"Oh Shit" moments...

..and don't call me Shirly.

Is it not.

..and don't call him Shirly.

If he's not Shirly and neither are you, who is Shirly?

You know Shirly, the one with the eyes.

And the hair and stuff.

Being a driving instructor counts as having one in your car, though.

Also, people don't check their bloody mirrors, even though it's not hard, and even when they're not called Shirley. I cycled to work for about a mile a couple of weeks ago behind a dude driving his car along with his nearside wing mirror still folded in, for fuck's sake. Could have overtaken him at any point but didn't want to risk him overtaking me again later. I was going to ask him if he wanted me to fold it out for him at the first set of traffic lights we approached but he turned off somewhere else so I didn't get the opportunity. He wasn't checking his rearview mirror much either.

This is one of those circumstances where, instead of becoming cross about what other people should be doing, I'd prefer to note that they're not doing what they should be doing and keep as far away from them as possible.

Nearly run down by a skip lorry today, in a car park, behind the office. He looked quite sheepish as we both stopped at the same gate. I spoke to the security guards and got the name of the company, as the driver just gave me a grunt. Just fired off a complaint. Jokers.

One of my bar end plugs has been missing for a while now and my grips are getting quite worn.

One of the grips decided to just slip off as I was going around a corner last night.

That's all the persuasion I need to get to the shops, thankyou very much.

Oh, and I swear that cars have learnt to teleport - either that or I'm blind and didn't notice the people carrier hurtling up the hill in the dark, headlights blazing as I pulled out of a side road to turn right down the very same hill.

I think it's more that people are employing the "fuck it" attitude to everything.
Lights turn to red? Fuck it, keep going. 30mph speed limit? Fuck it, 50mph. Someone else can think of the children

That's all the persuasion I need to get to the shops and buy lock-on grips, thankyou very much.

FTFY, lock-ons FTW. no wearing your palms out trying to slide normal grips on/off.

Lock-ons = advanced technology. So much easier.

So, some kind person decided to dig a nice trough and pile the dirt in a big hump right across a little dirt track that I use fairly regularly.....as I approached at 25mph, according to garmin, I see the hump, adjust my speed to ride over it, not see the trough, lose my front wheel sideways and stuff into the gravelly mud....fuckin ouch.
I've got a big lump on left elbow and it's cut( through 3 layers), a big graze/gouge on left knee and a pain deep in my right shoulder...
I need to find out if it's a bridle way now.....I'm sure it is though.
I nearly fucked up L'eroica.....

Saboteur?

Should have bunnyhopped.

Probably kids making jumps.

Just checked....it's a fucking road!

Sabs, for sure.....I think it's the people who live on the corner.

And I didn't see it, or I would have tried!

A mate of mine was riding in the peaks and came across a line of hay across the road. It was covering a line of 1" caltrops. He was bloody glad he got off.

FTFY, lock-ons FTW. no wearing your palms out trying to slide normal grips on/off.

Lock-ons = advanced technology. So much easier.

Yeah, ended up with the Charge ones for ~£11 from Cycle Surgery, down from a rather ridiculous £20ish

Got clotheslined by a thread across the road this evening.

Fucking spiders.

Also, nearly wiped out by a boy racer coming at me head on after they came racing through this width restriction on the wrong side of the road at 30+mph (20 limit). Unfortunately, it was too dark for me to even work out what colour the car was, let alone a get a make/model or a plate.

Nearly run down by a skip lorry today, in a car park, behind the office. He looked quite sheepish as we both stopped at the same gate. I spoke to the security guards and got the name of the company, as the driver just gave me a grunt. Just fired off a complaint. Jokers.

Got a reply:

Morning Matthew

I trust you are well?
Having interviewed our driver, he has apologised for his rather aggressive driving this morning .
Please accept my apologies, we take these incident very seriously and having spoken to him this is less than the standards we expect

He has been given a formal warning over this standard of behaviour .The excuse was that he was late as the building has a strict timing schedule this is not an acceptable reason for this standard of driving.

Once again please accept our apologises.

If you wish to discuss this further please contact me.

Kind Regards

XXXXXX XXXXXXXX

Well it was about time for something to happen, my commutes have been suspiciously uneventful for a while. So, last night whilst yomping up a steepish hill in the rain and dark a yoot leans out of the passenger window of a passing hot hatch and lobs a Mac dee shake at me. Totally unexpected so I kind of flinch and get a bit unbalanced wobble to the right and get clipped on the back of the head by the wing mirror of the small truck following the yootmobile. God knows how I stayed up, the truck driver stopped and offered to be witness. So called the police, but the number came back as no trace, even though both me and the driver had clocked it. Police very helpful but it looks like false plates. Bastards! At least the rain washed most of the shake off me by the time I got home.

^ Which flavour milkshake?

^ Which flavour milkshake?

Not afraid to ask the really important questions.

"oh shake" moments >>>>>>>>>>>