Top tip

quite sure.
and i am back in the game.
quitting is lame.

gus! cool it kiddo....

i listen to fred.
bye guys!

xox

Are you sure you're not scouse?

why did i bother reading this thread?
what is your problem with scousers?

goes to bed

Some of my best friends are gay black scousers

,.

1. If you eat your breakfast cereal with a fork you can reuse the milk for all sorts of things.
   
   

2.Make your tile grout shine like new by painting over it with tipex!

1. Put a dab of clear nail varnish on the buttons of a new shirt to fuse the threads together, then they'll never fall off!

2. A squeezed out toothpaste tube can be refilled with gravel to give a serviceable door wedge.

Never use cornflakes packets as snowshoes. After the first hundred meters or so, they will just go soggy and wont work very well.

If you lay on your arm until it goes numb, when you have a wank it feels like someone else is doing it!

If you lay on your cock until it goes numb, when you have a wank it feels like you're wanking someone else off.

If you lay on your wife until she goes numb, when you shag her, it feels like you're fucking someone else's wife

If you lay on your cock until it goes numb, when you have a wank it feels like you're wanking someone else off.

Top, top tip. HAHAHA!

never put you money on a horse called 'sad ken'

Do not try to catch wombles on Wimbledon common, they just don't exist!!

Always watch bottom

If you lay on your wife until she goes numb, when you shag her, it feels like you're fucking someone else's wife

Hang-on I thought laying on your wife untill she goes numb was shagging her!

picks up phone to check with mrs

your a dog anyway.

dogist

Do not try to catch wombles on Wimbledon common, they just don't exist!!

You mean there isn't a Wombleden in Wimbledon?

My shorld is wattered.

Now back to the tips..

Use Time ATACS, and HTFU.

my dad always tells me not to dance near men with moustaches in nightclubs i've never been to before.

he's moustachist though.

as for a real tip, if you're playing bridge and over-bid your hand, excuse yourself from the table, sneak out and cycle home. never return.

1. I f you only date girls with the same name you'll never call out the wrong one at a crucial moment
   
   

2.tonic water is good for indigestion, cramp and gin

3.salt will nearly always get the blood out.

1. I f you only date girls with the same name you'll never call out the wrong one at a crucial moment
   
   
   

Top tip - if you do happen to call out the wrong name at that crucial moment.....think fast.....follow it up with the words 'was never this good' and all will be well again.

Top tip - if you do happen to call out the wrong name at that crucial moment.....think fast.....follow it up with the words 'was never this good' and all will be well again

legend!

1. Make cheap but effective baby rattles by gluing a lollipop stick to an empty matchbox, then filling it with ten woodlice.

2. A length of plastic drainpipe with a roller skate at each end makes an ideal "car" for snakes.

3. Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.

4.Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

Many hearty lols from this site - http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/meltingpot/jinx/399/jokes/Stupid/Viz_Top_Tips.html

never attempt to juggle manure

When cooking with chilli one should wash ones hands before, as well as after, having a wee.

(I really mean this.)