Cricket

Wtf Alastair Cook. He's running scared. I'm afraid you don't stand a chance when your captain is so meek.

I'm in a 10/20/30/40/50 bet with a mate, so I'd rather you didn't win the last test.

Richie, if England win or draw the series you can join hippy for dinner and I'll pay. (Bodeans not the Dorchester)

it would need to be a wedding caterer.

how about a beer, either way? i'll pay.

So, fingers crossed these storms in Adalade clear up quickly. Only 284 runs behind with Monty still to bat. IN THE BAG.

Haha, take that Australia! Bet you didnt see this coming, right where we want you.

Oh England.

11 overs. Where are their fucking balls.

England tickerless.

Oh England.

11 overs. Where are their fucking balls.

short and 'round their ribcages...

another boycott classic on the beeb:

"You have got to make steady innings. When you get in later on, you can sometimes take the odd spinner on. But it is like chess - you can't win a chess game in the first few moves but you can sure as hell lose it."

Nice to wake up with four wickets down then get another but this could get away from England quickly if they keep scoring at this rate.

Good batting wicket but Johnson will be licking his lips seeing the bounce.

We've let it get away from us again, Haddin at the crease again. Fall of the next couple of wickets will turn this game I reckon.

Not happening
No wickets since breakfast ;(

Carbon copy of the last two. Clarke's weighted coin still doing the biz.

Throw the towel in, England. Go home to your queen and your fish n' chips ya wingers. #moustaches #casualracism

Oh well, I'm dead busy and don't really need to be distracted by cricket. Well done Australia, see you in 2015?

New ball soon. Mitchell crying out for some chin music.

Or we could just try and take ten wickets.

Carbon copy of the last two.

Yep. Lose toss > reasonable early start, a few wickets > middle order stand >

Still to come: Lower order blatting > lose England opener in first few overs > middle order collapse > 100-150 run deficit.

Low Aussie second innings score of 200 > good England start > lose 6 for 30 runs > match and Ashes gone.

Will probably then draw one and win the last.

3-1 Aussie.

It would be good to draw this one just to keep the series alive. Two whole dead rubbers for pride is woeful.

i'd prefer it to be over. i can't handle staying up during the night and then coming in to work.

I haven't called anyone a graceless twat.
Apart from Hippy, he has the grace of an elephant with dysentery and smells just as bad.

That's not the phrase you used when you ask me to 'throw it up you' the other night. You Englishmen, so fickle.

Hippy does stink.

He does. Stench jacket lives!

So, are we winning? I'm gonna get on the phone and have them throw a few matches (heard it's fashionable to do so in cricket) so I can get that food off RPM..

Quick get skyping before it's too late!

Well so far today it's been a bit better

Ffs