Tips for polo

hand-over-face-fingers-shaking-weird-noise-thing

top tip for beginners: grow a beard*

*in the event that this is not possible many hair dressers will supply you with hair clippings from the floor for a small fee, these can be crafted in to a beard with the aid of pritt stick.

top tip for beginners: grow a beard*

*in the event that this is not possible many hair dressers will supply you with hair clippings from the floor for a small fee, these can be crafted in to a beard with the aid of pritt stick.

My girlfriend was supposed to make a 'faux-lo' beard for the BFF, unfortunately it never materialised... one day

sort out your gearing
make sure you can stop
play more
think about how you play

On a more serious note I think the best way to get better is to play beginners, play South, play North East, play tourneys, play solo polo.

The more you play and the more you play against varying skill levels the better you'll get.

bring your own packed lunch
drink plenty of water
get a good nights sleep

positioning in the court is the key

It is crucial to look good. In addition to a beard, you've got to wear proper cycle clothing. And cycle hats. One cannot play polo good without a cycle hat.

arrive at least an hour later than you said you would
describe your journey to polo in unnecessary detail
discuss mallets all the time
talk about a new part which still hasn't arrived
explain in detail your worst crash and how it wasn't your fault
complain about someone who is annoying you
praise someone for being a good player who you have barely seen play
leave in the dark and lose something

haha, awesome

Perhaps the most important thing is your alcohol equilibrium. Somewhere between 2-4 beers is generally the sweet spot. Skill level goes up after a few, but will decline precipitously after four or five.

obtain spirit animal

think of an animal you want to be your spirit animal, tell someone, have your dreams crushed, then they will give you your actual spirit animal

Get more tattoos.

I don't think Josh likes other polo players.

wake and bake.

Ahh, withdrawals. Getting a bit hashgry.

cap your brake cables

situation:
the ball is coming through your bottom bracket from the blind side

do a wheely anyway

Crimp!

Use your elbows.

miss an easy shot, look at your mallet with a concerned expression

Practice your ball joint. Make sure to get that down first.

Play the man, not the ball.

shoot, don't pass

use safety buffers