2009-07-04 Sat - Dunwich Dynamo 2009

I am hoping to ride this - it is after all my gay exams.

So providing I get some legs before then I am there.

I am hoping to ride this - it is after all my gay exams.

I never realised you had to take an exam to be a homosexual, I thought it was just what you were.

What happens if you fail the exam? Now I understand what all the "gay curious" chat lines are for. People who failed their gay exam so are only allowed to be gay curious and not really gay.

Oh yes, it's only after the exam (and the oath) that they teach you the secret handshake and password.

I am hoping to ride this - it is after all my gay exams.

So providing I get some legs before then I am there.

fucking tedious now

If you fail your gay exams, do you have to go straight to work?

boom tish!

Oh yes, it's only after the exam (and the oath) that they teach you the secret handshake and password.

So the gaydar thing is just a myth. Really it's a secret handshake.

Right, I'm in. Will be fixed-wheelin' it.

Will have to consider the return trip later. Right now (full of at-laptop bravado) I'm thinking ride back to the smoke,* a few beers,* then train back home (Bedford).

• Insert possible kip time here? I'd appreciate any offers of floor space for a pair of hours.
  
  

If this chimes with anyone, do shout out. This post is subject to change when I get a grip of myself.

I have just discovered that I have to attend my elder daughter's school leaving ball that night.

My reaction to the news was unprintable.

A ball? God thats posh. Nothing like that in Lewisham.

;)

What high society circles you move in Clive. Do you *really *want to slum it with a bunch of ageing hipsters on bikes?

Actually, I'm going to have to do the DD this year. I told Corny that I would, and I'm not known as a liar. Shyza, it also means that have to put down a time (summer) for the Easties TT. I wonder if my time will be equivalent to my walking pace? Whatever it is, I predict I set an all time slow record. The Terry Wogan in a Reasonably Priced car, type of slow.

Also, my mate Dinky helps organise the f*cking thing. Maybe if I leave the day before, I will look like I was really quick. :))

Believe me, I would much prefer to be sweating and panting in a pro plus/Red Bull induced haze than dressed up to the nines in a posh tent with crap music with a bunch of people who I have failed to get to know in the seven years that she has been at the school and who I am not likely ever to see again and, at the end of the evening having to drive drunken wife and two daughters back to London in the wee small hours after witnessing teenaged girls in emotional outbursts over leaving the "freinds" about whom they have been bitching since they were 11.

Full fry up on the beach ftw.

Sadly in 2010 I have to do it all again for my younger daughter. Same time same place (unless the little angel can conspire to have herself expelled).

having to drive drunken wife and two daughters back to London

Clive on balance your wife does put up with you dragging her to out of the way boozers to watch grown men+women who should know better get drunk and race on static bikes.

It's all swings n roundabouts innit.

Furious - I race on the static bikes; she gets drunk. It's the deal ;o)

I have just discovered that I have to attend my elder daughter's school leaving ball that night.

My reaction to the news was unprintable.

Believe me, I would much prefer to be sweating and panting in a pro plus/Red Bull induced haze than dressed up to the nines in a posh tent with crap music with a bunch of people who I have failed to get to know in the seven years that she has been at the school and who I am not likely ever to see again and, at the end of the evening having to drive drunken wife and two daughters back to London in the wee small hours after witnessing teenaged girls in emotional outbursts over leaving the "freinds" about whom they have been bitching since they were 11.

Full fry up on the beach ftw.

Sadly in 2010 I have to do it all again for my younger daughter. Same time same place (unless the little angel can conspire to have herself expelled).

Nice try, Clive, but fortunately of course none of these excuses work for the DD, which you can start at any time of night. Quite a few people start at midnight, I believe, and later is certainly possible. You won't get any food at the feed stop but other than that it's all go. ;)

Sadly Oliver, I'll be in Ascot until gone 1:00 am and then have to drive said drunken spouse and off spring back to London. Would be no chance of starting until at least 3:00 am and probably later which is, in my book, too late. Looks like 2011.

sadly oliver, i'll be in ascot until gone 1:00 am and then have to drive said drunken spouse and off spring back to london. Would be no chance of starting until at least 3:00 am and probably later which is, in my book, too late. Looks like 2011.

HTFU, then. ;)

Sadly Oliver, I'll be in Ascot until gone 1:00 am and then have to drive said drunken spouse and off spring back to London. Would be no chance of starting until at least 3:00 am and probably later which is, in my book, too late. Looks like 2011.

...or you could drive to Dunwich, and turn up on the beach at 5am, with a barbeque and a pile of towels. You'd easily be the most popular man of the year. Or maybe the decade.

I'm also interested in doing this, but the farthest I've done is a mere 30 miles. Anyone fancy joint training? Would have to do it fixed - don't have another bike. Am also supposed to do the London -> Brighton charity run, but that's with work colleagues on MTBs, so shouldn't be too tough.

I'm also interested in doing this, but the farthest I've done is a mere 30 miles. Anyone fancy joint training? Would have to do it fixed - don't have another bike. Am also supposed to do the London -> Brighton charity run, but that's with work colleagues on MTBs, so shouldn't be too tough.

Ah, then the L2B can be your warm-up. If you can ride 65 miles under those conditions, you can easily manage 100 on better (and flatter) roads, with slightly more elbow room and slightly fewer idiots in tracksuits. You don't need to train too much - just commute, and do a couple of longish rides at weekends. (And don't think I'm being flippant - the first year I did the DD (and the first and last time L2B) I'd only started cycling in March.)

Ah, then the L2B can be your warm-up. If you can ride 65 miles under those conditions, you can easily manage 100 on better (and flatter) roads, with slightly more elbow room and slightly fewer idiots in tracksuits. You don't need to train too much - just commute, and do a couple of longish rides at weekends. (And don't think I'm being flippant - the first year I did the DD (and the first and last time L2B) I'd only started cycling in March.)

hmm, that sounds ok then. What would you class as a 'longish ride'? 50 miles? If it matters, my commute is 5miles each way, a few slight hills.

Just ride over to Richmond Park and try around 10 laps. If you manage that, you'll be ok.

It's not hard if you take it really gently in the first half and eat plenty, stay hydrated and be careful not to drink too much beer in the Essex pubs.

Once the dawn comes and the hallucinations kick in, you'll not want to be anywhere else. There are all kinds of people who do the ride each year, all ages, all manner of bikes - plenty of spongy Bromptons.

For the armchair experience, The Bike Show (a radio show I present) covered the rides in 04 and 08. Listen again here: 2004 and 2008

Someone made a lovely short film about the 08 ride but I can't find it online.

One bad thing that's been creeping into the ride over the past years is eager beavers leaving way too early. People, not before 9pm, please!! It's supposed to be a NIGHT ride.

hmm, that sounds ok then. What would you class as a 'longish ride'? 50 miles? If it matters, my commute is 5miles each way, a few slight hills.

50 miles sounds good. As I recall, I spent most of that heady first summer doing 50-60 mile rides out of London. Lovely way to spend a weekend. Ride to Oxford, ride to Cambridge, ride to Windsor, ride to Brighton, ride to Canterbury, or just pick a compass point and see where you end up. Just don't ride to Eastbourne.