"Oh Shit" moments...

Repost. But a good one.

^^Ha!

Riding offroad with a friend near Brighton we approached a gate. It was a narrow trail so when I unclipped I'd have to put my foot and lower leg into nettles but I had in my mind that it would be some sort of ancient Navajo remedy for the pain in my calves so was relatively sanguine.

Unfortunately the nettles concealed a badgers set, cover in a wide metal grille. Plunging in knee deep, I toppled pretty fast into the 6 feet high nettles. Luckily the shock and resulting full right side sting from the nettles was offset by my friends laughter. With great dignity I declined his kind offer of pissing on me to neutralise the sting.

Barely 5 minutes later we reacher a waist high fence. Lifting my bike over I brushed the wire with the front of my shorts and electrocuted my penis; the smell of roast pork apparently wafted across two counties.

Returning home to my wife after a weekend in Brighton covered in welts and with a scorched chap, resulted in some interesting conversations along the lines "I really don't mind, just be honest with me".

I may not have understood this thread.

With great dignity I declined his kind offer of pissing on me to neutralise the sting.

I thought that was jellyfish stings?

Coming to a set of traffic lights and this happened...

That happened to me a couple of weeks ago, only the sole completely detached. It's at moments like that you really appreciate that you're not riding brakeless. Oh, wait...

This is an old oh shit moment from when I was wee, but around the age of 10 or so I was riding around on my mountain bike and I saw a little mound of dirt and thought "yeah I'm going to use that as a ramp sick skillzzz". Turns out there was a 4 or so foot drop after that little ramp, so I in the air tried to get off the bike I guess, but just managed to take my feet off the pedals so landed genitals first onto my top tube. My johnson was blue for about a week...

these people that claim they last years are the people that get their 2k mountain bikes out to roll around the park a sunday a month ;)

nerged

Shit, how did you manage to stop?

pushed down fucking hard with my left leg then pulled a massan

Riding offroad with a friend near Brighton we approached a gate. It was a narrow trail so when I unclipped I'd have to put my foot and lower leg into nettles but I had in my mind that it would be some sort of ancient Navajo remedy for the pain in my calves so was relatively sanguine.

Unfortunately the nettles concealed a badgers set, cover in a wide metal grille. Plunging in knee deep, I toppled pretty fast into the 6 feet high nettles. Luckily the shock and resulting full right side sting from the nettles was offset by my friends laughter. With great dignity I declined his kind offer of pissing on me to neutralise the sting.

Barely 5 minutes later we reacher a waist high fence. Lifting my bike over I brushed the wire with the front of my shorts and electrocuted my penis; the smell of roast pork apparently wafted across two counties.

Returning home to my wife after a weekend in Brighton covered in welts and with a scorched chap, resulted in some interesting conversations along the lines "I really don't mind, just be honest with me".

I may not have understood this thread.

An oh shit day?

my carbon steerer has been making weird noises recently

I think the beer just ran out.

A true "Oh shit!" moment... Man, I've been there.

Purple shite it is/

It seems to be called Chambord and is in a posh box, I feel a little bad just necking it.

Ah, drinkers remorse... Don't worry about giving yourself grief; the wife will take care of that when she gets home from work.

True, still need to drop the little'n off though. I'm tempted to fit in and be a minor past of robbing some safe.

True, still need to drop the little'n off though. I'm tempted to fit in and be a minor past of robbing some safe.

This makes no sence. Win!

^Must spread rep etc...

Riding my most expensive bike which doesn't go out much, I'm patiently waiting in a queue of traffic, with an ambulance behind me (you can see where this is going).

I wanted to turn right and there was plenty of room for me to overtake the cars, so I turned round and gave the ambulance a loooong hard look to check it wasn't going to pull any of it's woop woop I'm an ambulance get out of my way shit. It's doing nothing, and it's been chilling in the traffic all the way down the road.

But sure enough half a second after I pull out and BWOOOOOOOOOFUCKYOOOOOOOOOU, rapidly accelerating ambulance right up my arse and I have to do a sketchy skid dodge back into the queue.

woop woop im an ambulance fucked you up soory to hear but bloody hirarious

This is an old oh shit moment from when I was wee, but around the age of 10 or so I was riding around on my mountain bike and I saw a little mound of dirt and thought "yeah I'm going to use that as a ramp sick skillzzz". Turns out there was a 4 or so foot drop after that little ramp, so I in the air tried to get off the bike I guess, but just managed to take my feet off the pedals so landed genitals first onto my top tube. My johnson was blue for about a week...

Be glad it just went blue. A mate stacked it on the vert ramp when we were younger. Blood came pouring out of his urethra. I haven't ridden a vert ramp since.

when I was about 9 or so, i was at Judo class and my mate got kicked in the nuts, it split something and there was loads of blood, all over his white judo gi. Incidentally he had a massive dong so it was an easy target.

I remember a skateboard video which featured someone who split their urethra bailing on a rail. They ended up having two tubes with taps on the end coming out of their lower abdomen, one yellow, one red. Temporary, I think, but ffffuuuuu.

I was coming down the hill into the next town and a car decides to stop half way down (quite abruptly) to give way... not realizing that there was a MASSIVE lorry carrying trees right behind it going at at least 35/40mph... the lorry was in the process of overtaking me and it had to slam on, actually locking up its wheels and skidding... If that lorry skidded out of control I would have been fucked as I was right beside it :s