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Tiswas gives his speech

No, you've misread.

The horrible fucker is suing the parents.

He reckons that the kid died because he wasn't wearing a helmet.

not because he ran him over at eighty miles an hour.

He's claiming the kids death is putting him off his Coco Pops or something.

What a cunt.

Nope.
[quote=]
His legal move was a response to the decision of the Kenneys to sue him for $15,000 in damages for negligence in the killing of their son.
[/quote]

Still a cunt though.

and that unfortunate bride (god help her) gets as much airtime as she wants.

You'll be there all day mate.

Tell what does suck total balls though. Wedding speeches. Why we still stick to the tradition that no women speak at a wedding? You get the father of the bride, the groom and the (ho fucking ho) best man. The fucking bride doesn't even get to say anything! She just sits there like a passive victim while the groom's idiot friend drone on about the time he got so drunk blah blah blah. Now THAT is a stupid, out-dated frankly pretty offensive tradition. If I ever get married I will make absolutely sure that the bride's mother has as much opportunity to speak as the father and that unfortunate bride (god help her) gets as much airtime as she wants.

My wife spoke very briefly at our wedding, most weddings I have been to recently brides and mothers etc have all spoken, some really shouldn't have bothered (that goes for most of the male speeches aswell).

All speeches should be done and dusted in under 30 minutes.

All speeches should be done and dusted in under 30 minutes.

Good shout.

Whilst on the subject on weddings I hate these massive weddings, why do people do it? I'd quite like a small little set up with close friends and family, it's more important what happens after the day isn't it?

Agreed. We had 30 (mainly family/we could have easily halved that number) at our wedding, and about another 20 at the evening do.
By contrast I was at a wedding in the summer with 300 guests £25k price tag, tackiest thing I've been to in quite some time.

Run a sweepstake on the total length of all speeches. £5 to enter, winner takes all. It's livens them up far more than you'd imagine.

Heckling is the only entertainment. Also tequila.

30 minutes sounds way too long for my taste. Get it over and done with in half that, ideally. Imagine 30 minutes of Prince Philip, then another 30 of Charles; anecdotal euthanasia.

Different take on the royal wedding here http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/dreary-women-given-something-new-to-talk-about-201011163260/

Agreed. We had 30 (mainly family/we could have easily halved that number) at our wedding, and about another 20 at the evening do.
By contrast I was at a wedding in the summer with 300 guests £25k price tag, tackiest thing I've been to in quite some time.

30 People sounds great, my mrs. has got quite a big family and we'd only invite very close friends.

All this bolocks of £15k upwards weddings make me laugh, half of them probably end up divorced anyway. Plus (I might sound like a tight ass saying this) but that money is a bloody deposit for a house!

The Daily Mash really is like The Onion for 6th form boys.

'Stylish Masturbator' is funny though

All speeches should be done and dusted in under 30 minutes.

seriously? i haven't been to a wedding for years. how can people monologue for so long?

yes it is!

whoops.

i mean "stylish masturbator" is.

seriously? i haven't been to a wedding for years. how can people monologue for so long?

I was talking about all speeches.

Father of the bride
Groom
Bride
best man
and any other dullard that feels like talking shit at people.

Agreed. We had 30 (mainly family/we could have easily halved that number) at our wedding, and about another 20 at the evening do.

the entire population of peel?

Fuck no, I'm atleast 3 generations away from being a true gobbag.

#douglasboyatheart

I am already fed up with Kate and Will's wedding.

The idea of another six months of pathetic media analysis is depressing the crap out of me.

Couldn't. Give. A. Fuck.

bring back cromwell

I am already fed up with Kate and Will's wedding.

The idea of another six months of pathetic media analysis is depressing the crap out of me.

Couldn't. Give. A. Fuck.

There was a tv advert last night about Peter Andre 'trumiph' return or summat.

the narrator said "it going to get more crazy".

Just keep telling yourselves we should get a bank holiday out of it!!!

I'm bored of the speculation- will the wedding be paid for through taxation or not? If it is then they have truly lost touch. It'd be outrageous.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/man-shoots-tv-over-bristol-palin-dancing

Run a sweepstake on the total length of all speeches.

Last night there was a 'special' on teh television where they asked questions about the wedding and people had to ring in and vote. One example:

Where will the Royal Couple honeymoon?

a. Australia
b. South Africa
c. South America

At the end of the show, they went around and said "voting is closed, lets look at the results" or something.

"So, 199 of you thought they would be going to South Africa, 85 to South America, but Australia was well ahead on 587 votes. Well done Australia"

Fuck OFF!

What a fucking fix!