I confess...

On occasion I will sneak up behind them and set fire to their hair. Then as they run around trying to pat the back of their head with their hands, all flappy-flappy, I will laugh in a good natured way before using the contents of my water bottle to extinguish the flames. After that I will accompany them to a top London salon and pay for the repair work, up to and including extensions, and then treat them to a meal at a Michelin starred restaurant. If that goes well we will take a taxi to a discrete little hotel I know where we will make love till the morning light. Finally I will order room service, the full-English or Continental depending on the sort of person they are. But I will leave without paying for it. That usually makes them think twice about crossing the road without looking.

If only there were more cyclists like you Will, London would be a better place. If Boris reads this, he'd give you a job.

Why thankyou VeeVee. Though apparently Bernard thought of it first. He also invented the cycling superhighway you know.

1. The fixed is in the shed
   I converted my old road bike to fixed.
   I know better, but in my haste to try it out I didn't bother putting my clippy shoes on.
   Going down the hill around the corner from me, just before my knee joints combusted, my left foot slipped off the pedal.
   I kangarooed on my right foot for about 100 m, while trying to get my hands around the drops to haul on the brakes.
   Only the fact there was bunch of people on the street stopped me from baling.
   I've locked it in the shed until it stops trying to bite me.

2. I don't signal when riding my brompton, even the great blondini couldn't.

3. In London RLJ ers make me seethe... I always go through the red at the pointless lights outside my train station in Kent.

4. There's a lovely lady cyclist on my train sometimes; I covert her Airnimal, its all Ti, carbon and sparkly bits.

I feel better now.

i cant index gears (thats why i ride fixed and ss)

That I wish the other side of my double bed had the girl I love on the other side

^ god i was pissed last night

that me and max watched squabs, go up and down the road trying to find the pub last night

"Squabs" lol

hahaha

...that I just flipped the bird at a Dutch driver, and I felt bad about it afterwards. First time I've done that (flipped the bird, not felt bad) since moving here.

for some reason I feel a little ashamed when i do it too. Like using a cheap trick.
Still, this is the only one that needs no international translation.
Why is there no hand signal for "WAC"...

i don't get michael jackson

Everyone has at least one bike related skeleton in their closet.
I'll start: I've never actually owned anything made by campagnolo, and I'm secretly proud of it.

Same here - almost; for some strange reasons I have a Campag labelled QR for a front hub. My confession:

I quite like Shimano stuff - also on my fixer...

i almost fell off my bike on 3 seperate 'incidents' today,
(first clipless ride)

My wife has left the house for an hour, and I'm having trouble resisting the temptation to drink everything I can find, from white wine to Newcastle Brown to Meths and blackcurrant to Brasso.
I need help.

that I have an addiction to sugary drinks :(

Not so bad, Lileth.
In the list of top ten worst things you can be addicted to, Fanta doesn't really feature.
Now go have a can of pop.

I drink Ribena everyday, red bull or V if I'm about, Blue WKD, Red Bull w/ Vodka or cocktails if I'm out in town.
Yeah.

I drink Ribena everyday, red bull or V if I'm about, Blue WKD, Red Bull w/ Vodka or cocktails if I'm out in town.
Yeah.

I bet your teeth look like Sugar Puffs.

Ha. :/

I just watched Spice World.

There's a commonality between all of those people.

Your ignore list?

My new slimmed down list.

But I've removed the list to keep [some] people guessing.