Missile attack

My brothers wife on her first commute to work was nocked off her bike by a couple of terrys in a car.

They drove past her and smacked her across the back with a rolled up newspaper and then drove off. She came off her bike and ended up in a ditch. Nothing broken, just cuts and bruises which have all healed now.

What hasn't healed is her confidence. She's not ridden to work since.

Police know who the kids are but have done fuck all about it because she was to busy crashing to get the number plate.

I'd like to get my hands on them fuckers!

Cans, jelly babies, rocks, pizza crusts, coffee cups (some from Starbucks, presumable for added ignominy) snow balls, chunks of ice.

A couple of incidents stand out though:

I rather unwisely decided to short it through the Aylesbury Estate on fireworks night and had rockets fired at me. I can only thank local ignorance and the inherent inaccuracy of fireworks that they were aimed directly at me, thus ensuring that they would miss. The sooner that estate gets razed, the better.

I rather unwisely decided to short it through the Aylesbury Estate on fireworks night and had rockets fired at me. I can only thank local ignorance and the inherent inaccuracy of fireworks that they were aimed directly at me, thus ensuring that they would miss. The sooner that estate gets razed, the better.

I don't think lots of the people living on the Aylesbury would agree with you on that one. I've had more stuff thrown at me by the loons at the back of the gay grottos behind Vauxhall than my regular journeys in Walworth...

There is a bunch of little cnnts in Peckham that like to kick a footy across the road when cyclists go past. Hit me once. A poxy little football was no match for 110kgs of pure muscle.

There is a bunch of little cnnts in Peckham that like to kick a footy across the road when cyclists go past. Hit me once. A poxy little football was no match for 110kgs of pure ginger.

fixed

Same thing.

weeeellll

Ah the aylesbury, once was cycling through there when a bunch of kids had found a couple of boxes of gone off milk cartons and were having large amounts of fun pelting any cyclist that passed them. I was unlucky enough to have large amounts of weight on my back so was slow and a very conspicuous target. luckily none of the cartons burst though. i cycled off very confused by the whole situation. got too the gf to say i'd just had loads of milk thrown at me, made her laugh at least.

I once tossed a punnet of cockles into a cabriolet Beetle with its roof down.

surely it's a "Caisson of Cockles"

I had a van drive up next to me, open the sliding side door and dump an entire bucket of water on me and drive off!

That wasn't water

I had an egg thrown at me on the way home from east drinks a week or two ago,

I chased down the car (not sure what skinny old me was going to do when the four of them got out).

right past a police station with waiting patrol car outside.

skidded to a halt, "officer, that car, silver fiesta just threw an egg at me! "

"ok son, we'll get them"

Police car screeched off in pursuit, and I tootled off home.

right past a police station with waiting patrol car outside.

skidded to a halt, "officer, that car, silver fiesta just threw an egg at me! "

"ok son, we'll get Donuts"

Police car screeched off in pursuit, and I tootled off home.

fIXED

I was once hit by half a brick throw at me in Copenhagen Street, between Islington and King's Cross.
It was well thrown too - hit me right on the head.

I was on a motorcycle thank fuck, so it hit the crash helmet, then bounced onto my leg, leaving a huge bruise. I hate to think what might have happened if I'd been on my bike.

Never did see who threw it - probably thrown off a balcony or window. I have since formed the opinion that the council estates round there should be demolished and they shouldn't bother telling the residents beforehand.

I was riding to work along Brookmill Road in Deptford and a car full of scotes (all looked like Polish labourers) pulls alongside me and blasts a sodding airhorn into my right ear. Scared the living shit out of me but somehow managed not to flinch and carried on my merry way. I think they were a little disapointed I didn't pile into the back of the parked car ahead. Pricks.

got hit by an egg once while working the rickshaw one saturday night. i took the rickshaw back to the garage and went out to try and find the rude boy car it came from. was gonna remove their wing mirror but never found the bastardos. i once threw a mushy banana out of my van window as i went round round a corner. it hit a truck windscreen and i heard a splat as it hit.

Getting hit with 40 would fucking hurt...

snowy you went thru the BIG A and came out alive .well done that man

I was riding to work along Brookmill Road in Deptford and a car full of scotes (all looked like Polak labourers) pulls alongside me and blasts a sodding airhorn into my right ear. Scared the living shit out of me but somehow managed not to flinch and carried on my merry way. I think they were a little disapointed I didn't pile into the back of the parked car ahead. Pricks.

Did you actually say "Polak"? Isn't that a bit like Using the "N" or "P" words? I'm not polish mind you, but I cant fly with that.

Egged on the way back from work in Uxbridge, thrown from a car travelling in the opposite direction on an NSL road. Felt like I'd been hit by a cricket bat on the side of my head. Took a few days for the shakes to wear off :/

Cunts.

Did you actually say "Polak"? Isn't that a bit like Using the "N" or "P" words? I'm not polish mind you, but I cant fly with that.

I didn't say a word to them but I now appreciate the error in using that word. I genuinely thought it was an alternate collective term. Sorry, no offence intended.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Polak

Hmm, on urban dic, I got a google add offering polish workers?! Do people actually specify the nationality of people they want working for them these days? Would an employment agency specialising in english workers be acceptable?!

Back on subject, I have been squirted with a supper soaker once from a car, and spat at from a bus... (neither because of my choice of language :-) both happened when I was a kid and lets say both had acceptable outcomes (broken supersoaker and scared kid)

racist.

(seriously)

I didn't say a word to them but I now appreciate the error in using that word. I genuinely thought it was an alternate collective term. Sorry, no offence intended.

Ha ha! No probs man. When I first came to England I use to think the word Paki was just something everyone said. I learned quickly and harshly!