within a milli second chucked me about 3 metre's down the hill to be picked up by an old lady (bless her). Only cuts and bruises and a slightly buckled front wheel, but it's the first time i have ever come off.

Large alsatian jumping out of a hedge at me and Sparky on an otherwise peaceful ride on country roads. Chased us for maybe 100 yards before getting bored and turning back. Dogs are fast! I maintain it just wanted to play but at the time I was shitting it that it was going to take a running jump at my wheels or something..

Yes they are fast, reminds me of being chased by a pack of Dingos/Wild dogs in the bush in Oz at night last year. Fuckers don't bark and first I knew of their presence was a shadow hurtling head height out of the bush at me. I swerved sharp, ran off the road on the opposite side and through blind luck didn't fall off in the gravel. I managed to get back on the tarmac and spun my little gear for all I was worth but 100rpm was about 21mph so I couldn't go very fast. It was night and the moon was very low so I couldn't see much but when I looked back when there was some moonlight on the road I saw a few of the fuckers right behind, ears pinned back, flat out after me. I started to leave them behind going as fast as I could for as long as I could until I was seeing stars and feeling sick. I backed off thinking I was safe and eventually my breathing started to calm and I could hear something other than my own heart beating in my ears.... and there it was the scratching noise of dogs claws sprinting along the ground behind me. I was in the middle of nowhere, hadn't seen another car in hours and was properly scared about what I would do if I ran out of steam before they did. It's impossible to describe just how much I was bricking it. But as luck would have it about 10km after the initial encounter I saw some light in the distance which turned out to be a campfire of some people camping near the side of the road which I aimed for safety. They laughed at me when I rolled up and told them of my 'adventures', thought I was talking shit but they weren't laughing later. One of the girls went behind a sand bank to take a wizz but came running back screaming after some dogs appeared just as she was dropping her shorts.

I was pretty lucky, inspecting my bike in the morning, when I ran off the road with the impact I'd broken 3 of 4 pannier clips, sheared a bolt holding the rack and torn a gaping hole in the sidewall of the tyre. I've no idea how it held together - If the drop had been just a little bigger, or there was another bump on the road and I'd have been fooked. A few days later in the local news, it was reported a body was found half eaten by dingos and the post mortem couldn't determine whether being eaten was the cause of death or not so I guess they have a taste for it...

I've had a few spills on my bike, like being sandwiched between two cars, smashing into a car that pulled out in front when doing 25+ but that was the only time in my life I felt pure almost paralysing fear.
OK and breathe....

Yes they are fast, reminds me of being chased by a pack of Dingos/Wild dogs in the bush in Oz at night last year. Fuckers don't bark and first I knew of their presence was a shadow hurtling head height out of the bush at me. I swerved sharp, ran off the road on the opposite side and through blind luck didn't fall off in the gravel. I managed to get back on the tarmac and spun my little gear for all I was worth but 100rpm was about 21mph so I couldn't go very fast. It was night and the moon was very low so I couldn't see much but when I looked back when there was some moonlight on the road I saw a few of the fuckers right behind, ears pinned back, flat out after me. I started to leave them behind going as fast as I could for as long as I could until I was seeing stars and feeling sick. I backed off thinking I was safe and eventually my breathing started to calm and I could hear something other than my own heart beating in my ears.... and there it was the scratching noise of dogs claws sprinting along the ground behind me. I was in the middle of nowhere, hadn't seen another car in hours and was properly scared about what I would do if I ran out of steam before they did. It's impossible to describe just how much I was bricking it. But as luck would have it about 10km after the initial encounter I saw some light in the distance which turned out to be a campfire of some people camping near the side of the road which I aimed for safety. They laughed at me when I rolled up and told them of my 'adventures', thought I was talking shit but they weren't laughing later. One of the girls went behind a sand bank to take a wizz but came running back screaming after some dogs appeared just as she was dropping her shorts.

I was pretty lucky, inspecting my bike in the morning, when I ran off the road with the impact I'd broken 3 of 4 pannier clips, sheared a bolt holding the rack and torn a gaping hole in the sidewall of the tyre. I've no idea how it held together - If the drop had been just a little bigger, or there was another bump on the road and I'd have been fooked. A few days later in the local news, it was reported a body was found half eaten by dingos and the post mortem couldn't determine whether being eaten was the cause of death or not so I guess they have a taste for it...

I've had a few spills on my bike, like being sandwiched between two cars, smashing into a car that pulled out in front when doing 25+ but that was the only time in my life I felt pure almost paralysing fear.
OK and breathe....

Christ, I thought that Alsatian was scary. It was alright for you, Dan - the bugger had it in for me. He'd seen my legs in those little shorts and he wanted a bite...

Watch out for the "Man With One Arm"..

My old man only has one arm... what are you trying to say?

Television/Movie recognition fail.

velonoir, don't be thick.

Join Date: 30th June 2009

I think you need to hold off the posting until you've got a feel for the violent personal attacks forum.

My old man only has one arm... what are you trying to say?

He would find full-time work at a casino?

carbon steerers rule!

carbon steerers rule!

?

i find i don't have oh shit moments as much as i have "YOU CUNT!" moments.

From Pugsley thread...

From favourite cycling photos thread...