Christmas Presents

http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/play/snake-oil-supplements/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8721802

I got a pair of jeans (that i found) and a fragrance.

Basically the first pair of jeans that actually fits my big ass and legs I handed over so i could get something that i actually needed and wanted. I then promptly forgot i did so, so was super suprised to see i got what i wanted!

:-)

Iain, you have guns but stick legs, I bet you bought some jeggings.

Iain, you have guns but stick legs, I bet you bought some jeggings.

James, my thighs are bigger than your whole body

not seen me since my pure chocolate xmas diet

My thighs are too wide to fit my tartan PJ bottoms, and my guns are too big to fit my matching dressing gown.

Meh. More marzipan is needed.

Got this skirtguard made by Betty for my GF. It's amazing.

My thighs are too wide to fit my tartan PJ bottoms, and my guns are too big to fit my matching dressing gown.

Meh. More marzipan is needed.
lol...

I got Luella's Guide to English Style, vegan chocolates a-plenty, Terry Pratchett's latest, a bike helmet, a few other books and vouchers. Nice but mostly boring.

I got Bruce Forsyth's zest for life, a Cliff Richard calendar, The Collected Works of Jeffrey Archer and a nervous breakdown.

I did very well this year, no duds, a flite ti, ortleib saddle bag, coffee, socks, 100 greatest cycling climbs...

I booked my girlfriend a sausage making course at a butchers.

gotta be a euph ^

I got some cable cutters, a chain cleaner, and some money, tempted to buy a turbo trainer after all the shit i've eaten over the last 10 days... but would i use it??

Cross bibs and jersey, Rick Owens wallet, aeropress and a plethora of merino products.

No chocolate though.

Pratchett's latest

I only found out about the new book yesterday, do want.

I got a scarf from my sister, I think she's trying to implement some practical style on me. I've not worn a scarf since I was a kid.

A mug with the letter A on it, one pair of red socks, a mallet, two empty glass bottles.

I got a Harris tweed jacket. Better be able to get tickets for this year's ride now...

My presents this year were Middleburn chainset and a lambswool jumper.

Also I got to spend the festive season in Wales!

I don't have a mountainbike but I feel as though I should? XD

I got some cable cutters, a chain cleaner, and some money, tempted to buy a turbo trainer after all the shit i've eaten over the last 10 days... but would i use it??

No one uses turbos. They're evil torture devices sold as sports equipment.

This is all you need to know about turbos:

                                                                                                                                                                                              ***I'm selling this bastard thing because i HATE it. ***

I’m sure there are people out there who like or even have a perverse love affair with their turbo trainer. It might even attract some sort of love/hate duality. I know for a fact that some people, many of them ostensibly sane with some hideously rapid times to their name, view the turbo as the essential piece of training equipment. Personally, i’d rather rip my face off and dive into a bath of saline solution than use this horrible piece of apparatus. It’s utterly soul-destroying and mind-numbing, which is a pretty vicious combination.
The straw that broke the camel's back:
I thought i might do a ‘quick’ turbo session this evening. The reason being that the weather is pretty terrible and i hadn’t got the time to head down to the lake for the first race of the season. By the time i’d sorted out the rear turbo wheel by putting a tyre on and then pinching an inner tube, then changing the tyre and putting a new tube in, switching the cassette and setting up the bike and then setting up the computer with ‘The Flying Scotsman’ on the iplayer with headphones and subtitles (because of fearsome noise) to alleviate the dreadful and crushing ennui of it all and then got changed and put some water within reach and found my sweaty turbo towel that hasn’t been washed since the last time i dared to ride the bastard (turbo, not turbo towel) and wrestled with the quick release mechanism and then adjusted the height with a series of books under the front wheel by getting on and off about four times then adjusting the saddle height then going back and adjusting the resistance about 6 times with the manual turny thing, i’d wasted about 55 minutes. This was about as long as i intended to spend on the bastard piece of shit.
I managed about **11 minutes at about 70% of max **before two things happened. The iplayer began to freeze and unfreeze, robbing me of the only thing that helped me think that i wasn’t actually on the turbo, and then without warning the back wheel leapt out of the dropout clasps and i had to do an emergency unclip and braking manouevre ON THE GODDAMNED TURBO just to stay alive. i suddenly lurched towards the computer where Graeme Obree was riding off the front of some sort of Tour of the Scottish Prettylands in the early part of the film and very nearly ended up joining the crazed circular-breathing scotsman on the silver screen.
If you're made of far stronger stuff than I am, and I'm thinking Ivan Drago in Rocky 4 when he kills Apollo Creed to death - that sort of stronger stuff - and think you can handle the savage bestiality of the CYCLOPS WIND TURBO then please, please, please buy this **REPULSIVE ITEM.
**

**http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Cyclops-Turbo-Trainer-/221019888017http://rover.ebay.com/roverimp/1/710-53481-19255-0/1?ff3=2&pub=5574889051&toolid=10001&campid=5336525415&item=221019888017&mpt=[CACHEBUSTER]
**

^want

contact PJ but i don't think he checks lfgss much these days

http://www.lfgss.com/member75.html

I got Bruce Forsyth's zest for life, a Cliff Richard calendar, The Collected Works of Jeffrey Archer and a nervous breakdown.

This man is the very reason that I detest Christmas. He's a despicable individual.

Garmin Forerunner 110 X 2

Anyone want to buy one of them?