Getting Married

A few golden rules Chug It.
Keep the bones in and the fat out!

Fry the brown the chicken in the pie dish and tip the fat out, add the veg, butter then flour. stir in and add the stock and chicken
Pastry on top, fuck it! Bang. In the Oven.. Bang... Cunt ... Fuck it (bit of Ramsey there for you)

For the pastry a little tip - replace some of the butter with lard (about 1/4) gives a flaky rich texture.

VeeVee: so true!

Well atleast when you get married you can start having sex together. You have heard the good news about our Lord Jesus Christ haven't you?

True Love Waits my friend... it waits

Ahmen

True Love Waits my friend... it waits

Ahmen

Indeed. It waits for freshly laundered vag.

Congrats by the way, Nahvikconcum person.

Nahvikconcum!!! I'm very offended ;)

Just set the date - 14th February 2009.
Kiss my face.

Damn it, you've got one up on me there ;)

Now the mayhem's going to start mate, best of luck with it!!

Just set the date - 14th February 2009.
Kiss my face.

Very smart move!

Easily remembered anniversary date - Check. One less gift / dinner / whatever required each year - check.

My plan is to take the lady of my dreams into the monkey enclosure at London Zoo. By the time this happens I might have a suitable one liner to go with the occasion…

hinking about it my local bar lady works at London Zoo, so I could go one further and get in the cage.. Still all rough plans at this early stage

You macaque me very ape-y...Will you marry me? You don't have to gibbon answer straight away.

shotgun wedding ?

They do a great Capuchin-o at the cafe there...

Well atleast when you get married you can start having sex together. You have heard the good news about our Lord Jesus Christ haven't you?

Verily...

Truth be told we haven't met yet - she sent me an e-mail when her boss, a wealthy oil tycoon, died unexpectedly and without a will. Apparently she could tell I was kind of heart and so wanted to split his US$12bn fortune with me. I just have to send another £10,000 and she can complete the transaction and come with the money to the UK. My friends say it's not for real, but they don't know what true love is.

Do not get married abroad.
It's a logistical fucking nightmare.

Also, don't get married in Grimsby.
It's a shit hole.

Do not get married abroad.
It's a logistical fucking nightmare.

Also, don't get married in Grimsby.
It's a shit hole.

+1 on not abroad, it's seriously complicated!! We were thinking of Paris and it turns out you have to live in France for like 6 months or something before you can get married there, also applies to anywhere under French rule, some random "celebrity" had there marriage anulled 'cause they got married on Bora Bora without living there for the regulatory length of time, bloody stupid or what!! I always wanted to get married in Grimsby though... ;)

Friend of mine just got hitched in Malta. £££

In France until last year you had to take a medical exam before getting married (for STDs and Aids and things).

Do you Love him or Like him? It's better to Like him. It will make it last way longer (or forever? But whats forever?)

Getting married abroad is a logistic nightmare. Getting divorced in the UK once married abroad becomes a greater headache.

Best to get married in England and stay married.

Amen to that...
:-))

Anyone know where i can get monkey butlers for the reception?

Monkeys don't have butlers I'm afraid. We call those guys zoo-keepers...

it'll be a beautiful site... 200 fixed gear riders in tuxedos riding up to the church to give you away.

Should you have last minute second thoughts, for a very reasonable fee (negotiable) I can arrange for you to be snatched from the alter ,an instant before you say "I do", by a group of masked men.
All you have to do is put up a reasonably convincing fight and scream a bit.
For a small extra consideration I will throw in a ransom note so you can recoop some of the cost of the reception etc.

Toodle pip

'altar'
'recoup'

Should you have last minute second thoughts, for a very reasonable fee (negotiable) I can arrange for you to be snatched from the alter ,an instant before you say "I do", by a group of masked men.
All you have to do is put up a reasonably convincing fight and scream a bit.
For a small extra consideration I will throw in a ransom note so you can recoop some of the cost of the reception etc.

Toodle pip

Marriage sounds a better deal than being kidnapped by someone who ends every comment with Toodle Pip!

If that's not grounds for divorce I don't know what is ;)

Poodle's Tip

Death sounds a better deal than being kidnapped by someone who ends every comment with Toodle Pip!

Fixed.