In the news

Jesus Christ.

You can't keep an unremarkable suburb out of the news;

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/mar/16/britains-prehistoric-coastline-discovered-in-west-london

India-Pakistan tensions mounting:

One of them will plant a leylandii hedge next and there’ll be hell to pay. Imagine the amount of frozen sausages...

Needs to be spliced with Stormzy in the park

Associated Press there

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/16/romanian-court-tells-man-he-is-not-alive

Erm...
...I hope he can spin it into cash he'll need it for the legal issues :(

sausages

Hmm, no pork, no beef.
If only there was a country with an advanced food tech industry with the skills to both develop reduced meat offal tubes and effectively lobby to have them still regarded as 'sausages'.
Someone show (disgraced former Defence Secretary, to give him his official title), Liam Fox the Jim Hacker at his best episode of Yes Minister, there's a new export market opening up here. BrexitUK can't afford to miss these opportunities.

Fixie skidder van.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-43427247

https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/mar/17/data-war-whistleblower-christopher-wylie-faceook-nix-bannon-trump?CMP=share_btn_tw

Slowing down with the handbrake fine... on the motorway!!!

Charlie Fuckin Van Driver.

russians saying porton down released the chemical weapon

didn't something similar happen during foot and mouth where a testing / govt. lab was the patient zero in the large outbreak, it spread from their waste flues out into the environment

admittedly, to get accidentally released and find it's way to a russian critic ONLY would be like winning the lottery on the day the earth was destroyed by a meteorite

i'm with corbyn, no jumping to conclusions right away

Especially when no one produced any evidence or facts. British declined sharing any information with the Russians to help the investigation, all thing is just based on accusations without facts. Very much like Brexit. Also why is this happening just before the Russian elections. I feel like it's a cover up for something a lot bigger.

You think that this resembles the introductory sequence to The Simspons, but instead of the nuclear fuel rod being caught in Homers shirt it's a flask of Novichok which (by complete coincidence) falls out of the hoodie of the Porton Down worker as they walked past the car of an ex-Russian double agent?

Aso why is this happening just before the Russian elections

Given that a) the Russian election is fixed and b) nobody in Russia seems to give a shit not the most successful black op to destabilise Putin

Totally. Everyone knows how the elections will end. Putin went past of point of no return. He can't leave now, even if he wants to. It will take a lot of force to change anything.

95 year old putin eventually ousted by Emmerson Mnangagwa in a military coup

Liverpool say next year.

Well predicted:

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-43452449

The Death of Stalin, has been well timed for release.

On an semi-unrelated note I thought this stat was interesting

No brakes, no MOT, no tax, no insurance, and no driving licence. On the motorway.

"no arrests were made"

Hmm, now which sector of the community is it that likes old transit vans, has a reputation for not taxing or insuring them and is seemingly untouchable by the long arm of the law?

Well, it's not like he's a cyclist or something.

They don’t arrest for motoring offences. They charge/summons you.