Epic fail

Me. I was fiddling with my ipod with my back to the train track at Clapham junction I didn't see the train arrive but when I did I grabbed my bag with one hand and bike with the other and attempted the 5 yard dash only for the doors to shut on me half way through. I couldn't drop either and unlike the tube they don't open automatically if something gets jammed.

Two passengers had to force them open while the guard kept repeating "stand clear of the doors" like I had a choice.

Shame, shame I know my name

I did a similar thing once in the automatic doors of a library. They were being repaired, but the maintenance man didn't put any signs up, so, none-the-wiser, I walked at the doors anticipating that they would part in time as usual. They did, but only a bit. Just enough to wedge me in them while a queue of attractive young language students starred at me. The maintenance guy just shook his head and said "Yeah, that's how you use automatic doors isn't it."

He left me their as he spent a few extra seconds to further express his opinion through various shrugs and exhalations before opening them. Now free, I didn't feel like entering anymore, so I turned around and left, which had the unintended effect of compounding my embarrassment by making the whole ordeal pointless.

Stashed my clip-on mudguard in the recycling box outside my house cos I couldn't be bothered to unlock the front door to put it inside.

The recycling was collected today.

Stashed my clip-on mudguard in the recycling box outside my house cos I couldn't be bothered to unlock the front door to put it inside.

The recycling was collected today.

Hopefully you wont get fined for messing up the recycling....

It was in with the plastic, a tiny win in an ocean of fail.

deserves linking

Here's a good one

Is that a town called Bury?

No , they are actually a group of sadistic animal burying nutters.

Pixels.

Used to say helping bury and Oldham animals.

Me. Put unleaded in diesel van at work. It even has a huge sticker saying DIESEL on the filler door. Only 2l before I noticed so I put 30l diesel on top only to discover that this doesn't help for modern diesel engines. £40 wasted more pain to follow.

Apparently this happens lots.

Meh.

The po po do it all the time despite having a recorded message which plays when they open their petrol cap.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/8255204/Police-officers-put-wrong-fuel-in-cars-hundreds-of-times-despite-in-built-alert-in-petrol-caps.html

I've done the same... On a bank holiday Sunday night :-/

Car actually sounded better after it was flushed than it had for years.

Apparently the other way round is catastrophic.[*]

Diesel in a 10+yr old petrol is fine. A bit smokey but ok if it's diluted enough.

^^^ that sounds like a lot, but three hundred in seven years over fifty areas is only once a year per force (although if ineptitude is involved, I bet the loins share are the met ;-)

I worked for a company with a car and van fleat of about 600 and there was about one a month. Which I'm sure is a far worse percentage.

the problem is most common on a Friday, when tired
workers heading home are concentrating least.

This.

My brother did it to my car once, the cock.

The ESSEX po po do it all the time despite having a recorded message which plays when they open their petrol cap.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/8255204/Police-officers-put-wrong-fuel-in-cars-hundreds-of-times-despite-in-built-alert-in-petrol-caps.html

That's less than one a week if Essex are telling the truth. Who's to say that the same level of (in)competence is shown across the country.

No , they are actually a group of sadistic animal burying nutters.

The one one the left still has soil on her face from the last bestial inhumation.

They're all laughing at a bloody corpse they just chucked in the gutter.

elucidate

Yeah this one must be subtle

Oh bugger. I am disappoint.

Pixels.

Used to say helping bury and Oldham animals.

^^ her helmet isn't done up properly, and looks ill-fitting.