I confess...

I asked a friend of a friend (lets call him mike) if he would like to sit for a portrait and he immediately said yes, he's a funny bloke and I always like to paint people whose company | enjoy, I can't afford to pay anyone but I promised him dinner and booze afterwards. He was a good sitter, clearly like being looked at and was a bit vain, he sat up straight and still and there was a sense that he was involved in the making of the picture, which is important; some people are very passive and grumble about not being able to move.

when I had finished work and it was getting dark, we went to the pub and had 3 or 4 pints, the conversation flowed well, we talked about my ex girlfreind a bit, who he is good freinds with, and it was good to have an objective conversation with someone about all that. (I now have a girlfreind who I have been with about a year.)

We went home slightly merry and I cooked poached salmon and new potatoes for him and my mate richard, another painter, who turned up just as Mike was hitting the wine. Mike was suddenly totally pissed, refused his food, proclaimed undying love for richard who he had just met, embarked on a passionate rant about how working class he was in contrast to richard and i who apparently are priveliged borgeoise creative cunts, and I began to drink faster to try to engage with the jollity. Mike nearly knocked the table over twice, sprayed red wine everywhere, and repeatedly tried to kiss Richard on the lips.

Richard left, not embarrassed but clearly slightly surprised at the behaviour of my new freind, and left us to it. Mike put a Joy Division album on and we danced. When the wine was finished I opened a bottle of whiskey.

Then I pulled down his trousers and sucked him off.

Haha mate it's hard to tell where the fiction starts.

I confess that I now have a stonking great boner

wish he had had one. the tragedy is he couldnt get it up properly and i had to force feed him coffee and then he still couldnt and he fell asleep on my bed and i slept on the floor in the kitchen and when he left in the morning i pretended to be assleep because i was so ashamed

Haha mate it's hard to tell where the fiction starts.

its all true im afraid.

if i wanted to make things up i could go to a therapist

Not in the same league, but I just rolled over in time to see my three year old son roll off the bed... The confession is that I was stifling giggles when I picked him up!

I almost always laugh when Imogen falls over.

Sometimes I push her.

which i do go to, but this is for me funnier than it is worrying. If i had cheated on my girlfreind with a woman it would have been difrent, bvut my homosexual behaviour id so anomalopus i mean anomalous that i dont see it as a real problam but i still feel a bit wrong

Wether true or a lie it's a great story.

I almost always laugh when Imogen falls over.

Sometimes I push her.

Laughing out loud... literally!

Did a child fall over?

It was the timing... Only just read the first post when the second popped up. Priceless.

Apparently more rep must be distributed prior to my request that William be repped be granted.

I asked a friend of a friend (lets call him mike) if he would like to sit for a portrait and he immediately said yes, he's a funny bloke and I always like to paint people whose company | enjoy, I can't afford to pay anyone but I promised him dinner and booze afterwards. He was a good sitter, clearly like being looked at and was a bit vain, he sat up straight and still and there was a sense that he was involved in the making of the picture, which is important; some people are very passive and grumble about not being able to move.

when I had finished work and it was getting dark, we went to the pub and had 3 or 4 pints, the conversation flowed well, we talked about my ex girlfreind a bit, who he is good freinds with, and it was good to have an objective conversation with someone about all that. (I now have a girlfreind who I have been with about a year.)

We went home slightly merry and I cooked poached salmon and new potatoes for him and my mate richard, another painter, who turned up just as Mike was hitting the wine. Mike was suddenly totally pissed, refused his food, proclaimed undying love for richard who he had just met, embarked on a passionate rant about how working class he was in contrast to richard and i who apparently are priveliged borgeoise creative cunts, and I began to drink faster to try to engage with the jollity. Mike nearly knocked the table over twice, sprayed red wine everywhere, and repeatedly tried to kiss Richard on the lips.

Richard left, not embarrassed but clearly slightly surprised at the behaviour of my new freind, and left us to it. Mike put a Joy Division album on and we danced. When the wine was finished I opened a bottle of whiskey.

Then I pulled down his trousers and sucked him off.

Meh.

First world problems. Get a life.

Good troll post however.

Blah blah blah...and sucked him off.

You should write the whole story on the back of the canvas.

Meh.

First world problems. Get a life.

Good troll post however.

Thats harsh man. I really bared my soul there. I had to be brave.

I had to be brave.

Kidney punch at the climax?

:d

you weird fuckers

^Thank fuck, thought for a minute it was just me.

love this thread...

Frightens the shit out of me at times...

Why? Tempted to confess to being sucked off by a mate when drunk? Nowt wrong with that.

Why? Tempted to confess to being sucked off by a mate when drunk? Nowt wrong with that.

It's probably the class rant and proclamations of lurve to somebody he's just met that he's embarrassed about.

I plan to try racing people on strava just to beat them on their commute and take away the fastest route....

I plan to get a fastest route on strava, then dig a pit and cover it over with twigs and leaves

OK, I'm ready.

http://app.strava.com/segments/2657380

The key to this segment is to maintain your speed on the dirt track bit at the end. Even if there are patches of leaves.

South of the river?
I'm so slow anyway, not KOM on anything :( can I make my own segment to be KOM of?