You know you're fixed gear crazy when...

when you spend half your day on this website rather than doing what you get paid to do

Tell me about it. I'm waiting to get fired because of these forums. "Marisa, that paper work...did you finish it?"

"Um yeah, about that..."

edit But truly, I'm a damn good employee.

A mates mate got dumped by his Mrs few months back as he was spending too much time with his bike!! WTF!

I'd rather have my man on his bike with all his friends than anywhere else to be quite honest....I mean, aside from riding and hanging out with me of course. It's like that drug you don't mind him doing.

...when you go out for a quick spin to check the latest tweak on your bike (tyre pressures; re-shimmed handlebars; tighter headset; etc.)
... next thing you arrive home 2-3 hours later, t-shirt all sweaty, and you wonder what happened!?

you are jealous others have a longer commute than you do

it seems perfectly sensible to make a diversion to shoreditch on the way home from work (which should be from haymarket to kew)

your non cycling friends think you have a new tourettes tick when you keep interrupting conversations to shout "do a skid" at passing cyclists

[quote=dancing james;276720] "your non cycling friends"

What are 'non-cycling friends'? If such a thing existed, what would you talk about?

My other half is currently in Copenhagen, she sent a text yesterday saying she'd just seen a Brooks saddle and it reminded her of me. I'm hoping she didn't mean old and leathery.

...holiday preparations include googling the nearest bike shops to see if they stock any good bling parts.

your non cycling friends think you have a new tourettes tick when you keep interrupting conversations to shout "do a skid" at passing cyclists

ahhh, yes. Did that one once and scared myself quite a bit.

Whilst lying in bed, you can cause your heartrate to triple, purely by visualising a fixed gear hillclimb.

preparing for holiday by learning the following phases in the native tongue:
700x23 long valve inner tube please (or appropriate equivalent)
I have lost a ...
Do you have any spare..
tubs
chain ring bolts
patches
wing nuts
washers
32mm spanner

...holiday preparations include googling the nearest bike shops to see if they stock any good bling parts.

So so true.

... you have 13T and a 16T sprocket by your bedside.

487 cycling mags in different languages and no books.

up at 3.30 spotting fix wheel bikes in badly scripted 70's post apocalyptic films

...you have chain muck on every fucking pair of jeans (right leg only)

...you have chain muck on every fucking pair of jeans ( crotch only)
nice

^ ha!
Bad mental image.

...everytime you finish building a bike... you smash a bottle of champagne on the top tube and fuck it to pieces. (one step too far, i'll get my bike.)

...you cycle to work in a hat made by Smeear, wearing jeans stiched by Shinscar, with a lock-holster made by Scott, on a bike cobbled together with bits from a variety of other forumengers.

...you have chain muck on every fucking pair of jeans (right leg only)
swap to white-lightening clean ride, no muck on chain or leg or crotch ;)

swap to white-lightening clean ride, no muck on chain or leg or crotch ;)

But when i grow up i wanna look just like bill the grubby barstard he is.

I am alex to everyone on here, aside from murtle who has called me andrew, matthew and mark so far. :)

sorry simon

unless you borrow murtles wig, there is no way you will get facial hair! FAIL!

swap to white-lightening clean ride, no muck on chain or leg or crotch ;)

isnt that what i used to drink in the park?

..........at least 10 people i would never have met before, are taking the piss out of me today on about 10 different threads.