Epic fail

I'm not sure - it was from a satellite location in Windsor, but we get copied into all their crap as we are in the GAL, and they can't seem to get their hands around it when we reply 'Please remove us from group emails'

I'd like to think the graffiti was along the lines of 'Fuck you and your ''Being the Customer'' sessions'

I'd like to think the graffiti was along the lines of 'Fuck you and your ''Being the Customer'' sessions'

Seems a fair point.

I'm not sure - it was from a satellite location in Windsor, but we get copied into all their crap as we are in the GAL, and they can't seem to get their hands around it when we reply 'Please remove us from group emails'

I'd like to think the graffiti was along the lines of 'Fuck you and your ''Being the Customer'' sessions'

well there's your problem, try getting them to get their heads around the issue rather than trying to jack off with it

Oops, hand/head co-ordination fail.

At our factory, all the staff bogs have nice hot running water, fresh towels and a choice of lovely soaps.
The shop floorbog has swarfega in a cut down plastic barrel, a roll of paper and no hot water.

Some champ has made up a sign that tickles me every time.

It's not epic, but it makes me laugh.
A win for the lads, but a fail for the managers.

^ great!

Motivational work poster fail! (An email I received today)

Please forward to your teams.

It was brought to my attention that the posters we have placed near the door to encourage you to connect with your managers advocate and experts on this floor, have been defaced. (Defacing company property is gross misconduct.)
This is so disappointing when I think of the challenges we face as a department to work towards where we need to be in terms of the experience we create for our customer, that one or more of us are prepared to cause the inconvenience and cost of having to replace expensive large colour prints, that are here for your benefit.

As we are not able to identify who did this unfortunately I have had to blanket brief you all, and for those of you who continue to come to work every day with the right work ethic and behaviours, Thank You, and I apologise to you for having to hear of an example where your colleague has let your group down, and for the time this has taken away from what I have been able to do to support you whilst you do your best for our customers today.

Regards,

Kate.

Are there really people in the world who would write an email such as this (without having a wry grin on their face)?
The thought that someone wrote this in earnest actually makes me feel sick. Has someone killed the author yet?

No I have worked in these environments and there are people who eat, sleep and breathe this pompous corporate slaveism like it's a religion

When I worked at Boots they had a yellow smilie poster with a slogan reading "smile and deliver", on all the doors that led to the shop floor.

What did make me smile was the simple addition of the word 'biatch'.

I love the teamy teamy overtone on this bs, and indeed on most corporate type ,
then they sack you the next day..............

No I have worked in these environments and there are people who eat, sleep and breathe this pompous corporate slaveism like it's a religion

You're just not 'reading from the same page'.

check this out readers, some gems:-
http://www.billboardliberation.com/

or 'singing from the same hymm sheet'.

you need to 'get with the programm'

I am spreading the 'attitude virus' that's for sure

I just tried to jump out the window, but the safety glass just smashed me in the face.

We've got a new corporate cunt in charge of us.
He's a right little pretender.
He's obviously read a very slim pamphlet on the subject of nu-speak, and thought he had it covered.
They decided to cut our overtime rate, and this little corporate cunt thought he could handle thirty rabid printers.
After half an hour of solid abuse he was nearly crying, and all he could say was, 'moving forward...moving forward...moving forward...moving forward...'
('Go home, you stupid little cunt!')
"Right! Who said that! Listen, moving forward..."

He was laughed off.

We get copied into all their crap as we are in the GAL

Greyhound Awareness League?

I am spreading the 'attitude virus' that's for sure

I would'nt go that far. you just need to 'realign your strategy', and pehaps be a little more 'goal orientated'.

Thats it I've made myself puke now

We've got a new corporate cunt in charge of us.
He's a right little pretender.
He's obviously read a very slim pamphlet on the subject of nu-speak, and thought he had it covered.
They decided to cut our overtime rate, and this little corporate cunt thought he could handle thirty rabid printers.
After half an hour of solid abuse he was nearly crying, and all he could say was, 'moving forward...moving forward...moving forward...moving forward...'
('Go home, you stupid little cunt!')
"Right! Who said that! Listen, moving forward..."

He was laughed off.

Best reply I ever heard to the 'you need to look further down the road' defence for pay cuts was...

I'll f**king have too. Dosent look like I can afford to drive down there now!

No I have worked in these environments and there are people who eat, sleep and breathe this pompous corporate slaveism like it's a religion

I feel the General Lucifer type of writing spreading. Possibly.. what do You say, Eightball? Do we have a chance to read the corporate-bullshit-religion novel in near future?

We've got a new corporate cunt in charge of us.
He's a right little pretender.
He's obviously read a very slim pamphlet on the subject of nu-speak, and thought he had it covered.
They decided to cut our overtime rate, and this little corporate cunt thought he could handle thirty rabid printers.
After half an hour of solid abuse he was nearly crying, and all he could say was, 'moving forward...moving forward...moving forward...moving forward...'
('Go home, you stupid little cunt!')
"Right! Who said that! Listen, moving forward..."

He was laughed off.

hahahaahah, what a knob.

We've got a new corporate cunt in charge of us.
He's a right little pretender.
He's obviously read a very slim pamphlet on the subject of nu-speak, and thought he had it covered.
They decided to cut our overtime rate, and this little corporate cunt thought he could handle thirty rabid printers.
After half an hour of solid abuse he was nearly crying, and all he could say was, 'moving forward...moving forward...moving forward...moving forward...'
('Go home, you stupid little cunt!')
"Right! Who said that! Listen, moving forward..."

He was laughed off.

YouTube- Big Train: Tom Henderson New Office Manager

That is a brilliant sketch!

I understand that the sketch definitely didn't mean "put a cloud-shaped hole in the ground", but what does it mean?

It is a revision cloud.